Experience description:

My four-month old NDE started as a man, whom I will refer to as ‘Tracey,’ was carrying me downstairs into the basement of my grandma’s house. It is my opinion that my grandma most likely put me down for a nap and then decided to rest for a bit, as all caretakers and mothers do from time to time as their children sleep safely in their home. She had every right to feel safe in doing so. Tracey, whom we had every reason to trust, secretly and quietly took advantage of the situation.

I believe he entered the room I was sleeping in and took me without permission. He carried me easily down the stairs in my baby carrier and set me on some sort of table or counter. Then, a few minutes later, he let a big man I did not recognize into the basement through a back door. The big man removed me from the carrier and laid me on a flat surface.

Next thing I knew, I was out of my body and above him at ceiling height, looking down at how the big man continued to hurt me. I felt to be a young adult spirit and had 360 degree perception around me. I turned away and looked off to my left. Surrounding me was a see-through tunnel and far into the distance was a light. I knew it was the way to Heaven, so I decided to approach it. I took one last look at my infant body and knew I couldn’t return.

As I turned toward Heaven, I heard a soft angelic voice and felt a light touch on my shoulder. The word spoken directly to my mind by the voice was a gentle command. He simply said, 'Remember.' In lightning quick flashes of memory, I was shown my life’s work - both physical and spiritual, past and future, before Earth and on Earth - and was given an understanding of the importance of my mission. It was also revealed to me that these acts of malice would continue throughout my childhood, but I was to rise above them, break the chain of abuse and fulfill my mission.

Frightened, but determined to follow Heavenly Father’s plan for me, I started heading back to my body. But the alabaster-robed angel stopped me. He transferred a thought directive for me to wait for the man to be done before I returned. He also reassured me that there would be no lasting physical effects from the damage being done to my body.

I looked around and saw Tracey sitting in an armchair. He looked nervous and detached at the same time. I got the distinct impression that he was being coerced into facilitating this perpetration. Tracey looked like he just wanted it all to be over, but I felt no empathy or sorrow from him for what the big man was doing to me. He seemed more worried about getting caught and frustrated that they'd cornered him somehow.

When the big man finished and left, I journeyed back to my body, unaware of the experience until my subconscious revealed it many years later as an adult. Tracey never even looked at me as he put me in the carrier and took me back upstairs.

My seven year-old to teen NDEs were forced upon me when on one particular day I had made plans to go to my friend’s house after school. After the short walk to her home, we sat and drank lemonade in her kitchen. As we sipped our sweet, icy-cold drinks, my friend’s mom came in and said that my dad had just called. There was a family emergency, and I had to get home right away. I would come to understand later that it was not my dad who had called. But my friend’s mom had no way of knowing that; they’d never met.

Without a second thought, I set my beverage on the counter, thanked my friend’s mom and said goodbye. The walk home was pleasant. My young kindergarten mind did not comprehend the word ‘emergency,’ only that I needed to go home. As I walked along the sidewalk, hyper-aware of my surroundings, puffy clouds shimmered like sentinels in the azure sky; emerald leaves twinkled in the blossoming trees, and varied flowers - planted and wild - dotted the yards with their vibrant jewel tones. Everything around me seemed to shine with a lovely radiance as I experienced all of this in a déjà vu, slow-motion time warp.

As an adult, I'd perplexed family and friends because I never liked getting flowers. It was not just that flowers reminded me of springtime or even of this particular day, for untarnished flowers are fresh, beautiful and pure. It was simply that - though like all physical things, flowers eventually die - they die all the more quickly when ripped from their roots and taken indoors away from the sunlight, rain and earth. I preferred flowers in their natural setting. I especially loved wildflowers. As for dried flowers - they are brittle and lifeless, and the rancid smell of rotting cut-flowers is disgusting.

In the moment, I wanted to say, 'Please, flower-snatcher, don’t take me. I don’t want to die!' But it all happened so fast. Out of fear or instinct maybe, I seemed to have lost my voice. One second, I was walking along the sidewalk, on my way home, feeling the light breeze, smelling the freshness of springtime and enjoying my surroundings. And the next second, I was taken, by car, to a house in the neighborhood.

I experienced many NDEs when taken to this house, a ritual that went on for years, completely and wholly undetected. The first time I remember leaving my body in this manner, I could see the snatchers as my spirit rose up and out of my body. I turned my back to the men and rose up toward the ceiling, getting as far away from them and their nefarious efforts as I could.

I found myself once again, as I did at my four month NDE, in a see-through tunnel. And off in the distance, towards the light, was a male angel, guarding the way to Heaven like a celestial sentry. Though still possessing my free will, I could sense the message loud and clear - that was not what God wanted; he did not want me to come home; my mission was not yet complete. But I had no scope of understanding for my mission at this time. I would only piece it all together years later. At the time, I was just a child trying to survive. And though I wanted to be a good girl, I didn’t think I could take being hurt any longer. So I decided to go toward the light.

I was in Heaven. All was bright, in shades of iridescent white. I stood in some kind of processing area that resembled a large and open waiting room. Desks and chairs were organized neatly throughout. But something was wrong; there was no one there to greet me. To me, it felt as if all of Heaven was empty, abandoned even.

I was being sent a message. But before I could even consider my next move, two adult masculine angels, complete with formidable wings, were standing on either side of me. Their dress was shades of beige, like that of a Greek guard but with no armor or weapons. They stared forward and refused to look at me - like soldiers who’d hardened themselves because they'd been asked to carry out an order they knew was cruel.

And without a word, they lifted me up and escorted me out of Heaven. I literally felt the sensation of being thrown back to Earth, back to my body and the snatchers. Hurt and devastated, I heard the message loud and clear, 'You cannot forsake your purpose by seeking sanctuary.'

I’ve had no choice but to accept the tough love displayed to me that day; it was the ultimate rejection, though. I was an innocent child who needed help, and I was thrown out like trash. I just wanted to go to my heavenly home - to be safe, healed and protected. I’ve had to conclude that it was essential that I, in my seven-year-old mind, understood that Heaven wasn’t an option for me at that time, no matter how bad it got, no matter how many times their malevolent actions separated my spirit from my body. It was important that I knew there was no escape, at least not one God approved of anyway. It was like there was a Do Not Enter sign flashing above the way to Heaven. I never did, in my many NDEs, go back towards the light. I couldn’t handle the rebuff of being thrown out again.

And though a deeply scarring moment, it calloused me and gave me a strong determination to endure and persevere. Even at that young age, I wanted to be worthy to walk with Heavenly Father, to serve him and his will. I had to find the strength to tough it out, and through some miracle, that’s exactly what I did.

The snatchers real and acted upon threats - to harm family and friends, if I told - kept me silent, as did my subconscious’ ability to keep the abuse hidden from my daily life. It was easier for them to achieve such an ongoing perpetration than you might think. Life was different back then. My family had every reason to believe that I was safely playing in our neighborhood each time I was forced back to that house. A lot of damage can be done in a very short amount of time. And each time I returned home, all would be stored away and suppressed, waiting for a time when I was mature enough to process it. Fortunately, in today’s society we are slightly more educated about the evils of the world in regards to children. It’s a sad truth of Earth-life.

Finally, some years later, having returned to my body after another forced NDE episode, I awakened to find an angel standing next to me. I knew, immediately, that it was my maternal grandfather and was certain he’d healed me many times while at this house, for I never returned to my body with the previously sustained injuries intact. Grandfather had died when I was a toddler, yet I'd always loved the many wonderful stories my mom and sister would tell me about him, with his beautiful singing voice, his kind heart and his friendly demeanor. I truly felt as if I knew him. And I could feel his love, compassion and sorrow for me.

Suddenly, an incredible force of strength and indignation began to well up inside of Grandfather like a huge ball of light. And when it reached its full potential, he blasted the snatchers with such force that they were pinned against the wall. Then, Grandfather said, 'It is finished! If you ever come anywhere near my granddaughter again, God will punish you unto death.'

They fell to the ground unconscious, and I stood there dumbfounded, not knowing what to do. So my grandfather, very gently, guided me out and away from that house of ill repute and said, 'It’s time to go and never come back.' I was in shock, so Grandfather walked me most of the way home. Then, he was simply, gone.

Completely numb, I found myself on someone’s front lawn, not knowing how or why I was there. I sat and wept for a long time as the sprinklers hummed their way back and forth, spraying me; it was like healing rain. And as my tears blended with the beads of water on my face, I felt a cleansing peace fill my mind and spirit.

Eventually, I made it home. As soon as I walked through the front door, I forgot everything. Either buried in my subconscious or another of Heavenly Father’s veils, it saved me from those awful memories, for a time anyway.

I recovered these specific experiences and many others starting at age twenty-one. It would take me twenty-one years to fully piece together all that had happened to me. In the process, I learned to forgive so that I could move forward and have peace; I remembered parts of my life before Earth, and I even remembered my soulmate and was blessed to find him. I wrote my story in a book called, Thrown Out of Heaven. I freely share it with all who are interested in PDF format on lightprepare.com.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  I had many life-threatening experiences during the abuse and torture.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     It's like there aren't words or reference points in the English language to rightly describe the experience.

Nor is there a basis of normality in sharing these experiences

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?         As I entered Heaven

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I felt I could decipher any meaning if I just thought about it long enough.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I had 360 degree vision around me during the experience.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I could receive mind-talk or thought transference during the experience.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   I could clearly feel what my perpetrator, 'Tracy' was feeling and thinking during the experience but had no way to verify it.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   My emotions were tied to the abuse. I felt relief from evading my perpetrators. I felt confused as to what the purpose was.

I felt devastation when thrown back to Heaven. I felt understanding when the angel had me remember.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   Yes   It was a see-through tunnel with a light at one end that I knew was the way to Heaven.

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   In the see-through tunnel there was a light at one end that I knew was the way to Heaven.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I encountered an angel at my two described NDEs.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes   At 7 year-old NDE, I saw my maternal grandfather who died when I was a toddler.

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   Yes   At 4 month NDE, I remembered parts of my life before birth.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
At 7 year-old NDE, I entered a waiting room in Heaven.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Sometimes time felt sped up, sometimes slower and sometimes it lost all meaning.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about myself or others
When the angel told me to remember at 4 month NDE, I felt a deep and complete understanding of my life and mission.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Yes
I felt there to be a, 'Do Not Enter' sign to the way to Heaven at my 7 year-old NDE with an angel guard, trying to deter me to enter Heaven.

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
I was thrown back to Heaven. It was not my time to die.

Did scenes from the future come to you?  Scenes from my personal future 
I saw the perpetrations that would take place in the future at my 4 month NDE.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I was shown by the angel at my 4 month NDE that there was life before and after Earth.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I remembered God/Heavenly Father in my 4 month NDE.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   In my 4 month NDE, I remembered and was shown events that I/we existed before this lifetime.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   I felt greater understanding in my purpose.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Consistent: I believed in God and Heaven previously.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th   These NDE experience were graved upon my soul in a way that's impossible to forget. My memory, for the most part, in other areas is hit and miss.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   My religious beliefs have greatly broadened as has my spirituality.

The basis of my previous beliefs are still intact but the differences marginalize me,

and I feel I have nowhere to belong.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   I now believe in a more expansive before Earth-life existence.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   I am aware of the spirit realm because of my experiences.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     Reaching Heaven was meaningful. I can't even slightly doubt now.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  Being a child and recovering the memories as a young adult, I never shared my experience until I was in my early forties.

Familial reactions were uncomfortable as were most friends. My husband and some of his family believe me and that's been a blessing.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I never doubted the reality.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   It's like not believing you were a baby, or that you went to school, or that your parents are real. it happened. Period. End of story.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   Siblings and many friends are distant as a result.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I am much more liberal and expansive in my religious and spiritual beliefs.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No     

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   As much as is possible in this format.