I was going through a very difficult time in my marriage.  It had been going on for a few weeks.  I was so desperate for my husband to want me that I was prepared to wait, no matter how long it took for him to make his mind up.  He had said that he wasn�t sure how he felt and it may take some time. 

There became a point when I became so exhausted with the waiting and crying so much every day, holding on to this empty hope.  I prayed every day that he would say he realized that he loved me and that everything would be alright.  But, it seemed that this was never going to happen.  I was so very unhappy for a long time and at night I would plead and beg in my head that if I could just stay asleep, then I�d be free from all of this.  I never spoke it out aloud, only in my head.  I don�t even know who I thought I was saying it to, but I said it anyway.  Each night I would say:  �Please, please, please, if there is anything there, a God or whatever, if you are hearing this, please give me this one and only wish, I promise that I will never ask this again � please, please don�t let me wake up.�  

I did this for a few nights and at the time, I can remember feeling so utterly unhappy that any thoughts of my family did not come into my mind at all.  I did not have children, but of course, it would still have been terrible for my family if I hadn�t woken up and for them to have been told that I�d apparently died in my sleep.  When you are so unhappy, you just don�t think about other people. It is not because you don�t care or love them, it is just that your own unhappiness is paramount and it overwhelms everything else.  So, although some people would see the wish to die as selfish, it is totally understandable when you realize that the person is in so much despair.  They see this as the only means of escape.  They don�t feel that they can tell anyone about how bad they feel, as I didn�t.  No-one realized the extent of my unhappiness, except myself. 

One particular night, I can remember going to bed � still feeling deeply unhappy.  I can remember thinking that maybe this will be the night�.. I said to myself, �please let this be the night�.  I must have dropped off  to sleep at some point. 

The next thing that I knew was that I seemed to be travelling in some sort of a tunnel.  I could see a small light at the end that was very bright and I was getting closer to it.  I don�t know how I was moving; I seemed to be gliding effortlessly.  At the same time, I could hear the most amazing music, nothing like the music on earth at all.  I have no way of describing it, other than to say that it was heavenly music.  When I got closer to the bright white light, I remember seeing rows and rows of hands, all held open as if to greet me and welcome me.  There were no bodies attached, no faces and no-one spoke.  All communication was done with thought transmission.  These were beings of light.  I felt tremendous love all around me, it was so intense, I was completely engulfed by it and I felt such enormous relief � all my sadness had completely vanished.  I felt so relaxed and peaceful and totally loved.  Whatever was happening and wherever I was, I wanted to stay, but suddenly words entered my head. I don�t know who was speaking to me; the words just came into my head.  I was told:   �you�re not ready�, you�re not ready yet�.  Suddenly, I found myself travelling back down through the tunnel at tremendous speed.  I was being sent back.  I heard a very loud whoosh sound and I woke up very startled. I hadn�t a clue what had just happened. It felt as if I had been thrown out of something.  I remember thinking �what on earth was that?�  I�ve just had the most amazing dream of my life!  But, of course this was not just a dream at all.  This was an out of body experience or a near death experience.  I believe without doubt that I had a glimpse of the �other side�.  The strangest thing was, I didn�t feel sad or remotely concerned about my marital problems after that.  In fact, the only thought I had in my mind was that �I don�t need this, I am alive and well and that is all that matters.�  At this point, I decided that I did not wish to continue with the marriage.  It just didn�t matter anymore. 

I don�t know what my experience was, but I know it happened.  I was at a very low point in my life and I believe that whatever the experience was, it gave me the strength that I needed. I felt as if my soul had been cleansed. 

I don�t know where I went, but I know that place exists.  I never saw it again, not for years and years�� not until shortly after my Mother�s death, 22 years later, which affected me deeply.  Since my Mum passed away, I have been blessed in that I have had several visits from her and she has shown me glimpses of that wonderful place.  I know it exists and it awaits all of us.  It is a great comfort to know that we will all end up in such a beautiful place surrounded by total love.  When my time comes, I know that I will have absolutely no fear of death.  I am pleased to share my experience with other people.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  No

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I remember being very aware of the whole experience.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   Everything just seemed so intense and much more vivid than normal everyday consciousness.  I still remember the heavenly music.

Did your vision during the experience differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any way, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?   Yes   Colors and brightness were much more intense, but not painful to the eyes to look at.

Did you have any visual impairment during your normal everyday life immediately prior to the time of the experience?   No  

Did your hearing during the experience differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any way, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?         Yes   Hearing seemed more intense, especially where the music was concerned and the very loud whoosh sound when I was sent back through the tunnel.

Did you have any hearing impairment during your normal everyday life immediately prior to the time of the experience?   No  

Did you experience consciousness / awareness apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   I didn't feel as if I had an earthly body.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring at a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during the time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body that you later (after your experience) verified really happened or was real?   No  

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during the time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body that you later (after your experience) verified did not really happen or was not real?   No  

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during the time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical body that were located far beyond any possible physical sensory awareness of your physical / earthly body?   No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Intense love and peace.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   Yes   Travelled through a long tunnel.

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   An extremely bright white light was at the end of the tunnel.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth, but whose earthly lives had ended prior to the time of your experience (they were deceased)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any earthly beings who were alive at the time of your experience (they were not deceased)?   No      Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence? No-one spoke, all communication was done with thought transmission.

Did you become aware of past events in your life?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A bright white place full of love and beings of light.

Did time seem to speed up?   Time didn't seem to be real or relevant.  

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Yes I was told: "you're not ready"  

Did scenes from the future come to you?  Neither 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there is continued existence after earthly life (�life after death�)?   Yes   I believe that had I been allowed to enter, I would have continued in some other existence.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there is no continued existence after earthly life (�no life after death�)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being really does exist?   Yes   I believe that there is definitely a supreme being, whether this is God, I do not know.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being really does not exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that some or all of us currently living our earthly lives did have some type of existence prior to our current earthly lives?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that some or all of us currently living our earthly lives did not have some type of existence prior to our current earthly lives?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there exists a mystical connection, oneness, or unity that connects some or all of us currently living our earthly lives with something else, such as other being(s) or other thing(s)?   Yes   During my experience, I felt that there are other beings that live amongst us in our earthly lives.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there does not exist a mystical connection, oneness, or unity that connects some or all of us currently living our earthly lives with something else, such as other being(s) or other thing(s)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life�s meaning or purpose?   No