I went outside to work on a programming issue in the fresh air. Every time I picked up my pencil I was hit with a wave of nausea and my heart would start pounding.  I asked repeatedly why I was feeling like this even though my life was going great. Suddenly, I heard a loud crack, saw a bright flash of white light, and I was then sitting 2 feet to the right of my physical body. I was not moving.

As I looked at myself I was hit with a realization that several of my closest relationships were abusive beyond repair, and the cause of my stress, not my job.  In that moment, traumatic memories from these relationships, which I had buried all came rushing up.  My MIL feeding us food tainted with broken glass and a coworker calling me repeatedly in the middle of the night over  a fabricated work issue.  I was sick because of the people I had surrounded myself with, not the unsolvable work problems.

I saw a giant iridescent, swirling blob of color, which I understood was a representation of how all energies are interconnected, and how emotional experiences can cause physical symptoms in the body.

At the same moment, an algebra equation popped into my head, which would solve the programming issue I was mulling over. I am a visual designer, I am famously bad at math and have dyscalculia. However, this equation ended up being the solution I needed, despite not having any understanding of what it represented.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?      No     

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          No     

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Uncertain     I was stressed to the point of recurrent vomiting and very elevated heart rate for an extended period.  Was not admitted/hospitalized but was monitored via ecg remotely.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?    Completely alert and awake

Was the experience dream like in any way?  It only felt dreamlike in the sense that it was surreal

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   Yes    I heard/felt a loud crack and a flash of light.  Suddenly I was approx. 2 feet to the right of my physical body.  I did not have a form/body, it was like my consciousness disconnected and shifted over a couple feet.  I was 'floating' at the same height as my physical form which was seated on my deck.  I could not move, but I could look around.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Shock at the realization I was being bullied/abused by a couple of my closest relationships.  This was followed by confusion and grief, then a deep sense of peace and clarity that everything was going to be ok now that I had 'seen the bigger picture' along with the path forward.

It was like being physically hit with a realization, a wave of sadness and then a warm, enveloping love and reassurance in very quick succession.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?         When the realization/shift hit me, I heard a crack inside my head, right in the very middle.  It was like wood splintering.

Then again when I was seeing the connections between the events, my body and my emotions, I heard a blast of sound and the words 'this is why'

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?         Uncertain     I considered myself atheist or agnostic but have always believed that energy was eternal.  To reconcile this belief, I have thought of heaven/the afterlife in terms of an ambiguous, unknowable vast swirling mass of energy.

I 'saw' all the interconnected events and energies for a moment and got a sense that I was being shown my interpretation of non-physical life as a visual aid in the moment - confirmation that everything is connected in ways we can’t usually perceive.

Did you see a light?        Yes    Blinding white flash of light at the same moment I heard the crack and left my body

Did you meet or see any other beings?         Uncertain          The voice saying 'This is why' was external and sounded like a chorus of voices yelling it at me at the same time, like they were desperate for me to see the obvious truth.I didn’t see or sense anyone around me but the voice was external.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?         Yes   

I tried to move but was fixed in place; I could only pivot my viewing angle so I decided to look at my partially completed graph paper.  When I looked at it, a math equation popped into my head.I also 'saw' how the relationships causing me distress were intentional on the other person’s part.  As in, they acted kind or said they did things out of love but I could now see their true motivations.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes    During the event, I suddenly understood that a close colleague and 2 immediate family members were pushing me to quit my job for their own reasons and not my benefit.  Unfortunately I’m stubborn and things had escalated into emotional and physical abuse. Outwardly, that sounds crazy as these were long term loving relationships.

After this event, I found out that my colleague wanted my job & was completely fabricating issues at work to cause me distress.  I was told this directly by her when I confronted her about calls in the middle of the night.

The same ended up being true with the immediate family- they did not want me to succeed, they wanted me to be a stay at home mom and caretaker and were actively planning ways to pressure me into quitting so I would be reliant on them.  This was confirmed when I went to therapy with my husband after the event.

Before my OBE I trusted these people deeply and could never have imagined they were stressing me out to the point of illness without me picking up on what was going on.

Also, the random algebra equation I visualized works & it has been implemented into the software I configure at my job.

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different? Yes    I could see and hear, but I could not move, feel or smell.

It felt like time had frozen and because I was no longer in my physical body, I could only see what was around my body, I could see all around but was fixed in place.  I only heard the cracking noise and 'this is why' with a loud blaring tone, no other outdoor sounds.

At the same time I saw myself/the things I was writing, I also saw an iridescent writhing blob of light and energy within my mind’s eye, along with the characters which made up an algebra equation.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes          Time stopped.  As I watched my body, I noticed that I was not blinking or breathing, and my hand was hovering above the paper but not moving at all.  The breeze in the trees around me stopped and everything stood still.

It felt like 30 seconds to a minute passed before I snapped back into my body and time resumed.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         Yes    I felt like I was shown how all life and energy are connected, and how limited our perception of it is.

This is hard to explain but at the same time as understanding my relationships were not healthy, I suddenly gained clarity on how to preserve ratios of colour differentiation on screens in both HD and ultra-HD colour space models.  That was my work problem - how to preserve a colour scale developed for colour blindness across different makes and models of monitors.  The equation I came up with to preserve these ratios *works* and it has been implemented and we’ve gotten positive feedback from our colourblind users.  I understood colour theory in physical media like paint, beforehand but was unfamiliar with digital displays in this way.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?           Yes    My point of view was fixed in place and I could not move, only look around.

Did you become aware of future events?      Yes    I have always had premonitions and gut feelings, but since this happened I have really leaned into examining them.

Now, I get a sense of 'knowing' I can’t explain and in some cases, hear or sense a crackle in the middle of my brain when something is true (even if I couldn’t possibly know for sure).

I feel much more aware of others emotions and motivations which has led to many uncanny predictions.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?          No     

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes    I feel like they’ve always been there but I didn’t want to acknowledge them or feel crazy. Since the OBE I can tell when someone is lying or hiding their intentions, I get strong premonitions about events before they happen.  I started meditating and drawing tarot cards to reflect occasionally, and following these sessions I have dreams about people or events which then occur shortly afterwards.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?     Yes    I went from being a materialist, to being certain that there is an afterlife, interdimensional energies, quantum mechanics, psychic abilities/channelling, etc. are real. A complete reversal in ideology and a newfound faith.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?   I kept my job and have had several career breakthroughs.  I got HR to deal with the coworker who was fabricating issues and calling outside of work hours.I divorced my abusive husband and no longer have contact with his family who fed us food tainted with glass.  I stopped throwing up in the morning the day after we broke up and I haven’t been sick since.  I lost 100lbs and regained my health.I meditate daily and am exploring my spirituality and potential gifts.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes    I went through the toughest months of my life following the OBE, which all confirmed the things I saw/was shown. I’m now divorced and am not in contact with any of the abusive relationships (except for co-parenting coordination messages with my ex). Despite my life 'falling apart' I am happier, healthier and have more money and opportunities than ever before.  I live in the same house and have the same job but otherwise my life is entirely different and for the better.

Have you shared this experience with others?       Yes    I told 2 friends.  One, a Catholic, was extremely concerned / didn’t believe me and we no longer speak.The other friend believed me as she has also had an 'experience.'  We are more open about dreams, tarot and existential beliefs since then.

I don’t see myself talking to anyone else I personally know, based on the extreme reaction from friend #1

What emotions did you experience following your experience? I was angry at myself for not seeing how bad of shape I was in before rhe OBE.  It felt like for weeks afterwards I was walking around in a daze after having bandages ripped off my eyes. An uneasy feeling of disbelief like 'did all that really happen?' settled into acceptance and a sense of knowing what I had to do (cut off those relationships).

What was the best and worst part of your experience?          Best = seeing the colour spaces and colour scales / math in my head & it turning out to be right.  Knowing I had seen and understood something way bigger than myself, and that I had been shown this information simply because I asked 'why' while I was in a receptive state of mind. Worst = realizing my MIL had continued tampering with my food since the time she had served us broken glass & knowing my ex-husband would justify her behaviour, so I’d have to cut a bunch of people out of my life.  I was also very scared I was having a heart attack or psychotic break (but have been cleared by medical since then)

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? I was in GATE as a child and was made to practice Zener cards to develop my gifts.I thought that was a false memory / hokum until this event.  I have done a lot of research into the topic since my OBE.  I have since found my study/research notes and confirmed with my parents that I was in multiple neurology studies as a child.I now believe in the paranormal in a way I didn’t before.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       Yes    I began researching colour symbolism and started meditating / using tarot as a self reflection tool. On days when I meditate I often have a prophetic dream or feeling.  It’s like I was disconnected from reality before, but now I am tapped in and can understand or perceive things I couldn’t prior to the event.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes    Yes, I feel like they captured all aspects of my experience