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Simmi G's Experience

Experience description:   

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

This is not a NDE, with the cessation of biological functions, but I experienced the death of my ego.

I was at a spiritual retreat and the organizer had asked us all to state our intention for the evening. I used to meditate when I was a child and in my minds eye I would see a white light and an image of the Hindu God- Krishna. In my twenties I had stopped meditating and had re-started a few years prior to this event. I jokingly said my intention was to see 'Krishna' as I had seen Him once as a child. I was hoping for a vision I guess, although was certain that I would not see anything.

As the meditation started I suddenly became overwhelmed by the feeling of asking for forgiveness. I sat in my corner and begged for forgiveness from every person, animal, insect, thing I had ever hurt knowingly or unknowingly.

Once that feeling passed I closed my eyes and I heard a pop in the center of my brain and heard the words ' I am the Creator' in my mind.

Then from the center of my brain a white light raced out 360 degrees and as it did, it shattered my reality and sense of self.

In my mind there was White light, that was self luminous and infinite and in all directions. I cannot say that I was one with the light, as in that state the 'I-me' did not exist. There was just light and it was conscious. There was no time. The light then spoke and said 'I AM' and then it spoke again and said ' Brahman.'

In my mind I did not exist, had never existed and there was only this conscious light that was in every molecule, atom of the infinite Universe.

In 3 D, or should I say, the part of be below my brain, I apparently was weeping uncontrollably and people were holding me. But, in my mind, I did not exist.

The light then receded back into my brain and as it did the room came into being, my mind came into being and I became Me again.

In this reality, apparently 15 minutes had passed, but in my mind It could have been a second or eternity.

When I returned into myself I felt like I understood the 'Omni' meaning of God. That light was God, and He was omnipresent, Omnipotent and Omnipresent as He was in everything.

At that time I did not know what ' I AM' meant but after the experience I understood this concept deeply.

'I AM, therefore It is'

I AM and that is all there is to know.

Also I did not know what 'Brahman' meant and later found out that it is the Sanskrit word for ' God Almighty' or 'The Ultimate Reality.'

I learned that what I had experienced is a state called ' Samadhi' in Hinduism, where the individual ego dissolves into all that is, never knowing any separation- The drop returning into the ocean.

I know believe that that is what happens at the moment of death. The consciousness that resides in and animates the body, gets released back into the ocean of infinity and knows its true nature.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     In that state time did not exist and I did not exist. It was only after returning to myself was I able to explain this in a linear way.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I did not exist in that state. But the light was the highest level of consciousness.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   NA

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Only light

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   no sound. When the light spoke it spoke in thought. There was no sound.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   The light was Bliss. I did not feel any emotions as I did not exist.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   Please see body of report

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I did not hear a voice as there was no separation between the light and me. But, the light spoke/thought.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm

The realm was an ocean of conscious light that was in every atom of the Universe.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
In that state there was no time


Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe

When I returned into being myself, I understood the nature of reality. I understood that the conscious light is what animates the whole Universe. It is the Truth. It is in everything and knows everything intimately.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Uncertain   When I returned into my ego self, I knew that the truth is the light. It is the divine matrix, the quantum field, the holy ghost, the ultimate reality.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   The conscious light is God. Only that light exists. Everything else is an illusion.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   See body of report

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   See body of report

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Yes  


During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   No  

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I had no idea about these states of consciousness.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience 
 
My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
Yes   I began to appreciate the uniqueness of individual creation. I realized that in this life we are meant to be exactly who we are as in the oneness state there is only the one.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   I had many psychic experiences and also became a medium/being able to connect to energies that have passed over.    

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  I shared this with people and most people find it hard to understand.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   I have read about NDE

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real  

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real  

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes  

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I meditate more

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No     

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes  

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?       I think an organization such as this could help change our relationship to death and dying. There is a lack of this dialogue between people and there is a lot of fear around death, which is ultimately a natural process.