Experience description:

While driving

My experience is not a near death experience per say. It does have elements that are very similar to what the people who had a NDE report. But I was nowhere near death or in any danger of dying. Everything was going quite well actually. I was driving my car on the highway and just about to take a wide curve to the right when it happened.

The whole experience lasted a fraction of a second in this dimension. It couldn’t have taken more than that or else I guess I would have gone off the road and I didn’t feel any discontinuity in my driving. What happened to me during that blink of an eye is something I cannot explain and that has taken me nine years to assimilate. I have never talked about this experience to anyone yet and this is the first time I write about it. I’ll try to explain why later.

So I was driving my car on the highway with my wife to my side and our kids in the back. Suddenly, I saw or perceived something passing quickly in my peripheral vision on the far left. I then heard clearly a voice in my head saying 'tout est comme il se doit’’ witch is French for 'everything is as it should be’’. At the same moment I felt light and free as if a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. I realized immediately that this huge weight was totally useless stuff that I was carrying around for no valid reason. I was embarrassed because I felt that I had been fooled into believing that life on earth and all that 'imaginary’’ stuff is reality.

I clearly felt that there was absolutely no judging. Even though I felt embarrassed, I realized that there was no reason to be. I felt something I can’t describe. The closest I can come to it is to say that it was the opposite of judgment more than just the absence of it. Judgement just doesn’t seem to exist in that dimension.

Even though everything happened at the same time, there was a sequence in my experience. Except for the voice I heard at the very start, I didn’t see or hear anything. I don’t know how to describe this but I felt or I realized and also, I think, remembered things that I knew already but had forgotten.

The second element in my experience is the realization that everything makes sense; you, me, the universe. There is a meaning to all of this.

After that, I realized or remembered that everything is linked. We are all linked to one another and to everything around us. And we’re all linked to what I could call the 'source’’ from which we all originate.

Those three elements: Everything is as it should be, everything makes sense and everything is linked, were very clear and evident. It was all so obvious and simple. I understood it in a flash. I don’t remember thinking 'of course’’ but that is how it felt. I know that at that moment, if there is such a thing as a moment in the dimension I was in, it was clear to me that that was reality. It couldn’t be more real than that. I know from that experience that I am more myself on that other dimension than I am here. I know that I know a lot of things on that other dimension even if I can’t remember for now what it is I know. This other dimension is vast and profound to a point that it cannot even be imagined and expressed in human terms. Our language is inadequate to really explain anything about that dimension.

I can’t understand any more why everything was so obvious and simple but I can remember the feeling of complete acceptance without any judgment and of total serenity that I felt there. I remember the intensity, the depth and how real it was. I just don’t have the words to describe that reality.

The fourth and last element of my experience is a very strong feeling of coming home. I just know that I was home. There is no two way about it. You just can’t have that feeling if you enter the neighbors house. It only happens when you are truly home, were you grew up and have all those good memories. It is a profound and unmistakable feeling.

Then, suddenly, the window closed. I was back to driving my car even though I had never left and no time had passed in our human dimension. It felt like my world shrank down to a very limited dimension. As soon as, in this dimension, I realized and started to intellectualize what had happened, it disappeared. I was back in a thick cloud after having floated above it and having been exposed to the universe. So I kept on driving like nothing happened. I just thought to myself 'well that was something interesting’’. I didn’t feel startled or surprised. Even though it’s not an experience that happens every day and that it is way outside of anything I ever taught was possible, it was not a strange experience. It was in fact the exact opposite. It felt very, very familiar. It felt more familiar actually than this human dimension will ever feel.

This description of my experience is of course limited by the constraint of my human condition. There is, I’m sure, a lot more that I can neither describe nor remember. I feels like I went to see a movie in ultra hi definition, in a Imax theater and In 3D and all I have to show you to explain what was that experiences is a tiny and fuzzy black and white picture. Now I’m showing you that pictures and telling you 'See, that’s what happened’’. Not very convincing, I’m afraid, to most people.

Maybe that’s one of the reason it took me nine years to assimilate the experience. I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t 'lived’’ it. I’ve always been very skeptical about anything related to paranormal, new age or even spiritual stuff. So, what do I do now with that experience I just had? Nothing.  I guess I put it away in the section 'unexplained and explainable’’ of my brain and mostly forgot about it. I just didn’t want to be that person that hears voices and that I would probably have pitied myself in the past. I can’t tell my wife who is an engineer and probably more materialistic than I was. I can’t tell anyone so I don’t.

Maybe one day I will tell my wife and our kids. Writing down my experience is helping me, I think, to find a way to come to grasp with it and find answers to my two biggest questions:

- Why giving me the message that everything’s fine. I would understand if the message was ' A deer will cross the road just in front of you in 1 km, watch out’’ but just giving me thumbs up doesn’t make sense to me, for the moment anyway.

- Why did it happen at that precise moment?

I have hypothesis for answers to both questions but I would really like to hear or read from people who know more than me or had a similar experience.

Thank you for reading this account of my experience and please forgive my poor English.

D.B.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     This other dimension I was in is vast and profound to a point that it cannot even be imagined and expressed in human terms. Our language is inadequate to really explain anything about that dimension.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?         During all the experience

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I understood, or remembered, immediately that everything is as it should be, it all makes sense and everything is linked. It was all so simple and obvious.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Except for the voice I heard at the very start, I didn’t see or hear anything. I don’t know how to describe this but I felt or I realized and also, I think, remembered things that I knew already but had forgotten.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Except for the voice I heard at the very start, I didn’t hear anything.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   I felt unbelievable serenity, unconditional acceptance and love and a very strong feeling of coming home.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I heard a voice I could not identify
I saw or perceived something passing quickly in my peripheral vision on the far left. I then heard clearly a voice in my head saying 'tout est comme il se doit’’ witch is French for 'everything is as it should be’’

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
The whole experience lasted a fraction of a second in this dimension. It couldn’t have taken more than that or else I guess I would have gone off the road and I didn’t feel any discontinuity in my driving. Even though everything happened at the same time, there was a sequence in my experience. When it ended, it was like the window closed. I was back to driving my car even though I had never left and no time had passed in our human dimension.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe
It were very clear and evident that everything is as it should be, everything makes sense and everything is linked. It was all so obvious and simple. I understood it in a flash. I don’t remember thinking 'of course’’ but that is how it felt. I know that at that moment, if there is such a thing as a moment in the dimension I was in, it was clear to me that that was reality. It couldn’t be more real than that.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I understood that life as we know it is not real and that there is something more real than physical life. I guess I realised from that that we are not bound by our physical body.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I realized or remembered that everything is linked. We are all linked to one another and to everything around us. And we’re all linked to what I could call the 'source’’ from which we all originate. I didn't feel it as god or a being.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   I clearly felt I was back home where I grew up and I guess that was prior to this lifetime.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I realized or remembered that everything is linked. We are all linked to one another and to everything around us. And we’re all linked to what I could call the 'source' from which we all originate.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Yes   I understood clearly that everything makes sense; you, me, the universe. There is a meaning to all of this. It was very clear and so simple. I can’t understand any more why everything was so obvious and simple. I remember the intensity, the depth and how real it was. I just don’t have the words to describe that reality and the human mind is probably not able to grasp it anyway.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   I felt unconditional love through the total absence of judgment.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   I didn't feel there was a particular purpose that I should accomplish but I did have a sense of knowing far more. I know from that experience that I am more myself on that other dimension than I am here. I know that I know a lot of things on that other dimension even if I can’t remember for now what it is I know. This other dimension is vast and profound to a point that it cannot even be imagined and expressed in human terms. Our language is inadequate to really explain anything about that dimension.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   It took me nine years to assimilate the experience. I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t 'lived’’ it. I’ve always been very skeptical about anything related to paranormal, new age or even spiritual stuff. So, what do I do now with that experience I just had? Nothing.  I guess I put it away in the section 'unexplained and unexplainable’’ of my brain and mostly forgot about it. I just didn’t want to be that person that hears voices and that I would probably have pitied myself in the past.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th   I mostly forgot about it for nine years. In the summer of 2018, I red a novel in which they were referring to near death experiences. I then remembered the book from Raymond Moody I red when I was in college. That led me to search the Internet for more recent NDE accounts. It then came back to me when I red accounts that had elements that were similar to the ones I experienced. It didn't feel like I was suddenly remembering my experience. It felt like I always knew it but I'm sure it was buried deep for a long time. When I thought about my experience in that summer of 2018, recalling the sequence of elements, I could still feel partially what I had felt almost nine years earlier. A few months later, I still remember clearly what happened but I don't feel it as much. Is it my human mind trying to turn the experience into a story without feelings so that it can be put in doubt? I know it happened but I would like to be able to feel what it felt like.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I've been on sick leave for seven month in 2018 due to anxiety and  panic attacks I began to have, for the first time in my life, in January of that year. After the memory of the experience of 2009 came back to me in the summer of 2018 I researched the subject of NDE with more interest. This led me to the book ''the power of now'' by Eckhart Tolle. I am now beginning to feel better as I begin to be more in the present moment than in my mind. The changes are coming gradually and even thought I can't ''feel''  my experience as much as I use to, I know that this dimension I am in right now is not real and I really don't fear death anymore because I know it doesn't exist.

My experience directly resulted in:   Moderate changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Yes   I know death is not real so I don't fear it anymore. I do feel more empathy for others and I don't feel the need to judge or to be right as much as I used to. I let go of many things that I now realized aren't important.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     The fact that it was more real than this dimension will ever be and the incredible, profound and unmistakable feeling of coming home. I just know I was home.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   No 

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   I had red Raymond Moody's book when in college and that's about all.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I know it was real when it happened but I didn't research about it in the following days or weeks. I feel like my mind had already obscured the experience and locked it up somewhere in my memory.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I know it is real. More real than this dimension will ever be even if the feeling of the experience is not as strong at it use to be.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I'm not more 'religious' than I use to be. However, I'm feeling a spiritual awakening. Just fragments actually but enough to know that it points to the same direction as the experience I had. The idea that I would have a spiritual anything is not something I was foreseeing at all. I use to be very skeptical about anything related to paranormal, new age or even spiritual stuff.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Yes   It happened when my oldest kid was a baby. At home one evening, my son was sleeping in his crib in his room and I was sitting in the living room. From where I was, and because his bedroom door was half open, I could hear him clearly. He started to wake up and cry. I didn't get up immediately, hoping he would fall asleep by himself. I then clearly heard, coming from the bedroom, a very soft and reassuring voice saying the name of my son. The voice sounded like my wife's voice. My son stopped crying immediately, fell asleep and didn't wake up until the next morning if I remember well. My wife was asleep when it happened. It didn't strange or startling. I got up, went to my son's bedroom and thanked whoever or whatever was there for looking after my son. I didn't know what to make out of that but it felt very natural and soothing.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   I still don't know what to do with this experience. My two biggest questions are:

- Why giving me the message that everything’s fine. I would understand if the message was 'A deer will cross the road just in front of you in 1 km, watch out' but just giving me thumbs up doesn’t make sense to me, for the moment anyway.

- Why did it happen at that precise moment?

I have hypothesis for answers to both questions but I would really like to hear or read from people who know more than me or had a similar experience.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   I do believe it covered it all.