Susan W's Experience

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Experience description:   

O.K. After writing an immaculate (sorry, personification), 40-page paper on a research proposal using a naturalistic approach to find the meaning through my grandfather's diary, of the near-death experience to him before he died of lung cancer, this wild thing happened, and then happened several more times.  At first I found myself wide awake, looking at the wall that was about a foot from my face--and then I suddenly woke up SHOCKED AND SCARED, because, how could I see if I were sleeping and my eyes were shut? (You know, I had several of these events-which one matches the writing of that long paper, I am not sure.) I think, though, (OH MY--I ALMOST COMPLETELY FORGOT-the "golden girl").

The time with the research paper, I saw a full body apparition, a hazy, see-through gold being who was incredibly animated-I could see her studying me while I slept--I woke up and looked at her and screamed at the top of my lungs (but that's not the story you've asked for.)

Anyhow, another episode--I fall asleep and A DARK RIMMED-RING IS PRESENTED.  I must have gone through it. I was aware that I was completely awake, but about 6 feet over my body sleeping in the bed below.  I SCREAMED and it broke--I was in my body awake.

Another time, after several of these, (and I remember seeing things like the sheets on my bed, but that my cat was caught in them.) Always I would panic and scream and wake up in bed.  Anyhow, to combat this terror, I remembered that I had read that Carlos Castaneda finds his hands in his dream and then he can control the dream.  So I'm ready.

I find myself several feet about my sleeping body, it was very dark, and the ring was presented.  I figured I was supposed to go through it but I was too scared too. SO I RAISE MY HANDS UP IN FRONT OF MY FACE TO GAIN CONTROL OF THE EXPERIENCE AND I LIFT MY HANDS IN FRONT OF MYSELF AND THERE ARE NO HANDS, THERE ARE JUST BLACK, FILMY SHADOWS WHERE MY HANDS ARE (and of course, I scream and find myself in bed.)

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Uncertain

I hadn't slept for a really long time, and periodically I do this.  My usual bedtime routine is 150mg imiprimine (older generation antidepressant with sedative properties)--don't know why this time was different except for the prolonged reading over and over of computer sentences (careful, prolonged proofreading-not particularly interesting, just typos, etc)

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

how do you tell somebody you know you walked out of your body!! really!! It felt so weird to be completely awake I COULD SEE BUT MY EYES WERE SHUT--it felt completely real, but then strange things would happen

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes

yes-completion of a very difficult research class in graduate school!

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Completely awake--absolutely awake and aware as during the day.

Was the experience dream like in any way?   The only thing dream like was the experience the one time seeing the cat tangled up in the blankets--he wasn't really.  Another oob experience I had about 3 years before this, I traveled I suppose, to my parent's house that had been recently sold and traced the pattern in the wallpaper of my old bedroom. I felt DROWSY during that experience. But these others were not dream-like.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

I figured I was in my body even though I was completely awake and way above the bed--I bet my body in that form is a filmy "spiritual body"

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            surprise, lots of fear

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           no

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?            Uncertain

The one, the bedroom of another house; the ring actually could be the inner ring of a Native American Peace Shield, which represents God. (if you want to know more about the Peace Shield, visit Rainbow Eagle's site (long, black braids--you can't miss him)--Choctaw.

Did you see a light?           No

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes


Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? Yes

Yep-I looked at my hands and they were black filmy things, move kind of wispy exactly where I was (moving my hands.)

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes

New sight I guess--visual.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

It made me believe in one after, though. (I don't want to get lost out there.)

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?            

No, I just screamed every time and woke up in bed

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain

saw a volcano in a vivid, vivid dream "off the coast of the Pacific northwest"--still waiting for that to happen (I've had such dreams and actually saw a ghost when I was 7 years old, too.) The volcano dream was in about 1977.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes

Yep-I wanted back in

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

Well, I can see filmy white spirits when I shut my eyes in the dark, and my "gut instinct" has become a very definite message sender, but I think I had these instincts purposely honed while at Spiritualist Church. They tell me things, warn me, and really HELP me--they tell me things I wouldn't otherwise know.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

I had read in particular Jung's account of the NDE with his heart attack--really gave me the sense that this is for real--this is a direct stage in the afterworld--and that I had better prepare for it, and when, in conversation, little openings are given, I plant seeds, if people are open (ie family's of the dying at work--AND DO THEY SEE SOME NEAT STUFF--IE THEIR MOTHERS!!!!!)

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I thin people need to know this stuff, but by God, you cannot tell anyone who hasn't had any experience whatsoever, that this stuff is real.  You simply acknowledge that if the topic comes up and "I wouldn't expect you to believe this (they never do.)" However, sometimes people need this stuff. I guess I feel I am supposed to do something with this ability.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No response

absolutely--I believe and it feels good--my life, well I may not be here without the hope these experiences have given me

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

They listen and tell stories back sometimes. My brothers ride my about it. I save one special story and tell it really well about a woman who saw her mother and went all the way near the light ("my mother has the bluest eyes...I know that because she's standing right next to you--70 year old woman with a fever of 105 degrees.) Remembering these stories gives my hope and happiness!!! (+ a ufo!)

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  I felt very curious, somewhat ashamed that I was scared--felt I was given an opportunity and was too scared to take full advantage of it.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      the worst was the "golden girl"--the best was the filmy hands BECAUSE I KNOW IT WAS FOR REAL after seeing those hands

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        yeah, a ufo hovered over me for a long time in about 1976.  I joke about all of this and call myself "STARSEED"--I have a curved spine, extra bones in my thumbs and lots of allergies--I think I (and many others) have a variant DNA strain that allows for these experiences (the ufo-probably my dad checking up on me.)

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

except the oob did lots of little start ups (nothing to do with medication), before the full blown golden girl and filmy hands experiences

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

you might ask what do I think about it all, but I guess you did

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.            thanksthanksthanksthanksthanks