Experience description:

Heaven's Stairs - My Experience at Twelve

My name is Edwin W. I was approximately twelve years old when I had an experience that has remained extraordinarily vivid throughout my life. Many years later, as an adult, I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

This was not something I experienced during a known medical emergency. I experienced myself leaving my body and beginning an incredible journey upward.

I went through the ceiling, then upward through the sky and clouds. I continued beyond them into space. As I traveled, it seemed that I passed through different dimensions. Eventually I entered something like a tunnel that carried me an enormous distance. Although the distance seemed almost impossible to comprehend, I reached my destination incredibly quickly.

What I experienced next was Heaven.

I found myself standing on an upper floor overlooking another level below. There were beautiful pillars and a roof or structure around me. To my right was something I can best describe as catacombs filled with angels.

The light coming from where the angels were was so intensely and brilliantly white that I couldn't actually see the angels themselves. But I could hear them. They were singing.

Their singing seemed connected directly to my emotions in a way that is extremely difficult to describe.

Behind and below me was what appeared to be the vastness of outer space. On the level below was an enormously large round table. Upon it rested an equally enormous book. The book had what looked like thick, rope-like markers or book stoppers hanging from it.

There was a man at the table preparing the book.

Then beautiful, enormously tall doors opened, and Jesus came through them.

Jesus approached the man, and together they began going through the enormous book.

As they searched through it, the angels' singing changed. Their voices became quieter and more subdued. Somehow, without anyone having to explain it to me, I felt that the Lord was searching the Book of Life for my name.

Then He found it.

At that moment everything changed.

The angels' singing erupted upward into an indescribable sound of happiness and rejoicing. Their voices reached a peak of such greatness that even today I struggle to find words capable of describing it.

Jesus looked toward me. He smiled. There was a gleam of light from His eye, and the angels erupted again in joyful music.

I remember wondering what was behind those magnificent doors. Part of me wished that I could have looked through them. I wished I could have gone down to that enormous table and met Jesus Himself.

But then it was time for me to return.

My return followed the journey back toward my body, but it happened much faster than my journey to Heaven. I traveled back through what had seemed like those tremendous distances, through the dimensions, through space, back through the sky and finally through the ceiling toward my body.

And then something happened that makes this experience particularly important to me.

My mother was there.

As I experienced myself returning to my body, my physical body bounced upward from the bed. My mother witnessed the movement. I remember becoming awake before coming back down onto the bed.

I have carried this experience with me for decades.

I understand that people may interpret an experience like mine in different ways - spiritually, psychologically, neurologically or otherwise. I can only tell people honestly what I experienced and what I remember.

For me, it was Heaven.

Learning later in life that I am autistic has also made me wonder how many other autistic children and adults have experienced something profound like this but have been afraid to tell anyone because they thought nobody would understand them or believe them.

That is one reason I am finally sharing my story.

If another autistic person - or anyone else - has experienced something similar, I want them to know one thing: You are not alone.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes Parts of the experience, especially the angels' singing, the light, the distances traveled, and the emotions, are extremely difficult to put into words.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience? I felt conscious and aware throughout the experience, and I retain vivid details of it decades later.

Was the experience dream like in any way? No. Although it occurred during sleep, it did not feel like a normal dream to me.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes I experienced myself leaving my body, traveling upward through the ceiling, sky, clouds, space, dimensions and a tunnel, and later returning to my body.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Awe, wonder, anticipation and overwhelming joy. The angels' singing seemed directly connected to my emotions.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? I heard angels singing. Their tone became subdued while Jesus searched the Book of Life and erupted into joyful, powerful music when I felt He found my name.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION: Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures? Yes I recognized the destination as Heaven. I stood on an upper level with pillars and tall beautiful doors. To my right were catacomb-like structures filled with angels; below was a massive round table holding a massive book, with space visible behind and below.

Did you see a light? Yes There was an intensely brilliant, blinding white light around the angels. I also saw a gleam of light from Jesus' eye when He looked toward me and smiled.

Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes I saw Jesus and another man who was preparing and going through the massive Book of Life with Him. I could not visually make out the angels because of the brilliant white light, but I clearly heard them singing.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Yes At the end of the experience, as I experienced returning to my body, my mother was present and witnessed my physical body bounce upward from the bed. I remember becoming awake before coming back down onto the bed.

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different? Yes The light was extraordinarily intense, and the angels' singing seemed directly connected to my emotions in a way ordinary sound is not.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes I experienced traveling an enormous distance through the sky, clouds, space, what seemed like different dimensions, and a tunnel, yet I arrived extremely quickly. My return seemed much faster than the journey there.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes Without anyone explaining it to me, I felt that Jesus was searching the Book of Life for my name, and I knew when He had found it.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes There were magnificent tall doors behind Jesus. I wondered what was beyond them and wished I could look through them or go down to meet Jesus, but I did not pass through them.

Did you become aware of future events? No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body? No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes It strengthened the belief in God and Jesus that I already had. I had always felt that God was with me and that Jesus walked with me.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices? The experience strengthened my faith and has remained one of the most important memories of my life. I still think about what was beyond the tall doors and about Jesus looking toward me and smiling. Later experiences that I interpret as supernatural have sometimes frightened me.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes The experience strengthened my lifelong faith in God and Jesus and has stayed vividly with me throughout my life.

Have you shared this experience with others? Yes Yes. I have shared the experience with people close to me and am sharing it publicly now in the hope that other people, particularly autistic people, will know they are not alone.

What emotions did you experience following your experience? Awe, reassurance, curiosity, and a stronger faith. I continued wondering what was behind the doors and wishing I could have met Jesus directly.

What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best part was Jesus finding my name, looking toward me and smiling as the angels erupted into joyful singing. The hardest part was leaving without seeing what was behind the doors or going down to meet Jesus directly.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder later in life. I am sharing this because I have wondered how many autistic children or adults have experienced something profound like this and have been afraid to tell anyone. My mother witnessed the physical movement of my body at the moment I experienced returning.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes