Catherine CP Experience
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Experience description:

My mother had terminal cancer from the summer of 2019 to the fall of 2021.  It was a particularly traumatic cancer of her mouth and face.  She had two surgeries to remove the cancer cells, which were extremely invasive (they in fact had to build a new jaw for her, using a bone from one of her legs).  It was incredibly stressful and depressing, as the treatments weren't working, and the cancer kept coming back.  It was honestly one of the saddest times of my life, as there was so little I could do to make things better for her.  Even the surgeon was so incredibly sorry for not being able to heal her.  It was a very emotional time all around.

I've always been a believer-leaning agnostic.  My mother was Catholic and tried to get me involved in the church as well, but my heart has always felt that there is an answer to creation, but that it is not an answer that I am able to know personally during this life.  I pass no judgement on others who believe or don't believe.  We are all on our own path and I feel that we each come to different understandings, and that is totally ok.

During the fall of 2021, weeks before my mother's death, there was a power outage at her house for several days, and she came to stay with my husband and me (and our sweet and friendly cat) at our apartment.  Her moving from her house was a terrible disruption for her, as all of her medical care was being done at home (she was in hospice care, but staying in her own home for almost the entirety of her illness).  We did the best we could; we gave her the main bedroom, my husband stayed in the guest room, and I took the couch.  Not a problem, it was the best possible solution for all.

My mother stayed over for a total of three days and two nights.  Things we tense and stressful, but we were all just doing the best we could at the time.

On the second night, I was sleeping on the couch, sleeping on my side as I almost always do.  At a certain point I realized I was floating above my body.  I was on the ceiling, looking down at myself sleeping on the sofa.  I could see the position I was sleeping in and the pajamas that I was wearing.  I felt neither blissful nor non-blissful; I just felt like, wow, this is so strange and interesting, I wonder how this is happening?  I looked normal and peaceful, and I felt peaceful.

I don't know exactly how long the OBE lasted.  It ended when my mother woke up and came out of the bedroom, which woke me.  I could feel myself returning to my body; it felt like I was falling back into my body from a great height, at a really fast speed.  I took in a huge breath in as I reentered my body.  That was when I woke up.

I didn't know what to make of the experience, except that I feel it had to do with the proximity of death and dying.  I felt like a veil was lifted and that I was seeing things in a way I did not know was possible.

I would like to add: My whole life, I've had dreams where I was floating on the ceiling while facing up at the ceiling.  I dream that very often, several times a month.  However, this was the first and only OBE where I was facing down, seeing myself, and feeling that I was not just physically floating, but rather truly outside of my body.

I had so little time to process my feelings about this and truly examine it until recently; the events of my mother's passing came during a four-year period where my husband and I lost literally all four of our parents (three to cancer, one to covid pneumonia).  I find myself crying a lot now that we're past the immediate physicality of so many deaths.  It has been a lot to process.

I genuinely feel like my OBE was a gift, and that it connected me to the universe in some way that I didn't understand.  I still don't understand it exactly, but I deeply value the experience.

I've been very sick recently, and while I have not had another OBE, I have felt the presence of my loved ones in my day-to-day life.  I've even said to them, 'If you can hear me, I pray you are somewhere beautiful and happy, and I want to see you all again more than anything, just not quite yet.'

 Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?      No     

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Yes    It was surreal, and a bit hard to explain to others without them thinking I was delusional.

 At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes    Yes, but it was not my life-threatening event, it was my mother's.  I was in close proximity to her (emotionally and physically) while she was slowly dying from a particularly traumatic cancer (cancer of the mouth and face).

 What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?    I was sound asleep.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  It was similar to dreams I regularly experience (where I feel like I'm physically floating on the ceiling while looking up at the ceiling).  However, it was unlike all other dreams in that I felt spiritually, but not physically, outside of my body, and where I was specifically looking down at my body, not looking upwards.

 Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   Yes    Specifically, I felt that my mind was seeing my body from outside of myself.  Not like my whole physical body was moving/floating as I normally have in dreams.

 What emotions did you feel during the experience?         I felt normal and curious during my OBE.  I felt neither blissful nor non-blissful, though I felt at peace.  It has been in the months since it happened that I have really examined how I felt.

 Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?         No sounds or noises.

 LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?         Yes    I saw the location I was physically in (my living room at home).  I didn't see any other places during the OBE, and no other beings besides myself.

 Did you see a light?        No     

Did you meet or see any other beings?         No     

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?         No     

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes    During the OBE I saw my own body sleeping below me.

 Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different? Yes    I only noticed sight, no sounds or other senses.  My sight was not different, just that it was the first and only time I'd seen my physical self from outside my body.

 Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No     

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?         No     

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?           Yes    I think the limiting physical boundary for me was the ceiling.  During the OBE I was floating above myself, but I didn't feel like I could go any higher than that.

 Did you become aware of future events?      No     

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?          No      Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No     

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?     Yes    I have always thought that the universe is a strange place with many mysteries that we cannot / do not understand in this life.  I think that my OBE reinforced this feeling.

 How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?   It has affected me in that I feel like I experienced something special and something that I appreciate.  It opened my mind to the reality of OBEs.  It has also made me feel that proximity to dying -- even if it's not you yourself who is dying -- might elicit a strange and meaningful experience that is hard to describe.

 Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes    It has changed my view of what people can experience while alive.  I've had a few other strange and hard-to-comprehend experiences, but being an OBE, this was a completely new thing to me.

 Have you shared this experience with others?       No          What emotions did you experience following your experience? I was surprised by the experience.  Things were so crazy at that time in my life that I had very little time to reflect on it then.  I have since thought about it a lot, and wondered about how it happened and why.

 What was the best and worst part of your experience?          The best part was feeling like I was floating.  At the end when I reentered my body with a deep breath, it felt strange, but not at all unpleasant.  It did feel unfamiliar.

 Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? I've had dissociate experiences in the past, under times of immense stress, but my OBE was the first time I ever felt truly disconnected from my physical body.

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?       No     

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes    I think that the questions on here have given me ample time and space to explain my OBE.