two toddlers were asleep in their room when I decided to kneel down in the
living room and pray. I had never
been one to pray like that before, but I had been recently studying the bible
searching for the 'truth' as to whether or not God/Jesus, etc was real, and
which laws of the bible pertained and which did not (Old Testament versus New).
During this time, my husband and I were in the process of getting a low-income
government house and there was some question as to whether or not we would get
it. There was one house in
particular that I wanted. We had a
meeting with the Housing Department the next morning.
my knees, with eyes closed, I prayed, feeling a need for connection of some
kind. In part of my prayer, I asked
God if we were going to get the house.
All of a sudden I 'saw' a column of fire raging from above coming
straight into my body from the top of my head.
The column of fire entered me with what sounded like a rush.
The next thing I saw was my body lying on its back, arms and legs spread
out, on a huge, flat boulder. Then I
saw myself being lifted up through the air toward what I can only guess to be
heaven. At that moment, I saw a
bright, bright white light - brighter than anything I had ever seen before.
I was sitting - this is all very hard to explain - I was sitting inside a
hand of bright white light. The hand
didn't really have boundaries but the shape was there - I could see the form of
fingers but they were not physical.
They were made of light. The 'hand'
brought me closer to Him and I knew it was God.
I could not see his face but He was communicating with me.
While we were communicating, my mouth in my physical body was moving and
speaking, but not in any language.
Yet God and I were speaking to each other telepathically.
It's hard to explain because I did not notice my body below me and I knew
that I was not inside of it, yet I was aware that my mouth was physically moving
but speaking no real language that I knew of.
Having been raised Catholic, I was never taught about speaking in tongues
and I never believed it was real.
But I assume that's what I was doing.
God spoke to me, I felt such tremendous love!
I have not experienced that kind of love since.
And He/His light was brighter than anything I've ever seen.
I felt so enveloped by Him. I
asked Him if we would get the house we wanted and He told me yes.
I asked Him if we would sell our other home first, which was a single
wide trailer, and He never answered me (we never did sell that trailer).
God then showed me other things in 'heaven' and told me things about me
in the future but I am unable to remember them - as though my memory has been
Then God told me that I had to go back.
I told Him no, that I wanted to stay with Him - the happiness and love I
felt was too wonderful to leave.
Then He said it again 'you have to go back.'
Again, I said no. The third
time, He said it more forcefully and before I could argue again, I was back in
my body, in the present.
The next day, we went to our meeting about the house.
The woman proceeded to say we were approved but she thought the house we
wanted had already been sold. She
got up from her desk and said she would check to make sure.
After she left the room, my husband said 'well, I guess we will get a
different one.' I knew we were going
to get the one we wanted. And I
said, 'no, God told me it would be ours.'
She came back into the room and said that it hadn't been sold so it was
knew the answer regarding our house, but yet, I came back to the present with so
much more. I no longer needed to
search for the truth because I had found it.
Organized religion of all kinds are valid for their ability to help
humans connect with God in a way that they can understand.
All religions are pieces of God that fit to combine into a whole - sort
of like a mosaic. The truth is, God
(or Light) is love and love is God (Light).
In other words, love and light are one in the same - that which is God.
Since then, I have had different 'psychic' experiences.
Whenever I hear or read about an NDE experience and the bright white
light, I can relate. I
know/understand that feeling of unconditional love and how indescribable it is.
And I know that God is real.
I know the truth. I have also said
that if it happens again, I know that I will not come back - I won't want to
come back to earth. It was difficult
to leave that feeling of love.
Was the kind of experience
difficult to express in words?
Yes The unconditional love and how
bright the light was.
At the time of this experience, was
there an associated life threatening event?
What was your level of
consciousness and alertness during the experience?
My level of consciousness seemed to be
heightened. I was completely alert.
Was the experience dream like in any way?
It was very real.
Did you experience a separation of
your consciousness from your body?
Yes I knew my body existed 'below' me
and I was alive, but I also knew that I was not in it.
I was with God - as though my body didn't quite matter.
I watched myself being lifted up but at the same time I felt was being
lifted up. It's like I was experiencing
myself or seeing myself from all viewpoints.
What emotions did you feel during
indescribable love, joy, happiness. The
sense of love was almost overwhelming, enveloping.
Did you hear any unusual sounds or
I heard the
column of fire rush into my body but other than that, no.
Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar
religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or
Did you see a light?
The light was God - it was incredibly
bright, white. Brighter than anything
I've ever seen.
Did you meet or see any other
Not sure if talking to God is considered meeting
another being. I was 'taken or brought'
directly to Him.
Did you experiment while out of the
body or in another, altered state?
Did you observe or hear anything
regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?
Yes I was told we would get our house,
which did happen. It was confirmed the next day.
Did you notice how your 5 senses
were working, and if so, how were they different?
Did you have any sense of altered
space or time?
Uncertain During the event, I wasn't aware
of time at all. It felt I was there for
forever, but it wasn't long enough. I
didn't want to leave.
Did you have a sense of knowing,
special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
I knew that God was real. I seemed
to have a sense of what God is and isn't.
I also knew that I wasn't finished on earth yet, that I have things to do, but I
was not allowed to remember what those things were.
That's why I had to go back.
Did you reach a boundary or
limiting physical structure?
Did you become aware of future
Yes Highly accurate
Were you involved in or aware of a
decision regarding your return to the body?
Yes I was told I had to go back.
I argued that I didn't want to go back and God told me again that I had
to go back. After arguing the second
time, he told me a third time and before I could say no, I was back in my body.
I was given no choice.
Did you have any psychic,
paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have
prior to the experience?
have had premonitions that have come true.
I have channeled and heard from spirits that were later confirmed by
Did you have any changes of
attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes My attitude toward organized
religion changed. My search for truth
ended, because I realized that God is truth.
How has the experience affected
your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?
I have a difficult time
tolerating the news and cannot watch movies in which there is harm to others
involved. I am now working as a social
worker - it has taken a while for me to get here.
I want to help others.
Has your life changed specifically
as a result of your experience?
Uncertain I am not sure if it has or not.
I think I have always been on a spiritual path.
I have always known that we are here to learn.
But I am not sure if changing my life direction from business to social
work is a result from my experience or if I was always supposed to go that way.
It's been 30 years - my path was not a direct path but a wandering one.
I now know that I am where I am supposed to be.
Have you shared this experience
Yes I have told this and other
experiences to several people. I don't
know of their reactions necessarily. Most
believe me, or so they say. It's almost
as though I am compelled to tell people.
What emotions did you experience
following your experience?
elation. I could not stop smiling!
But I also felt a sense of sadness because I wanted to be back there and
What was the best and worst part of
Best part was
speaking to God, being enveloped in love/light.
The worst was having to come back.
Following the experience, have you
had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced
any part of the experience?