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Yolanda P's Experience

Experience description:   

I was asleep and in the middle of a dream where I was on the stereotypical analyst's couch talking to a hypnotherapist who was seated next to me. This part was no doubt a dream. Then suddenly I felt (and heard) this incredibly intense "whooshing" sound and I seemed to stand straight up. 

I was in pitch black darkness and I felt the most unbelievable bliss that I've ever experienced in my life. The first thing I thought was "wow, this is better than drugs!"  It's hard to even put into words how amazing it felt, I have nothing to compare it with.  It felt like sheer heaven. 

Even though it was completely black, I wasn't afraid. The darkness seemed full of potential. Not empty at all, but just filled with amazing bliss and happiness. I felt totally myself and whole. 

I decided to start walking. After a while I saw a city with multi-colored street lights ahead. I had a vague feeling that I was following someone who was ahead of me, that this person was leading me to where I was supposed to go. 

I felt loved and whole and happier than I ever thought was humanly possible, but after a while I started to resist going forward.  I had a feeling I was going to meet someone, God possibly, and I felt like I wasn't ready or worthy yet. The colors seemed to get brighter but gold was becoming the most prominent one. I kept fighting though, which I now really regret. I know I was loved and accepted, I felt that completely, but my low opinion of myself and my fear of being laid bare in front of what might possibly be my maker made me fight to stop.  

It stopped finally and then I don't remember anything else until the next morning.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Uncertain  I found out a few years later that I have severe sleep apnea, so I'm not sure if I actually stopped breathing during the experience.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     There's really no "earthly" equivalent to that bliss that I can compare it to. Take every drug that gets you high, every happy experience you've ever had, and multiply it and it still pales in comparison.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    The whole time.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I just felt so alive and whole and completely myself, and unbelievably happy and loved.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   The colors were incredibly vivid and bright and amazing.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   I didn't really hear anything that I remember. No one talked to me.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   It was more than feeling peaceful, it was feeling ALIVE, blissful beyond words, totally whole and loved.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Uncertain   The colored lights of the streetlamps become brighter and brighter as I got closer until they seemed to blend together.  It wasn't a light at the end of a tunnel though, it was a combination of colored lights that were part of a city I was walking toward.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   No
It's hard to say. I think there was someone further ahead of me that I somehow knew I was supposed to follow, but I couldn't see them clearly.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   Some unfamiliar and strange place
I didn't really know where I was at first, but I started to realize I might be in another realm.  It didn't seem humanly possible to feel that good. It felt heavenly.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Uncertain   It seemed to be a heavenly place but nothing specific was said to me about it. I just kind of knew it was another place or dimension and that I was probably going to meet someone if I continued.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Uncertain   I felt connected and yet still totally myself as an individual.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   No  

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I was not expecting it, I thought if I ever had this type of experience it would probably be the scary kind, so I was very PLEASANTLY surprised!  At the time I really believed nobody loved me, not even God if he/she existed.  It was consistent in that I've heard about NDEs and believed they were real, and I have a friend who had an out of body experience that she described as blissful and that gave her knowledge that there is nothing that can truly harm us in this life.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   It's not something you would ever forget, it was the most amazing experience I have ever had.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I remind myself of the experience if I'm feeling down or worthless.  I felt like I was totally loved no matter what I thought of myself (I felt very worthless before this happened and even fought to stop the experience because of that).

My experience directly resulted in:   Unknown

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
Uncertain   I do believe there is a force or energy we can tap into, although I'm not sure if there is a personal God who judges or is even one individual being that controls everything.  I think of it now as the Life Force or Love and that we are all a part of it. I could be wrong though.  But if it is a personal God it is very loving and not the way most religions describe.   

I also started to think maybe I was an O.K. person because of the love and acceptance and bliss during the experience.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   The stark contrast between dreaming and then coming out of the dream into this experience. I could see the difference between the two. The experience did not feel dreamlike.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No   

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
The stark contrast between dreaming and then coming out of the dream into this experience. I could see the difference between the two. The experience did not feel dreamlike.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  I told a close friend almost immediately after.  She shared her OBE with me once and we'd talk a lot about life and death all the time, so I knew I could bring it up with her and not be afraid or disbelieved.  She's the only one I've talked to about it though.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   I've read about it and saw a documentary on TV about it years before.  I'm not sure how that influenced me. It probably helped me not be completely freaked out by it.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was probably real   I was confused because I wasn't sure if I'd actually died at all, but it felt completely real to me.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   When I found out that I had sleep apnea it made much more sense to me.  I was sent to a sleep clinic and stayed overnight and was monitored during the night. I was told that I stop breathing in my sleep about 60 times an hour, which is very severe sleep apnea.  

I can't be completely positive but I think I possibly stopped breathing longer than usual during this experience.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Uncertain   Before the experience I was beginning to believe that religion actually gets in the way of spiritual experiences.  This experience seemed to validate that.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   What was interesting about this is that I was having a dream before it happened and I seemed to wake out of it into the possible NDE.  I could see the stark contrast between having a dream and this experience. They were nothing alike. It didn't feel dream-like in any way.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   It seemed pretty thorough.

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?        Yes.