Experience description:

I was in excruciating pain for 2 years from 1974 to 1976. My doctor said the pain was real but there was no cause for it. He concluded that it was all in my head. I had gone to the emergency clinic but they just gave me pain medication and sent me home.

This time in emergency, I said, 'You have to send me to a surgeon. I can't stand the pain anymore.' An appointment was made for the surgeon. But the pain was too great, so the surgeon agreed to do an emergency exploratory surgery. They found the bile duct blocked and infection of the pancreas. I needed a drainage tube and was put in intensive care. The surgeon thought there was enough fight in me that I might live despite being close to death. They have me pain medication that made me hallucinate and swing through the room. On the fourth night, I asked not to be given the pain pills even though I was in excruciating pain. I wanted to pray and I could not do that with the pain medication in my system. The nurse argued, but agreed and left quietly.

I prayed that God would heal me so I could live to raise my three small children. I heard a voice from an invisible presence say, 'You cannot live if you only wish to raise your children. You have more to accomplish.' I found myself in the past. I was back in the Netherlands sitting in the kitchen.  My father had just come come from an interview with the high school principal and teacher. With your brains and your talents you can become whatever you want to become, even a doctor or a lawyer the principal had said. Then the presence said. 'And what have you done with your talents and brains?' 'My father did not allow me to go to university,' I responded. 'Your father no longer lives. What excuse do you have now? What can I do now?,' I asked, 'Isn't it my job to be a good wife and mother?' The presence said, 'You cannot live if you merely want to live to raise your children.' I was brought back to a time in high school when the teacher returned back an essay graded with a 10, the highest mark possible. 'If I promise to write then can I live? Then I will promise to write.' Suddenly my pain left me and the high fevers were gone. A power had healed me instantly. The next morning the nurse came in and asked, 'What has happened? Has a miracle happened?' The surgeon asked the same question. 'I believe so.' I answered.

I recovered quicker than the doctor expected. I had a drainage tube in me but was allowed to go home soon afterwards.  I was put on a bland diet. I was told it would take 6 months to recover, but I was out gardening again in a few weeks. I feared that presence and thought I had to write in order to stay alive. I did not know what to write at first. I prayed but received no answers. A year later, in August of 1977, I was told by a presence to pray for someone famous as be was deeply troubled. This person needed to become a new kind of leader. I did not want to pray for this person as I did not love him and I was not a fan of his.  Instantly, I went to another time in a past life where I knew and loved this man more than I loved anyone, even my children. 'Can you pray for him now?' the presence asked. I replied, 'Yes because I know and love him now.' God said he would be a new kind of leader with great understanding. 3 days later, I heard on the evening news that he had died. I felt hot and then cold. How could the presence have asked me to pray for him when he was going to die? I prayed for his soul everyday for 2 years. I was afraid that if I did not write, I would die also. I wrote a novel about my spiritual growth. I learned new things through reading books that this man I was told to pray for was also on a spiritual growth quest before he died. I was inspired by his gospel music that I now learned he had recorded and read some books that he had read, like the Life and Teachings of the Masters of the far East. I wrote a novel about how he inspired me and how my experience in the hospital had inspired me to write about my spiritual learning, what I had discovered, and how I had grown from it. I wrote and rewrote this book many times last trying to get it published when I was age 82. No literary agent I sent it to was interested. I felt compelled to write this novel and often thought that if I do not do this, then my life would end. I wanted to keep my promise to god.

My daughter Lynda P writes this out now from a journal that I have written. I had a stroke at age 86 and was in a wheelchair for 4 years.  Then I had a stronger stroke and was in bed for 3 years.  I crossed over at age 93 1 months and 11 day on August 6, 2022.

I, as her daughter always felt this was a compelling story. She shared it to some people but was sometimes hurt by their reaction; especially when she was asked, 'why are you so special?' So she did not often share it. My mom sometimes wondered whether it was symbolic that she had to write a new addition to her book of life. She believed in reincarnation and maybe had to learn to write in this life to continue her talents in another life. Or maybe  people learned through the plasticity of her learning as sent on the etheric waves as she was thinking, writing, and praying about it.

I hope to put out some of her work on a you tube channel and it will be up to spirit to find an audience for it. Thanks for listening.

I like reading the stories shared on this site. I was on a quest to find out where my mom was going after death, so I read all the near death experiences on this site (nderf.org) and found channeling videos of the afterlife on sites such as  Youtube.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Yes  Surgery and in intensive care for 3 days

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No    

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?      In the flashbacks to other periods in my life

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   clear and memorable

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Really memorable

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   clear and memorable

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   I heard a presence and was brought back in time

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   rebellion at the voice, fear of dying and not being able to raise my children  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I heard a voice I could not identify
A presence asked me questions and told me things

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   Yes   Brought back to scenes of my youth

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   I was brought back to a past life where I loved someone I did not know in this life.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?      

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Uncertain   I had to write.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   knew I had to write

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Did not know god talked to people in an audible voice.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   Remembered clearly for rest of life

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I searched for who and what god was after the experience

My experience directly resulted in:   Moderate changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   belief I could not live unless I wrote

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   saw visions, felt the kundalini rise in spine

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     The presence talking, the past experience shown to me . the directive to write

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  a few days

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   read Raymond Moody books

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   vlear memorable and compelling

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   remembered clearly always

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   I shared with people who accepted but not those who did not   Uncertain

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?      

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Yes   The presence talked to me one more time in a family room to pray for another

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   It was real and affected my life but was not a review of life

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes