Vera J's Experience

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Experience description:   

Please overlook what lead up to my experience, the drugs and alcohol, because it was very real to me.  it started while i was smoking pot with my friends.  i had already had about 8 or 9 beers and 2 hits of acid.  i took a hit off the bowl and my head felt like it was going to explode.  it felt horrible and i thought i was never going to recover.  but when i did i did what any stupid teenager would do and decided it felt cool, so i took another hit.  this time my head felt like it was going to explode again, but instead of getting better this time i passed out. 

i remember lying on the bed of the hotel room passed out, but some how i could still see the people around me.  as i looked from person to person i realized some could see me and understand what was happening to me, while others had no idea i was there.  the people who could see me also gave my what at the time they called a "gift".  it was some sort of secret that only a few "special" people in the whole world knew.  and when they told me these secrets, i was so thankful.  thankful from the bottom of my heart like i had never been before.  and the secret was always sealed with a "kiss".  the next thing i remember happening is what i call flash backs. 

it seemed like i was in a tunnel, for lack of better word, structure with a small light at the end and a arm of light extending out from the light.  every time the arm of light made a complete circle around the tunnel i saw a new image.  it started was where i was currently in life and moved back to the beginning.  i saw/remembered thing i never new i forgot/existed.  and each new image was so meaningful to me, the each touched my heart.  as the images progressed the sped up and soon i realized i could not stop them.  i knew when i got the the "beginning" birth i was going to die, i got scared but i couldn't stop it.  when i reached the time of birth though i did not die, instead i went to the next phase. 

i was presented with the "most" of everything.  the most beautiful thing i ever saw, the most sad thing i ever saw, etc.  i order to move on/not accept to die i had to 100% believe the that was not what i wanted.  and until all doubt was gone i was stuck on one image.  the only image i recall is the saddest thing i ever saw.  it was a baby with a tear.  the lost innocence, i think.  that however is where my adventure ended, except for seeing one more thing.  my mother, father and a little girl standing in the door way of what looked like a hospital room.  my mother and father were still alive and the time and i am not sure who the little girl was.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  Yes

      Explanation:  i was a kid so forgive me.  beer, pot and acid and LOTS of it.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

      What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate?  the emotions i felt

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  No

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  none

Was the experience dream like in any way?  yes

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Yes

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  i was able to see my surrounding even though i was asleep

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  every emotion

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  no

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  Yes

      Describe:  tunnel during by flash back experience

Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  started out small, but got bigger as i images progressed

Did you meet or see any other beings?  Yes

      Describe:  mom, dad and unknown little girl

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  Yes

      Describe:  sorry do not remember the images

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  Yes

      Describe:  i saw the most of everything you could imagine

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  No

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  i realized some people have a gift to give you, the gift was some kind of special knowledge only they knew

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  Yes

      Describe:  the boundary was at birth, i thought i was going to die when i crossed it

Did you become aware of future events?  No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  Uncertain

      Describe:  i don't remember coming back, but if i would have given in to the "mosts" i think i would have died

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Uncertain

      Describe:  i am not sure

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  No

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  no

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  with my husband, but i don't think he understood

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  i felt not me

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes