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Thomas R's Experience

Experience description:   

My experiences are different than most NDE experiences. I did not leave the body and then return. Instead I entered the body, walked in and took up residence. Two weeks before my (his) 14th birthday (May 21) Tom R fell off a cliff and certainly lost consciousness. He was attending a seminary to become a Catholic priest. He fell during a school outing to a park full of canyons and cliffs. Life was not the same ever again. 

I happened upon the "Tom's" body in a hospital and became intrigued with the possibilities and potential. I moved right in and sat down. "Tom" was gone and the seat of consciousness was vacant. It took some effort to learn how to use the body. Even trivial things like eating took a lot of concentration until I discovered my experiences are different than most NDE experiences. I did not leave the body and then return. Instead I entered the body, walked in and took up residence. Two weeks before my (his) 14th birthday (May 21) Tom Repasky fell off a cliff and certainly lost consciousness. He was attending a seminary to become a Catholic priest. He fell during a school outing to a park full of canyons and cliffs. Life was not the same ever again. I happened upon the "Toms" body in a hospital and became intrigued with the possibilities and potential. I moved right in and sat down. "Tom" was gone and the seat of consciousness was vacant. It took some effort to learn how to use the body. Even trivial things like eating took a lot of concentration until I discovered various control panels "Tom" must have used. I could make no sense of his memory and was overwhelmed with sensations. It took about seven years for that period to end. Interestingly this seven year period is also how long a typical NDE experiencer takes to adjust. I went back to the seminary in the fall, but only lasted a quarter and was back home in Ohio. I went to the Catholic High School there and joined the school band. Some time later I ran away to Canada with a band member, secured a job, had an apartment, and was living life. Within three weeks I was promoted to a supervisor role. I was 15 or 16 at the time and fully knew I was intelligent. I completely lacked social skills and was not very conscious of much. During that time I was expelled three times from from Kent State University (Ashtabula campus). I also was involved in four car accidents. Two involving only my car. During one 'drunk fest' with some friends, I recall driving quite fast about 40-50mph on a snow covered hill and telling the guys "Hang on" proceeding to spin the car going down a steep hill, narrowly missing the guard rail at the bottom. It was a most interesting time. I feel as though I wasn't really there. I behaved and felt like a child. I was going through typical new-born to child development. I moved to LA in 1966-1967. I was going to drive but totaled my second car a week before I was to leave. Another head injury and a week in the hospital. Sometime later with $300, a suitcase, and no clue, I set out for LA via Greyhound. A young man boarded in Chicago and we decided to share an apartment in LA. During the next 7 years, I got married/re-married 3 times. Still a child in many ways, I delighted in exploration and the mind. My intelligence was obvious. I also delighted in eccentric and unusual behavior. My consciousness 'ignited' and my 'journey/past' became visible during the second seven years. I began to search/examine the ideas and thoughts I had. I played during this period. I met wizards and conjurers and all sorts of beings/people. I began writing more often and started to paint with acrylics, used pastels, and chalk. I continued to develop my technology and science skills. I especially like mathematics and physics systems. My skills in electronics allowed me to maintain a comfortable life style. I also developed my language during this period, assigning labels to the ideas and concepts flowing through my mind (consciousness). I have a box or more of writings and notepads from that period. And a similar volume of music compositions. 100+ paintings were stored in the closet along with the writings and cassettes. I had learned how to communicate. The last 44 years have been a mixture of happenings and adventures. There are now 200+ paintings in the closet and several large bags full of cassette tapes. The writings have also grown over the years. However, I began to write them on a computer and the boxes only get an occasional notepad added. Several years ago, I began to do my art on a computer and have since created more than 2,000 images that explore ideas, the human psyche, surreal and abstract realities. I am still eccentric and enjoy unusual things. I am considered an expert in electronic, computer, and network technologies. I read Scientific American, MAD, and Discover magazines regularly as well as Comics News and 10+ other weekly magazines like Newsweek, Time, Business 2.0, E-week, etc. I enjoy expression and believe that expression is a 'true' gift life bestowed upon humans. Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes The human language did not have metaphors or models for some of the science I am aware of. THis has changed over the years however. At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes I entered the body of a nearly 14 year old whose consciousness had been "lost/damaged/destroyed" What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience? I have not been able to access or retrieve any memories prior to the accident. I suspect the encoding of the memories requires the original "Tom" personality that no longer exists. Since the experience I have very good and clear memories. Entering the body remains as clear today as it did 44 years ago. Once in the body however, the intense levels of energy associated with physical experience swamped my 'consciousness' for about 7 years. I imagine I was like a baby trying to make sense of all the input. Was the experience dream like in any way? Not in the least. Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes I can remember wandering around this planet waiting for a body through which to experience life. I can also recall wandering around the hospital and trying out different bodies before finding this one with no one in it. What emotions did you feel during the experience? It was an experience and had no emotional qualities about it. THe tunnel of light (the nervous system)ended in a lovely place I call the seat of consciousness. It is a kind of island floating on the quantum foam caused by neural activity in the brain. Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? It took me some time to figure out how to hear with this body. I do experience OBE frequently and sometimes use a model of nothing to induce the experience. When I do this I hear a clanking sound not unlike the sounds I have heard while exploring Nitrous Oxide many years ago. LOCATION DESCRIPTION: Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures? Yes During OBE and sometimes while awake. THree unique and individual creatures. Companions of sorts. Did you see a light? Yes As noted in my experience, the glow of the central nervous system and the brain Did you meet or see any other beings? No During the initial experience no. During my life here since yes numerous times and numerous creatures. Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No I have never tried this while OBE but have run numerous experiments and tests of human consciousness. Especially with the transference of thought or idea. Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No response Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different? Yes Initially it took some time to discover how the body worked and how to make sense of the sensory input. I had no clue what would be considered normal operational parameters and adjusted my interpretation of the energy storms in the brain based upon feedback loops I established Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes Time was very difficult for me at first. This might be a function of my non-body existence prior to the event. I find I can easily alter my perception of time (slowing it down). Sometimes I wonder if persistence can be achieved by stopping time. Space and time are to me, domains/definitions that attempt to describe everything. The are the bottom two levels of existence. They are where the great dams were built to hold back chaos and let the energy form structures Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes I have an incredible imagination of knowledge and experience of other realities. Too involved to describe here Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes This occurs during certain OBE I have. I perceive it as traveling in an elevator. Most humans live on level four some also live on levels 5, 6, and 7. Very few live above level 12. The three creatures I mentioned above hang around level 17. When ever I get to level 20 the brain ceases to process sensory information so it is impossible to describe anything beyond level 20. Did you become aware of future events? Yes Events are like a blip an impulse rising above the baseline. The rise time of the event permits early viewing/awareness of the event. Big events are easier to see in advance :-) Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body? Yes Of the several times I have felt the opportunity to leave the body permanently, I have chosen to return, for various motivations. I am fascinated with the human potential and the possibilities of communication Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Uncertain Having no memory prior to the event makes the comparison moot. However the ability to 'read minds' and predict behavior of others is something I have practiced the past 44 years with a bit of success. I can usually communicate ideas and thoughts with most anyone. Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes I left the seminary and became a body for 7 or so years. I began to wonder about who/what I was after having virtually lost myself in the human experience. That wondering revealed information long hidden from myself. To me all humans are transcendent beings How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices? mathematics and science were the two languages I could understand. Musaic and art were two forms of expression I enjoyed. Together these focused my 30+ years as computer/electronics engineer. Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes Again this is difficult to answer as a comparison however, I do know that most humans do not experience life as I do. The atomic and quantum domain where I dwell are difficult to navigate when the brain (where most humans reside)swamps the energy fields. For me each day, each moment is spontaneously manifest and this reality is a program, a simulation of what life would be like if it existed. Have you shared this experience with others? Yes Varied and diverse. Some accepted it others considered it the ravings of a mad man although I was very successful as an engineer/scientist. Most considered me harmless and eccentric. What emotions did you experience following your experience? None as noted above. However, numerous OBE experience have produced blissful, peaceful, calm, serene feelings. What was the best and worst part of your experience? The worst was trying to figure out how to use the control panel to make the body, speak, move, and such and figuring out human emotions. The best was discovering I could experience life as a human. Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? Lots and Lots Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Numerous methods and tools I have found provided ways to examine and define the experience of being and perceiving. Self hypnosis, LSD, Lucid Dreams, awake dreaming, meditation can and have all been used. Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes Walk in experiences like mine are similar to NDE and OBE. The differences are in the level of awareness and participation of the 'essence I" In my view, if you can not remember coming here, you'll not know when you leave. arious control panels "Tom" must have used. I could make no sense of his memory and was overwhelmed with sensations. It took about seven years for that period to end. Interestingly this seven year period is also how long a typical NDE experiencer takes to adjust. 

I went back to the seminary in the fall, but only lasted a quarter and was back home in Ohio. I went to the Catholic High School there and joined the school band. Some time later I ran away to Canada with a band member, secured a job, had an apartment, and was living life. Within three weeks I was promoted to a supervisor role. I was 15 or 16 at the time and fully knew I was intelligent. I completely lacked social skills and was not very conscious of much. During that time I was expelled three times from from Kent State University (Ashtabula campus). I also was involved in four car accidents. Two involving only my car. During one 'drunk fest' with some friends, I recall driving quite fast about 40-50mph on a snow covered hill and telling the guys "Hang on" proceeding to spin the car going down a steep hill, narrowly missing the guard rail at the bottom. It was a most interesting time. I feel as though I wasn't really there. I behaved and felt like a child. I was going through typical new-born to child development. 

I moved to LA in 1966-1967. I was going to drive but totaled my second car a week before I was to leave. Another head injury and a week in the hospital. Sometime later with $300, a suitcase, and no clue, I set out for LA via Greyhound. A young man boarded in Chicago and we decided to share an apartment in LA. During the next 7 years, I got married/re-married 3 times. Still a child in many ways, I delighted in exploration and the mind. My intelligence was obvious. I also delighted in eccentric and unusual behavior. 

My consciousness 'ignited' and my 'journey/past' became visible during the second seven years. I began to search/examine the ideas and thoughts I had. I played during this period. I met wizards and conjurers and all sorts of beings/people. I began writing more often and started to paint with acrylics, used pastels, and chalk. I continued to develop my technology and science skills. I especially like mathematics and physics systems. My skills in electronics allowed me to maintain a comfortable life style. I also developed my language during this period, assigning labels to the ideas and concepts flowing through my mind (consciousness). I have a box or more of writings and notepads from that period. And a similar volume of music compositions. 100+ paintings were stored in the closet along with the writings and cassettes. I had learned how to communicate. 

The last 44 years have been a mixture of happenings and adventures. There are now 200+ paintings in the closet and several large bags full of cassette tapes. The writings have also grown over the years. However, I began to write them on a computer and the boxes only get an occasional notepad added. Several years ago, I began to do my art on a computer and have since created more than 2,000 images that explore ideas, the human psyche, surreal and abstract realities. 

I am still eccentric and enjoy unusual things. I am considered an expert in electronic, computer, and network technologies. I read Scientific American, MAD, and Discover magazines regularly as well as Comics News and 10+ other weekly magazines like Newsweek, Time, Business 2.0, E-week, etc. 

I enjoy expression and believe that expression is a 'true' gift life bestowed upon humans.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No      


Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     The human language did not have metaphors or models for some of the science I am aware of. This has changed over the years however.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I entered the body of a nearly 14 year old whose consciousness had been "lost/damaged/destroyed"

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I have not been able to access or retrieve any memories prior to the accident. I suspect the encoding of the memories requires the original "Tom" personality that no longer exists. Since the experience I have very good and clear memories. Entering the body remains as clear today as it did 44 years ago. Once in the body however, the intense levels of energy associated with physical experience swamped my 'consciousness' for about 7 years. I imagine I was like a baby trying to make sense of all the input.

           
Was the experience dream like in any way?   Not in the least.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes     I can remember wandering around this planet waiting for a body through which to experience life. I can also recall wandering around the hospital and trying out different bodies before finding this one with no one in it.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            It was an experience and had no emotional qualities about it. The tunnel of light (the nervous system) ended in a lovely place I call the seat of consciousness. It is a kind of island floating on the quantum foam caused by neural activity in the brain.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           It took me some time to figure out how to hear with this body. I do experience OBE frequently and sometimes use a model of nothing to induce the experience. When I do this I hear a clanking sound not unlike the sounds I have heard while exploring Nitrous Oxide many years ago.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?            Yes     During OBE and sometimes while awake. Three unique and individual creatures. Companions of sorts.

Did you see a light?           Yes     As noted in my experience, the glow of the central nervous system and the brain

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No       During the initial experience no. During my life here since yes numerous times and numerous creatures.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No      

I have never tried this while OBE but have run numerous experiments and tests of human consciousness. Especially with the transference of thought or idea.

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes            Initially it took some time to discover how the body worked and how to make sense of the sensory input. I had no clue what would be considered normal operational parameters and adjusted my interpretation of the energy storms in the brain based upon feedback loops I established

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     Time was very difficult for me at first. This might be a function of my non-body existence prior to the event. I find I can easily alter my perception of time (slowing it down). Sometimes I wonder if persistence can be achieved by stopping time. Space and time are to me, domains/definitions that attempt to describe everything. The are the bottom two levels of existence. They are where the great dams were built to hold back chaos and let the energy form structures

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes     I have an incredible imagination of knowledge and experience of other realities. Too involved to describe here

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Yes     This occurs during certain OBE I have. I perceive it as traveling in an elevator. Most humans live on level four some also live on levels 5, 6, and 7. Very few live above level 12. The three creatures I mentioned above hang around level 17. When ever I get to level 20 the brain ceases to process sensory information so it is impossible to describe anything beyond level 20.

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes     Events are like a blip an impulse rising above the baseline. The rise time of the event permits early viewing/awareness of the event. Big events are easier to see in advance :-)

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes     Of the several times I have felt the opportunity to leave the body permanently, I have chosen to return, for various motivations. I am fascinated with the human potential and the possibilities of communication

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain      Having no memory prior to the event makes the comparison moot. However the ability to 'read minds' and predict behavior of others is something I have practiced the past 44 years with a bit of success. I can usually communicate ideas and thoughts with most anyone.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I left the seminary and became a body for 7 or so years. I began to wonder about who/what I was after having virtually lost myself in the human experience. That wondering revealed information long hidden from myself. To me all humans are transcendent beings

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       mathematics and science were the two languages I could understand. Music and art were two forms of expression I enjoyed. Together these focused my 30+ years as computer/electronics engineer.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes     Again this is difficult to answer as a comparison however, I do know that most humans do not experience life as I do. The atomic and quantum domain where I dwell are difficult to navigate when the brain (where most humans reside) swamps the energy fields. For me each day, each moment is spontaneously manifest and this reality is a program, a simulation of what life would be like if it existed.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Varied and diverse. Some accepted it others considered it the ravings of a mad man although I was very successful as an engineer/scientist. Most considered me harmless and eccentric.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  None as noted above. However, numerous OBE experience have produced blissful, peaceful, calm, serene feelings.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The worst was trying to figure out how to use the control panel to make the body, speak, move, and such and figuring out human emotions. The best was discovering I could experience life as a human.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        Lots and Lots

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes     Numerous methods and tools I have found provided ways to examine and define the experience of being and perceiving. Self hypnosis, LSD, Lucid Dreams, awake dreaming, meditation can and have all been used.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes     Walk in experiences like mine are similar to NDE and OBE. The differences are in the level of awareness and participation of the 'essence I" In my view, if you can not remember coming here, you'll not know when you leave.