Experience description:

I came upon this beautiful place, very grassy, amazing flowers, big cool, shady tree. Under the tree was a man sitting on a low white bench -- like white stone. Without walking, I was suddenly right in front of him. He was beautiful -- white robes, dark flowing hair and beard, light everywhere. Beautiful, peaceful look on his face. I asked him if he was Jesus. He smiled and said 'No, I'm who they were thinking of when they created Jesus'. We didn't actually speak in voices -- it was all in our heads. He somehow let me know that he was appearing in a way that I was familiar with from childhood, and it would make me feel safe and comfortable. I call him 'he', but I know with certainty that he was not actually male or female. And I also felt that he might have originated from elsewhere in the universe and be unbelievably ancient. He wondered why I was there. I told him that I had to fly to the US to see my family but I was very afraid of the plane crashing. I didn't want to die because I had 2 sons that I loved. And I told him that I wanted to know which religion I should be -- should I be a Christian or a Jew or a Muslim or Hindu or Buddhist or any of the others. I asked which was right. Although I had been agnostic and/or an atheist all my adult life, there was no point talking about that as I knew when I saw him that god exists. He smiled again and told me that religions were created by humans, and I was free to pick whatever made me happy -- or pick nothing at all. He said that it made no difference at all when I make the transition from the human world. He told me that death is only a transition, like blinking your eyes. He expressed warmth and love toward me and I understood that he would be with me -- always. Then he asked if I had any questions, and we spent what felt like years with me asking questions and him answering. Talking with him was a delight. Again, no actual words, just thoughts. Then I was done asking questions and he reached out and touched me. The most incredible feeling of love and peace and happiness and even ecstasy permeated my being. It felt like my heart would explode. I had never felt anything like that before. Other than recalling the feeling, I have never felt anything like it since. I didn't cry at the time, but I'm crying right now at the memory of it. I laid in my bed with that amazing feeling and my eyes wide open until the room got light (about 4:30am in Brisbane in the summer). The feeling slowly dissipated and I felt the loss keenly but still had the happy vestiges remaining. I have not been afraid of death since that time, and I have decided against following any type of formal religious doctrine because...why do that? It isn't necessary. God is light and love and these human-based religions don't matter. I told my husband when he woke up and he made fun of me, so I didn't tell anyone else. I've probably told a handful of people in the intervening years. A couple years ago, I started reading and listening to stories of NDEs, but because I had not been near death when I had my experience, I couldn't quite figure out where my story fit in the grand scheme of things. What I experienced sure seemed to share a few common parts, but again, no near death. And you know -- after the experience, I could never recall the questions I asked him or the answers he gave me. I have felt that I wasn't supposed to bring the answers back to my human existence. Oh well!

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?      No     

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Yes    The feelings involved when the being touched me -- no words can truly capture the experience

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No     

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?    I felt conscious and alert. I have never felt it was a dream.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  No, not like a dream at all. I cannot recall dreams beyond a couple or few nights. I can recall this experience almost a quarter of a century later, and I can still feel the incredible emotions.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   No     

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          When he touched me -- peace, love, happiness, ecstasy -- like my heart couldn't contain the happiness and it was going to explode.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?         No

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?         No     

Did you see a light?        Yes    The being (god??) was imbued with soft but bright light. No light source. It was shady under the tree, but I couldn't see the sum.

Did you meet or see any other beings?         Yes    I did not know him -- he came to me like the Jesus of my Protestant childhood with light flowing robes and dark brown flowing hair and beard. He let me know he was appearing that way so that I wouldn't be afraid.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?         No     

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No     

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different? Yes    Well, I could see amazing colors and hear (in my head) his voice. I felt his touch. Not sure about taste or smell.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes          When I could ask questions and he answered, it seemed to go on for years.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         Yes    As I said , I could ask any questions I wanted and he answered them all -- but I neither remember what I asked (I have a vague sense) nor do I remember what he answered!

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?           No     

Did you become aware of future events?      Uncertain          I'm uncertain only because I couldn't remember what I asked or what he answered.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?          No      Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No     

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?     Yes    Belief in God everywhere in all things. No more fear of death. What a relief!

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?   It was after that that I decided to concentrate on permaculture and organic growing rather than computer science. I felt my calling was the natural world. Hadn't felt that before. I feel so much love for everyone now, not perfectly by ANY means (and the covid debacle has really made me cranky). I'm more patient now and much more dedicated to people and the natural world. Permaculture ethics: care of the earth, care of people, fair share. I feel more acceptance of the things in life. Although I'm keen to feel that ecstacy again, I don't wish to shorten my life just in order to feel it.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes    Only in ways already mentioned.

Have you shared this experience with others?       Yes          My ex-husband made fun of me. Another friend disparaged me and called it nothing but a dream. A couple others have been a bit more accepting.

What emotions did you experience following your experience? Sadness that I couldn't be honest with other people about the non-human realm, but overall just joy that I was allowed to experience it. I mean...WOW!

What was the best and worst part of your experience?          Best -- the feeling of peace and love when he touched me. Nothing like that in the human world.Worst -- there was no part of the actual experience that was bad, but it is sad that I don't feel I can talk about it. Other people may get comfort from my experience. That reluctance to speak is slowly changing.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? Nothing.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No     

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes    I didn't leave anything out, and the questions were great prompts and helped me articulate the experience.