Susan V's Experience
3 Experiences Below
In 1974, when I was twenty-one years old, I was in college and living next door to another student. One evening my neighbor, with whom I was friendly, asked me to join in while she entertained a cousin that was visiting. She confessed to me that she wasn't really comfortable with her cousin, and she would enjoy the visit more if I were there. I agreed and met her cousin, whose name was Gary.
I liked Gary and was not quite certain why my friend did not, but it may have had something to do with the fact that Gary was missing an eye and a hand, both of which he had lost in an explosion in a chemistry class in college. I thought at the time that it sounded like something out of a cartoon, but Gary's injuries were quite real. Gary told me that he experienced phantom limb syndrome after losing his hand and he had searched for answers to the experience. Doctors told him that it was all his mind playing tricks on him, but Gary did not believe that. Eventually he learned about astral bodies and astral projection and he became an amateur hypnotist. Gary asked me if I would be interested in being hypnotized, and I agreed to do so. I had never heard of astral bodies or astral projection, and I had certainly never been hypnotized before, but I had an interest in the spiritual and mystical and I could see no harm in making the attempt.
I sat in a large, comfortable chair and Gary led me through some relaxation exercises focusing on my breathing and relaxing my body consciously. Then he asked me to allow myself to wander, so to speak, in my mind's eye and in my imagination, and tell him whatever came to me, which I did. Nothing that I thought or imagined seemed to be very important, just a process similar to the day-dreaming I had always done as a child, and the images I created didn't seem particularly compelling or meaningful, but rather very random. I felt very relaxed, but aware.
The details of the hypnotism are a story in themselves, but I will make it short here by saying that our efforts toward me having an out-of-body experience failed, but there were some very unusual things going on during the hypnotism that at the time no one in the room understood. We were all relatively young and it was early 1974. I experienced a powerful kundalini energy move from the base of my spine to the base of my skull three times prior to me finally succeeding in exiting my body. This took place each time I visualized myself as a white light being existing outside of my physical body. These experiences of energy moving up my spine caused a severe headache each time they took place. When I actually left my body we were no longer trying to achieve astral projection. I had asked that we quit attempting projection because my head was hurting, and Gary had just agreed to end the session. He had said to me, "Give me a minute to think about how to bring you out of this."
With that, I was gone. I was suddenly moving through something like space. It was dark and blue, sort of like the color of Krisna in all the Hindu images, with swirls of white light in the distance. It seemed like space, but not as dark as a night sky, and the lights were huge compared to stars, and stars is what they looked like, or rather like multiple Milky Ways. I was a white light self, and my arms were up in a Superman kind of position, straight out at the shoulders and my hands near my head. I had a sense of moving very fast, and I didn't feel like I recognized where I was so I thought I would look back and see where I was coming from. I could see myself and Gary, with a light all around us and beyond that everything was dark. I could see the position he was in, kneeling in front of me, with one elbow propped up on one knee and his head resting on that hand and looking down at the floor. It was like looking at the two of us from the moon. We were small and far away, but quite clear.
Having seen that, I thought to myself that I might look at where I was going, so I looked up, and I saw the light. It was the light, not a light, the light and it was coming closer, or I was getting closer to it. The moment I saw it all kinds of knowings broke open in side me all at once. It was multiple understandings, but they all came at once. That light was my home. I knew it completely and it was all I wanted. It was where I had come from, and it was where I was always meant to return to, and there was no doubt in my mind at all that it was my real home. The feelings were of immense love, peace and joy. Love, peace and joy such as humans do not experience in our material states. I knew that I had known before I was born that my life would be extremely difficult, and the reason I had to go through the things I had was that I had "lessons to learn and debts to pay." My attitude was kind of like what we would call a stiff upper lip but on a spiritual level - I knew my job was tough and I wanted to get down here, get it done, get it over with, and go home, and I was so happy to be going home. I cannot say that I had absolute knowledge of reincarnation, but I seemed to understand that I had died, or I seemed to recognize the experience I was having, or know that it was anticipated. I'm not sure which it was, but there was some level of recognition of returning to the light.
