Once on the delivery table I was told to push, etc. and I felt myself become overcome with exhaustion from the pain. The pain was so intense and with each contraction I became more exhausted and felt like I was fading away. The doctor yelled an order to the nurse for forceps and came around to talk to me. He was face to face with me and was talking me but I could not understand anything he said. Then I noticed something that caught my eye to the left side of the room. Smoke was billowing or barreling into the room! It was moving and churning and the colors were dark, gray and white all swirling together. I was amazed that they were letting someone smoke in the room. I know realize this may have really been the beginning of the infamous "tunnel" forming. Then I thought how sad it would be that I would not be there to see someone else raise my baby/son as I was fading away pretty quickly at this point.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?   Uncertain    Failed Epidural with this Birth

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?   No   

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?   Uncertain    I remember thinking sadly I would never see/be there for my baby. This thought seemed "long-term" or final as if I would be leaving/dying maybe?

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?   Very alert but starting to fade away.

Was the experience dream like in any way?   NO!!!

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?    Sadness - Regret

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?    I could not understand any words the doctor was speaking - unintelligible

Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No   

Did you see a light?    Uncertain    I saw "Smoke" - or a tunnel forming which had some darkness and lightness.

Did you meet or see any other beings?    No   

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?   No   

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?   No   

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?    Yes    I knew I could not understand the words the doctor was saying. I could hear, but not understand.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?    No   

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes    I had a knowing or sadness that I may not be around to see or raise my baby.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?    No   

Did you become aware of future events?    No   

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?    Yes    I remember much sadness at the realization of not seeing or raising my baby. I wanted to see and raise my baby so much so I think I decided to fight to stay.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?    Yes    Empathic

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes    Definite belief of the afterlife

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?    Religiously I am more open to ALL religions/ no one religion is 100% correct

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes    More open to other aspects of spirituality such as reincarnation, etc.

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes    husband - unsure if it influenced him or if he believed me

What was the best and worst part of your experience?   worst - pain and thought that I may be "leaving" = dying? and leaving my baby.   

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No           

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes