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Tracey D's Experience

Experience description:   

My experiences began about 6 months before I was diagnosed with cancer. I had no physical symptoms of being sick but for no explainable reason I began to obsess that I had something growing in my body. I was constantly filling my upper abdomen just below my rib cage and felt sure that I could feel something there that shouldn't be there. Shortly after I began doing this I began to awaken out of a sound sleep in the middle of the night. I would go into the bathroom and when I got there I would begin to feel very afraid. I would lie down on the bathroom floor because my vision would start to turn to tunnel vision and I would begin to feel far far away. As my field of vision got smaller I would see a pin point of light at the end of the tunnel. everything else was dark around it and I couldn't see anything in the room around me. I would then get this overwhelming feeling that I was dying. I would become very afraid and couldn't stop thinking that my four children wouldn't have a mother.

At this point I would begin to call to my husband. The first time he came into the bathroom and asked what was the matter and why was I lying on the bathroom floor. I told him I was dying. He thought I was nuts and told me to get up. I said I couldn't see and I just needed him to hold my hand so that I would stay and not die. I felt as though as long as I held something here on Earth I wouldn't be able to leave. He grudgingly obliged me. Holding his hand calmed my fears and in a short amount of time my vision would return and I would go back to bed. This happened to me about 5 times in a six month period. In Sept 1997 I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. I had a tumor the size of a grapefruit right beside my heart and lungs. Shortly after I began my chemo I was lying in bed exhausted and scared. I couldn't stop thinking of my kids. As I lay there I began to pray for God to take care of them if I die. In my head as clear as if someone was in the room with me I heard someone say, "you are going to be fine." I can't explain it but I know it wasn't me talking to myself in my head. It came from someone else. I also became very peaceful, all me fear went away. It has been 12 years since my last treatment and I have remained cancer free. These experiences have had a lasting affect on me. I have a lot less fear of death something I was always terrified of. also I can recollect the events as if they were yesterday. They haven't diminished with time. Although I was afraid at the time it now brings me great comfort and peace of mind.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    lying on the bathroom floor.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            lying on the bathroom floor.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     everything was gone except for the light and the darkness around it.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            Uncertain     

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            fear. anxiety over my children. during the first experience. peace after the other experience

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes    

Did you see a light?           Yes    

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes    

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Uncertain     

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     No      

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain     

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     about 2 years

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     TV shows

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real   

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            Yes it brought me peace of mind and less fear of death

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was probably real   

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I am much less judgmental and critical of people

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?           
No           

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No                  

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes