Vanna J's Experience

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Experience description:   

I had been ill for several days and was under a doctors care at home. I remember at that time my husband getting ready for work around 5 am.  I told him good-bye and remember as he walked away, I may never see him again. I didn't know why I thought that at the time.  The thought was rather strange to me, I dismissed it thinking that I must have been so sick I thought/and felt so bad that I may die. I then remembered that I should probably go ahead take my meds before trying to sleep again. So I did. As prescribed, and went to sleep sometime around 5:30 am. 

The next thing that I recall is that I was looking at myself lying in a beautiful white bed, It glowed. So what almost hard to look at. Like looking into a florescent light. Into the center without a cover on it. My gown that I was wearing , the bed, the bed covers, pillows, etc, everything was brilliant white. As to look at white under a black light type of white. So white it was almost blue.  Around the outside of the bed, It seemed to be dark, but celestial. Starry, or lights flickering around in darkness. I sat up quickly in the bed without pain, as I also have a lot of chronic pain in my neck and spine due to an accident and bone degeneration.

I sat up pain free, thinking how easy it was to do so. I spun around on the bed without any pain so light and easy. I remember the quiet serene feeling, so peaceful.  I stood up, looked down at my feet and thought to myself there is no floor.  That is when I feel that I realized where I was. I looked up again, and there seemed to be a rushing feeling pass with me. Or almost a forward motion of air passing by, while this was occurring time when rushing past me....I had thoughts of my family, which my marriage was in trouble at this time also,, my son had returned home to live after being on his own for 3 years, my grandmother was considered, but the one thing that would not leave my thoughts was those of my then year old grand-daughter who lives with an irresponsible mother. That thought was "SHE IS TOO LITTLE TO CARE FOR HERSELF." Over and over in my mind I heard it. Tears began to fall. 

I knew where I was. I knew I was on my way to heaven, but could not leave my grand-daughter. I was still floating, or moving gently forward. Soon after tears fell, I approached another being.  A being I will call an angel as it was my mother who had passed away 21 and 1 half years before.  She was wearing the same kind of gown as myself, as I approached her, she was holding her hands outreached slightly down to her sides, as I came before  her I sobbed. There were never any words spoken only through the mind. She spoke to me first.  As I cried, she said, (so like mom), "Now what's wrong?"   I shrugged my shoulders, and shook my head NO.  I knew I could not leave that child to care for herself not knowing what her future would be and would might or may not care for her.

At that moment my mother reached for me, brought me to her shoulder and held me there, as if as gold light lit up the two of us, my next recollection was myself, in my bed, sobbing.  I was pushing away myself from the  feather pillow that I was sleeping on, which was partly in my mouth, and soaking wet. My wrists were sore and red rings around them as if I had been pushing myself for some time. My arms ached, I was shaking, not frightened, never at any time.  I was coughing and sobbing some more.. I was totally aware of what had just happened.

I knew I had had a NDE but was not confirmed until I asked my doctor and psychologist about it later, which three have now all told me in there experience it sounded to them as though this was a real encounter for me. I have absolutely NO DOUBT...I recovered soon after from the illness I was suffering from.  Incidentally, I have not had bronchitis since then and had approximately twice or even three times before. I have since, moved on with my life alone.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  Yes

      Explanation:  I was on medication at the time treating bronchitis, I am unsure of the drugs at the time I was taking. But I'm sure I can ask my doctor for a list at that time I was being treated.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No

      What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate?  Only to make people really try to understand what you are trying to express, also fear of disbelief, and or proper understanding.

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Uncertain

      Describe:  If you are asking another life threatening event with someone other than myself ,, Yes, my father-in-law was in the hospital fighting cancer, which later the next month passed.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  I knew exactly what was happening to me at all times.  Started asleep.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  Started as I was in a dream looking at my dream..

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  Peace, then sad about leaving my grand-daughter, uneasy that she may still need me.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  As I saw myself set up in the bed, I do recall, sounds of flute like music, soft, tranquil sounds.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  No response

      Describe:  did not feel it was a tunnel, but passed like breeze moving forward ascending like upward feeling

Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  Lots of them, but the white light that covered everything , bed, sheets, covers, gown, everything, even mom's gown

Did you meet or see any other beings?  Yes

      Describe:  MOM, explained thoughts that were passed in description above

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  Yes

      Describe:  Life is too short to be unhappy... was the thoughts that were prevalent to me.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Uncertain

      Describe:  The sensation of moving in motion

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  I have always been intuitive, use gut feeling a lot, may have more since this experience....Sometimes I just know things, without really having studied.  I don't even know why I know things sometimes, things sometimes before they happen

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  No response

      Describe:  I guess in a way when I reached mom,., I shook my head NO letting her know that I knew if I went on any further, that there was no coming back.

Did you become aware of future events?  No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  Yes

      Describe:  Explained above

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Uncertain

      Describe:  Maybe more intuitive than before, or maybe just more aware

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  No

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  Live Life to its fullest, in good faith, be kind to other humans, we all should try it.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  Mostly positive,, some uncertain if they believe or not,, truly does not matter to me,.   I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED,,,3 Psychologist have all under different setting in different situations have also listened and feel my experience was indeed real.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  cried for hours,, missed my mom all over again, but had a great sense of peace

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  I know I'll see my family who has gone on before again someday, which was my belief before but now, I know..

I don't think anything bad about it at all.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  I BELIEVE,, CAUSE I HAVE BEEN THERE! I think it was a fascinating experience,, One I wish everyone could fully perceive...

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  Yes

      Describe:  A lot of ways....

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes