Experience description:

I was due to have six teeth removed (no idea why at six years old), and I remember the mask being placed on my face and the smell of the gas. I was then aware of being surrounded by grey and I could see stars and galaxies. I was travelling very fast amongst them and I was huge - as if I was actually part of it. There was a sound, like music but different, it was more of a feeling that I could hear. It was like signals with various pitches but was so beautiful. I felt absolute and total love and so safe. I did not want to leave. I really, really did not want to leave. It felt just as it should be and as if I was experiencing myself; as I recalled I was not separate from any of this, it was it. It remained grey and it seemed as I was there for a very long time, floating but part of it. I think I heard my name called from a long long way away and I remember opening my eyes.

I felt I had been gone for days and seemed to recall only mentioning this. The dentist said it had only been a few minutes and no other talk was allowed. I went home and was put to bed where I slept and I remember trying to return to that grey space. I did not say anything to may parents or friends, and I felt as I was not allowed to speak about it. I thought this was happened to everyone when I went to the dentist so never tried to discuss it but for years (at least until the age of 10 or 11 when I returned to dentist to have more teeth removed before orthodontic work) I tried every day to recapture the feeling. I was bitterly disappointed when I did not go back.

After the experience I changed. I seemed to sense more, and I was more frustrated by being in the 'normal' world - I even became spiteful because I was angry. I connected with my dog in a dream which was very lucid (he had been given away by my parents when I was five), and I just seemed to see things differently from people. I developed an interest in everything - apart from school (despite loving it up until that point), and wanted to know everything I could and wanted to constantly learn. I was drawn to stories of pain and suffering and darkness and wanted to understand how people felt. I was fiercely interested in poetry and the unusual (what I would now know to be the metaphysical) and I developed an unusual ability to hear extremely well. I could feel people's pain very easily which made things difficult.

After my second visit for dental surgery when I did not return I became very sad - I still had no idea what the first experience was. As I grew older I experimented with drugs (narcotics, mushrooms, and LSD to try and recapture the feeling). Nothing worked.

As a teenager I was tired of not being able to return and for a while adopted a mantle of 'normality'; hanging out with friends, being just so at school, usual teenage stuff. Once I had gone through that I put everything to one side and focussed on my career (health and safety, and then my businesses (helicopter aviation followed by interior design), and then being a respectable wife and member of the society. But there was always a veneer that covered the real me.

Since then I have had several other unusual experiences such as two OBEs, one spontaneous healing of pneumonia, two loss of consciousnesses where I have felt pain leave, and total darkness, and for the pain to return suddenly when thinking I need to go back.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Uncertain  Nothing was discussed and there was a very definite silence about my visit to the dentist so I am unsure what happened.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     First I was not permitted, and secondly there are no words that can describe it that I have ever found, or heard.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?      During the time amongst the stars.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I was fully aware of everything but had no sense of being apart from it.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Everything was grey and I was aware of feeling things rather than seeing them.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Very aware of the music type sounds / signals I could here.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Extreme bliss, and wonder.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   No


Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   Uncertain   I was aware of everything all at once. There was no past or future.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
As if I was in space amongst stars and galaxies.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I had no sense of time, except when I woke up and I felt I had been away for a long time.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe
I was aware of everything but still wanted to know everything, even though I already knew it. Almost like a need for clarification.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Just a knowledge. Not a belief but an absolute certainty.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Uncertain   I felt as if I understood more, but I can describe it.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I was totally connected to the universe I was in.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Uncertain   I was aware that there is a purpose but could not explain.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   An awareness of absolute love being absolutely everything.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   Yes, but again I cannot describe why or how.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I had not beliefs as I was only six and had led a sheltered life. But I do believe I have always been inherently spiritually aware since a very young age.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.   It is pretty much the only thing I can remember from that time.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I have Asperger's syndrome (diagnosed when I was 40). At the age of six I stopped believing God as I came to know God, and there was no doubt of its existence. I also developed unusual philosophies, for example I began to strongly feel that every single thing that has lived, from a blade of grass, and tiniest organism, to the most powerful human king where just part of one entity experience life through every single possible facet. Every aspect of every life would continue all at the same time and would be experienced in entirety, meaning that every consciousness would experience every single existence, and this would continue until every single life had been experienced by each and every other life. I have pondered this for a long time (since age six) and my view has not changed. I have wondered if it relates to just this universe or if others. I also wondered if this universe in not some individual sentient being and the other universes are other beings have their experience.

I also felt that at the very centre of our own atoms, the ones in our bodies and in all matter, contain their own tiny universes, and that we are the nucleus of an atom.

This type of stuff has messed with my head for many years (even when completely sober!).

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   Yes, I stopped believing God as there was only knowledge and no need for doubt.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Uncertain   Have always been very sensitive. Have to turn it off sometimes.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     The feeling of being loved.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  30 years. I told my husband but only very vague terms as he is very cynical of such things.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   Although I thought it was something that happened after the dentist there was part of me that knew it was not imagination.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   It was as real as anything I have experienced.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I became less willing to please people, but conversely felt it more important to try to do so as I did not want to be rejected.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Yes   Sometimes I will have little flashbacks of the sound or the feeling.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   No thank you.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   I have thought about this alot, but have never written any detailed info about it.