Then, I heard Gary very forcefully say the words, "Susan, come back!" I felt myself falling back into my body. I never made it all the way home. My despair was beyond words. I felt like my soul was screaming, and I kept my sight on the light as long as I could, consciously holding on to every moment that I possibly could. In my mind I kept saying over and over again, "This time I will remember; this time I will remember." It almost felt like I was telescoping down into myself. I woke up looking at Gary and my friend, and both of them looked terrified.
I told them what I had experienced. None of us had ever heard of anything like it, not even Gary, who had the greatest understanding of out-of-body experiences of the three of us. No one had a clue what had happened.
I had a
joy and peace that permeated me and everything around me for about three days.
It was like I saw light everywhere and in everything.
Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes Very. It's not of this world. Words are of this dimension of reality. There aren't words for that reality. Words only come close.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No
What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience? The sense that that was the real world and this world is not as real as we think. It's just a place, but that world was real, and it was my real home and my real self.
Was the experience dream like in any way? Not at all.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Profound joy, love and peace. Beyond anything I've known in life.
Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? No.
LOCATION DESCRIPTION: Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures? No
Did you see a light? Yes
Did you meet or see any other beings? No
Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No
It did not seem to be under my control. It was spontaneous and natural feeling to go to the light.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Yes Yes. Gary's position on the floor in front of me. I was in a deep trance and had my eyes closed. Gary had not noticed anything unusual about me, because he was looking down toward the floor. It was my friend who had happened to glance over at me during the time I was out of my body, and she said that the expression on my face shocked her. She had never seen anything like it; I appeared to both have a look of bliss on my face, and at the same time almost as if I was dead. They told me that she screamed, "Oh, my God, Gary, look at her!" Gary said he looked up and simply by looking at my face he knew I was not in the world with them but was someplace else, and he very naturally and without thinking commanded me very forcefully to "come back!"
all talked, I described Gary's position perfectly and both other people
confirmed my observation.
Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different? Yes I didn't have physical senses at all.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes Absolutely.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes Only of myself, however. But I had a sense that I knew about my life before I was born, that I knew specifically why I was here and what I was meant to learn, or try to learn.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you become aware of future events? No
Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body? Yes Yes, I was compelled by the person conducting the hypnosis.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Yes I have always had psychic experiences, many different kinds. I have had two other OBEs that I hope to find time to write about - both very different from this one and both equally profound, although in very different ways. One involved spirit contact, and one, while brief took place while I was fully conscious and talking and was witnessed.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes Very much so. Despite having had several psychic experiences as a child, including precognitive dreams and telepathy, I had never had a spiritual experience like this. I had also had an extremely painful life until that point, with enormous emotional suffering as a child and teenager. I did not understand how there could be a God that was good given the great suffering and cruelty that existed in the world. After this experience, I felt that the love and joy and peace of that realm and that is to come is greater than anything about this world. In the end, it makes it all okay, no matter how bad the pain here might be.
How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices? It's affected my entire life. How can I do this justice? Even a single glimpse of this transcendent truth is so much. The tiniest bit is still so much more than everything in this world. The memory has sustained me through dark times subsequent to this.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes Sometimes they are receptive, and sometimes they think I'm delusional.
What emotions did you experience following your experience? Great happiness for about seventy-two hours.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best part was the light and the emotions of love and peace and happiness. The worst part was the despair when I felt myself called back into my body.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Only other out-of-body experiences. Medications and substances do not give this kind of experience that I am aware of.
2nd Experience description:
I was in counseling with a clinical therapist due to a traumatic event. Prior to the traumatic event, an assault, I'd had extremely strong feelings that I should not attempt to go to the place where I was planning on going. After the experience, I sought out counseling. On my very first visit I told the therapist that I felt that if I had listened to myself I would not have been in the position I currently found myself in, and I wanted to explore issues like that, in essence, psychic things. The therapist assured me that we could do that and that she agreed with me and there very much was a spiritual foundation to life. I guess there are no accidents, because I must have found the only licensed clinical therapist in Houston, Texas, that was also a participant in a group of psychics and mystics.
After I had been in counseling for about 8 weeks and was not making much progress, I was sitting on a couch across from my therapist and pretty much babbling on about my life. I must have sounded like a teenager rather than a 30-year-old woman, and my therapist, without interrupting me at all, made a slight motion with her hand and spoke at the same time I was talking, saying to me, "Why don't you come out a little bit to the left for me."
I immediately experienced myself having an out-of-body experience while fully conscious and sitting up. I exited to the right, rather than the left as the therapist had told me to do. It was very much like sitting next to myself on the couch. The experience only lasted about two seconds, but while it was taking place I experienced full dual consciousness and felt as though I existed in two completely different spaces. I could both see the white light self to my right, and from the eyes of my astral/spiritual body I could see my physical self.
The two states of mind were vastly different. What concerned one did not concern the other; where my conscious self was nervous and fearful, my seemingly spiritual self was playful and something of a prankster, hence the exit to the right instead of the left.
This experience ended my discussion of whatever it was I was talking about, and my jaw hung open. My therapist looked at me and said, "Oh, you went out to the right!" So she had seen the whole thing and saw that I had gone out the opposite side that she instructed me to. She then asked me, "Do you know why you did that?" I told her I assumed it was to show her and myself that even though I had left my body per her instructions, it was completely under my own power and due to my own choice.This ended my session. I remember being stunned for hours afterward, and in retrospect it was probably not a good thing to allow me to drive home right away, because I was very shocked and disoriented.
I suddenly found myself conscious in my body, but not awake. I don't remember going back into my body, I was just there. It is the second time I have experienced that state, where I was asleep but nonetheless, conscious. I was lying on my side, and I could feel gentle stroking on my cheek and my shoulder on the side that was not against the bed. My conscious mind did not remember the out-of-body experience I had just left, and I tried to make sense of what I was feeling. I also felt inside me the most beautiful mother-love I've ever felt, and it was clearly a womanly, motherly love. I struggled to make sense of it all, and I was telling myself, "I'm dreaming; I'm asleep and I'm dreaming." Then suddenly I remembered that it was my grandmother! I was terrified. I was absolutely terrified to think that I was with a spirit. Clearly what was most comfortable for me out of body was absolutely terrifying in my conscious, waking state.
As soon as I felt any fear, she was gone. It was more instant than instant, how quickly the veil closed the very second I had any negative feelings about the experience. I turned on the light and sat up for about twenty minutes, saying several times, "I don't want to see any ghosts; I don't want to see any ghosts." This all took place around 3:30 a.m. Finally I was able to go back to sleep, and in the morning I had no memory of the experience until I was driving to work. I got up and fixed breakfast and did my normal morning without a single memory of this experience entering my mind. But as I drove to work on the highway, I suddenly remembered. I thought for a moment I was going to lose control of my car, it jolted me so much to remember, and I spoke out loud and said, "Oh, my God, I saw my dead grandmother last night."I had a profound emotional healing subsequent to this experience. I'd had an exceptionally painful childhood, and my grandmother had played a large part in that. On her deathbed she had apologized to me, but I still carried a very heavy burden of depression and suffering from the life I'd had and the apology was appreciated but did not ease my hardship. However, after this experience I felt a complete emotional healing in connection with my grandmother, and I carry no more pain whatsoever from that relationship. I have always felt that the healing has been on a Biblical level in the sense that for me, it is as powerful as if I could not walk, but now I can. And it came immediately after this out-of-body experience. I remember that we had strife, but nothing happens in me now in connection with those memories other than peace. I feel a great peace in connection with her.