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Yami L's Experience

Experience description:   

I was using a lot of drugs at the time; so much that it would be lethal for normal people. I remember I had been on a 7-8 day binge and that day was my "off" day where I caught up on much needed rest and sleep. I'm a widow with 3 young boys ages 2, 7, and 8. (I also have 3 others who live with their father, my former first marriage). I remember it was Halloween evening, and I sent my 2 older boys out trick-or-treating with a friend. I had my 2-yr old son with me. I was asleep on the couch with my son.  All of a sudden, things started "shaking" and I got the feeling I wasn't "safe". Somehow I had the knowledge that I was "passing" or "dying"...It scared really bad. I had the feeling that my soul or spirit was about to detach from my physical body. I knew a heart attack was imminent. I started freaking out...it was very stressful. I felt like I was losing the fight to keep my soul attached to my body (it was "leaving" by trying to violently detach itself). I had only a few options; to let go and detach, or to try to calm my breathing, thoughts, and heart rate (it was beating fast, I could feel it).  At first I knew I didn't want to go. This has happened to me before, and I didn't go. I started praying and bargaining with God. I focused on my breathing and tried to bring down my heart rate through meditation and breathing....My thoughts were all mumble-jumble, but certain thoughts I knew were real and true. Like the thought of fear; knowing that my other 2 boys will return in exactly an hour, knowing that my youngest was asleep on top of me by my feet. Knowing that if I let my spirit leave, it is death to my body and that my older boys will come home to a dead mother and be orphaned by both mother n father. I feared my youngest will wake and not be able to wake me. I feared he would be in distress until the other 2 came home. My biggest bargaining chip with God was that I could not go. I could not let my boys grow up without a parent.  

All this happened really fast. I kind of "held on" to whatever was leaving me by sheer will alone. I wasn't letting it leave me. All of a sudden, I felt it come back to me...(I had the feeling it was detached from me almost fully except at the head. And I felt it settle back into my body. Now was my chance to wake up and fully save myself. So I opened my eyes. I was a home on the couch. I looked down at my feet and my baby was asleep there. I could see my body and I could see my baby as he laid. I thought I was fully awake. I felt fully awake. I was relieved to still be alive. That's when I looked around. I knew something was "not right". I was in my house, but it was different. The layout was not quite the same. I looked towards the kitchen (my only line of vision from where I was laying), and I noticed someone doing the dishes. I knew right away who it was. My late husband. And the sink was on the wrong side of the room.

Then it felt like I was "gliding" towards him....I was approaching him faster than my consciousness could reason with me that that was impossible because I knew he had died. I felt fear. Immense fear. I realized I was still in my body, looking through my own eyes, but I was definitely not in the world I thought I was in. I felt like he (late husband) knew my fear. Because when I didn't want to approach, my "gliding" stopped. I didn't have 360 degrees vision...I could only see within my range of sight which is as far as your eyes would allow you to see if your head was stuck in one place. I was scared. I know whatever I'm experiencing, it isn't earthly. I didn't know what to do. I thought I had woken, only to find I'm completely conscious, but my body is still asleep. I could see myself on the couch. I could see everything, and I'm wide awake, but I was scared because I didn't know what to do.

I had the feeling there were 3 persons behind me at my head...I couldn't see them of course, my vision is limited to in front of me. I couldn't physically "hear" them, but I knew what they were saying. It was like telepathy. I could communicate with them. I was afraid to though. I knew they were my "guides". Don't know how I know that, I just did. I also knew they weren't "Angels" or anything Godly. I had the feeling they were old spirits, but on the opposite side of Godly. My instinct was to be afraid of them, but I felt like they weren't going to harm me. They just wanted to teach me how to use my "gift" of being able to travel from this life into the spiritual life while maintaining full attachment to my body and my life here. I had the feeling not many people had this ability and they were seeking out people who have this ability and they " train" these people for their own purposes. I also knew these "purposes" were un-Godly purposes. I was afraid but reassured I shouldn't be, and that they would teach me how to maneuver in their world. I didn't want to. I just wanted to "wake up".

I was still frantically trying to bargain with God to just allow me to fully wake up to this world. One of the persons behind me took over. I could "hear" and feel "it" more than the other 2. I think it sensed my fear and was trying to calm me down. After  a while of realizing that although I could open my eyes and see the things of this world but was unable to wake up enough not to see the things of the other world, I paid closer attention to what my guides wanted me to do. After I felt safe enough that I wasn't going to die, I listened to them better. They just wanted me (for the time being; because I knew later when I've perfected this, that I would be asked to be in service for communication between the two worlds), I took my guides advice and started what I would call a "training" session. I learned how to glide from one place to another. All I had to do was "think" about it and I was there in a matter of short gliding. For example, I remember thinking I wanted to try it to see if it worked. I've never been to China, to the Great Wall....so I tried there. In a matter of seconds I was there. I could look around...I was there. Don't get me wrong, I knew the whole time I was still on my couch and still in my body on my couch, but I was looking at the Great Wall...it was weird, yes.  

This went on for a while. In this time, I learned to glide from here n there. I still didn't fully trust my guides...I knew they weren't Godly, and that what I was doing goes against God. I knew also, that I didn't want to serve them in the long run. But by this time, I actually was having a good time. If when I thought I was too far, I would physically open my eyes and I was back at staring at my body and my baby asleep at my feet. And I could glide again when I felt safe. I just simply have a thought, and go there. My eyes went there I meant.  

Finally I said to the guides that I must wake up. I knew my hour was about done, and my older boys would be walking through the front door any minute. I told my friend only an hour and no more. I knew my friend was responsible enough to keep my time restrictions and be home by the hour. By this time, I had learned how to travel in the other world (although I have no idea how to get back there once I wake other than going the sand way I had gone this time; in fear of my life!) my guides were willing to let me come back...or at least, they did not object. As I was coming back I remembered one thing I wanted to do. I had a boyfriend who died by a gunshot to the head when I was younger, and I had loved him very much and I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity and see him. I told my guides that's what I wanted to do before I ended this session (because I had the feeling this was only a first of many to come).  They told me he was just down the street. I started gliding there. You see, in this world, whatever you want to see, whomever you want to see, it's all just a moment away and it can all be located...with the exception of those gone to heaven, I took notice there was no memory or mention of those gone to heaven). It's like they're a memory that's been deleted off a hard drive.  

As I was approaching my late boyfriend, I could see him in a sitting position, with one knee up. I knew it was him and I could see he has a smile on. It was like a photograph. He didn't move, blink, etc. he was just there. I hadn't seen him in over 15 years (he's been dead that long) and I couldn't remember all his features...so it was nice to get a perfect picture of him. I had forgotten almost how he looked like really until that day. But I was gliding towards him too fast, approaching his face too fast and I knew he'd been shot in the head in real life and I didn't know what to expect so I started freaking out. I was a afraid. I started wanting to stop gliding but I didn't know how. Then he spoke to me (through telepathy).  He told me there are two things I could control while in their world; my eyes and my breathing. He asked me to try it. So I did...I paced my breathing slow, then fast, and physically I could feel that I did have control over that. Then I tried opening my eyes (remember I still know I'm on my couch, prob asleep with my eyes closed), so I opened them slowly. He was right, I could easily escape their world and slowly adjust to mine...with my body coming into view and my baby asleep at my feet coming into view.  When I closed my eyelids, I was back in their world. I remember laughing, and making comments about how clever everything seemed.  

But I knew I had to wake. My boys were coming back. So I just opened my eyes and kept them opened until I knew everything of the other world had faded and I could see that I was back fully in this world. I looked at my watch and it was exactly an hour to the time my boys left for trick-or-treating. I also noticed that I had a feeling of immense energy and I felt like I've slept for a decade. I was that rejuvenated! Matter of fact is, given that I haven't had much sleep at all within the last 7-8 days, I wouldn't have been able to function on just one hour is sleep. It's never happened before. Usually my crashes would be for at least 2-3 days with little wake time in between.  

I've since had many similar experiences...and even after years of being sober, they continued. Most were pleasant, but some were just darn right scary. I finally brought this up to the attention of my church out of fear, and through prayers and faithfully reading the Bible and Book of Mormon everyday, these experiences have not occurred. Every now n then, when half awake and half asleep, I could hear and feel things of the other world...but when that happens, I just will open my eyes and keep them open until I fully wake...I know now there's another world other than our own. I've seen the playful spirits of my children around me and my bed while they were in school. I've had conversations with my dead mother and heard her clear as day...as if you n I were having a conversation. I can't explain it...all I know is God wants us to focus on THIS life...and leave the next for the next phase of our life.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Uncertain 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No    

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    Towards to end

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I felt like my consciousness wasn't limited to only this time and place, or this realm.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   I could see everything faster, closer and better.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   It was more like a focused, refined kind if heading. All done without the ears...it was like pure knowledge of a conversation.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   I could open my eyes and see that I was on the couch.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Immense fear of death...then pure joy of having the ability to go places earthly beings couldn't.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I knew there was 3 beings behind. I never saw them, but I did converse with them. I felt them with me the whole time. I "felt" and knew how they looked like, their shape, color, etc. only thing I couldn't focus on was their faces. Somehow that was blocked from me.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Yes   My late boyfriend and my late husband (in this experience---I've encountered countless others in other experiences)

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   Yes  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I was here on earth, but seemed like a different dimension

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I felt like in this dimension that I was in...time was of no significance. Things just "existed"...not time. I felt like I was in an infinite place n time.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about myself or others
I felt like I had knowledge of only this world (earth) and the spirit world. I also had the feeling there was another place (heaven) to where my knowledge of it was blocked..

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I knew that after death...this is the place you go. And I knew you exist there indefinitely. And I also knew that  the spirits there want to communicate with us here. There are only a few who can make that connection, and the spirits there seek those of us who can make that connection out. I know they are limited to children and those who do not fear or know God....

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   My consciousness (in this life) knows about God. But in that world (spirit world), all knowledge of God is removed and doesn't exist.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I felt like there were two dimensions. Although we could not see the other, the other sees us.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Uncertain  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Uncertain   Not so much love...but service.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Uncertain  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   Yes. I knew their purpose was to train me to serve them as go-between the two worlds. I also knew they knew that if I was freaked out, I wouldn't do it. I felt like I was being "buttered up" and exposed to them enough to point where I wouldn't freak out at their sheer presence.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I was conflicted with whom I was being asked/trained to serve. I don't want to say it, but I felt it was Satan...or of a demonic nature...nothing Godly at all. I felt also that they felt I knew this...and tried to block God from me...

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   I could remember every part of the details...conversations, thoughts, etc of this experience. I couldn't do that with any other life event.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   Well, for one, I was scared enough to find sobriety. And I wanted to show my gratitude to God, and come through with my promise for wanting to live; to be a mother to my children. I wasn't much of a mother then.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
Yes   I fully believe in God. He's the only reason why I am not being bothered today.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Uncertain   I've always had the ability. I come from generations of Shamanism.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
Yes. The value of life.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  I kept all this to myself. I was a heavy drug abuser and so I didn't want people to chalk that up to drug use.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   Stories you read about others and the light at he end of the tunnel, etc.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   All I know is...it wasn't a dream. One, maybe, two, maybe. But when you've had enough of these "dreams" and you begin to fear them less n less and explore them more n more, etc. you know it's real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I believe I was being sought out to carry MSG from other realm to here...

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I'm closer to God, kids, etc

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I depend solely of God to keep these experiences from happening again.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Uncertain  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   We chose where we go after this life...the place I was at is no place to be.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes