Experience description:

I come from a Family of 19 Children ,We grew up on a Dairy Farm in Green leaf Wisconsin. My Mother had just Passed away unexpected ,She was the 5th Death in my Family in what I feel was a short time. I first lost my sister Kathy to Ovarian Cancer, Then next year My Brother George to Automobile accident . Right after George's death I lost my Nephew Nick to motorcycle accident. The fallowing year I lost My Father at age of 80 ,he had been suffering from Dementia and had cancer. Things were difficult for my Mother and I taking care of my Father at their home. The last 3 months of my Fathers life he was in a Dementia Unit because Mother & I could no longer care for him, It broke our hearts. My Father and I had not gotten a long at times because of the Dementia. He called one day to apologize for the way he acted at home with Mom and I. It broke my heart for what he went threw. I didn't get to say good bye when he passed. Because of my Parents I decided to go back to School for Nursing to help them and other Peoples Parents to have comfort and good care. After My father passed My Mother asked me to sleep with her and hold her hand so she could fall a sleep, I did for 3 Months.  I Was Attending College just about ready to finish my course and take my Exam, I was working full Time and going to school I got home from work one night and My Niece told me My Brother Mark called Ambulance for my Mother ,she was having chest pains. She said not to worry They are keeping her over night in Hospital for observation not sure what is going on .I want to go to Hospital but did not, during the night my Mother passed away from a blood clot. I was crushed, I should of went to Hospital. The night before she tried to tell me something was wrong but did not think is was something I should worry about. After her funeral I was pressured to move out of their farm house by other Family members who bought my Parents Home, This is when My depression and feeling of being alone started getting worse. I moved to City and lived in a Hotel until I would find a place to live. I didn't have much money then, I felt very alone .One day I went on a dating Web site and met someone who was not who they said they were. I let him talk me in to giving him my money, I was to get it back. I didn't and had no were to turn to, After all that happened to me then this. I stood in Bathroom in front of the mirror one night and cried out to God ,"Why would you let someone with such a good heart go threw this trouble, Don't you care?'  I proceeded to take a bottle of sleeping pills and Tylenol, and another type of sleeping meds, I thought that should do it, Then I could be with my Parents and other family on other side, Death would be better. The next day I thought for sure I would be gone. I heard someone knocking hard on my Hotel door and yelling you need to answer the door your suppose to be out at Noon. I opened my eyes and sat up quickly and could hardly walk I went to Bathroom looked in Mirror what a horrible sight I saw, I looked like a walking dead person. God started working his miracle with me. They let me leave the Hotel and I drove to a friends House everything was a Haze. What started happening to me was I was between worlds, I was starting to be on the other side. I was not really awake and walking around. I was out of my body already. I went on to go threw a few more events. Then I must Of left the world because then I was laying down I could see a white light in darkness and bending over me was my Family Mom, Dad, Kathy, George, Nick waving there arms for me to come with them. As they were calling for me Jesus stepped in an said to me it's not your time, but first come with me to the Father God. We sat in a church for a while talking and then God the Father Started To Talk to me, I saw a huge chair with lots of bright colors around like lights going every where. I heard the most strongest voice but very gentle and loving speak to me ' Mary, Mary' 'You have a good Heart, It's time to start thinking about what makes Mary Happy, You have helped so many people, start taking care of your self.' ' You have to go  back you are not done with what you have to do, you are going to help more people. When you are done I will let you know when it is time to come home. Take care of your self, make Mary happy do things you like to do also.' I remember feeling such strong love going threw me it was amazing feeling, I asked that I would never forget that feeling. Jesus took me back, we sat on my sister bench by her log cabin home for a while just talking. One other event I remember is being stuck in a crowd of people and it was dark, Jesus reached his hand down to me and pulled me up towards him and we walked away. That I think was part of first experience of leaving my body maybe crowd of others who had taken their lives and he pulled me out because it wasn't my time. When I was in hospital, I could feel Jesus was with me he opened doors for me that should not of been opened to leave the Hospital and go with Family. All I know is every since I have been Back I have such love for others and wanting to help serve others is greater. I can say I am not afraid of Death and do not have depression any more I know God the Father and Jesus Love me and one day they will let me know when it is time to come home, because he told me so!!!They love us so much beyond what words can express!! I also visited a huge Library when I was in Heaven The books were the books of everyone's life I was told. There was a huge Mansion with white Benches to sit on the floor was made of gold colors ,there were big white pillars    There is so much more I could tell you in the events of being between worlds and then Heaven, I was gone for a while.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Uncertain  I Had Loss Sister, Brother, Father, Then My Mother when going threw College Course to become Certified Nursing assistant

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     I was ashamed by taking my life and how it happened, It was hard for me at first to tell anyone.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?      When in Heaven

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I did not feel like myself

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   My vision improved

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I could hear more clearly

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Love, Tears of joy because of love Heaven has for us.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   Yes   Yes, there was darkness then white light and Family waving me to come to them.

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   Yes , White orbs

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Jesus Greeted me,And Then God The Father

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   Yes   Jesus, God the Father

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes   My Parents, George, Kathy, Nick.  I saw them as full Human presences before me

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   Some unfamiliar and strange place
I was on Earth but it was not real, like in between worlds

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Lost meaning of time

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about myself or others
Love of self and great love towards helping others, I felt re charged of new life, The Love of Universe so hard to express

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Uncertain
not sure what to express

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life
I knew I had to come back because my work here was not done

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 


During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   Yes, God the Father said he would let me know when it is time to come home, He told me so !!

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Yes, I met Jesus then God the Father

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Yes, The feeling of Love that come threw me was awesome

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Yes   Yes, I was to come back and help others show love and compassion towards others

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   Yes, Love one another as Jesus and God the Father love us.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   No  

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I believed in God, and Jesus ,Angels

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.   I asked that God would allow me not to forget but remember my experience and I do

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I Wanted to hug everyone and tell them I love them ,help them were things were wrong in their lives make life better, tell everyone not to be afraid of death when it is their time. I know God is watching and helping me when I need it to serve others as a Nurse.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   Yes to do the best I can do and if I stumble ask God and Jesus for help and they will reach down and help me.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   Yes, I know sometimes that people are going to ask me for help and I get there before they ask and they say how did you know I needed you? I can pick up on someone's loved one that passed and how they passed.I feel energy from people good or bad.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     Meaningful to me was meeting Jesus and God the Father and how much they loved me and want to help me take care of my self

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  very few and it was hard at first because of my attempt to take my life

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   Felt very real because how my new life was going in direction it was suppose to go by Gods will. Doors opened up that should not of opened.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   very real experience so much to tell.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   Yes

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   gotten better   Uncertain

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   not sure   If everyone had a chance to experience a near death they would love one another more and not be afraid of end of life they would make the world a better place to live. no more hate !

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   Yes

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   yes helped me express my experience   not sure what to sayWhat could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?  very helpful

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?              yes they see me as more giving