I had an experience a
few years ago that was NOT a dream but it did happen after I went to sleep - it
was 100% real. I had just gone through about a year of faith shattering
experience - left my husband and the Bahai Faith (for all intents and purposes
as I wasn't about to represent the Faith in my condition) and moved to a small
town for work. I was in a major life transition. I went to sleep one night and
something happened to me that was not a dream and was not a NDE. I was though,
given a gift. A gift of exposure to the next world.
I was accompanied by an
unknown entity of the purest love. I was told I was being given a gift and I
was suddenly plunged into The Sea of Eternity; the purest most powerful love
beyond all imagining, it was the essence of everything. I was at once one with
everything that had been and everything that would be in an instant. I was
infinitely connected to everything without separation while still having an
individual consciousness. This space of infinity was like being the the middle
of every firework that had ever gone off all in once beautiful blaze of
unspeakable brilliance. The color so fantastical, earthly eyes have never seen
the colors that existed there. Energy made of pure love was winding around in a
massive whirling energy that threw me into complete ecstasy. It was so loud
that it penetrated everything - but the sound itself was pure love and ecstasy.
A circular flow of energy and lights dazzling beyond description.
That ecstasy was so
powerful, so all consuming my physical body was flailing around on my bed. I
could not wake up but was aware of my "sleep". My body was WRITHING in this
ecstasy and I was moaning and groaning at the top of my physical lungs while I
was recognizing my oneness with the Essence of All Things. This was no pain -
but a joy so beyond comprehension that my physical body could not bear the sheer
power of it. I might have been likened to an electrical outlet trying to contain
the power of the whole world's electricity supply at once. I think my body
reacted so strongly because I was NOT in a near death state and was not detached
from my body. A veil to the other world was being lifted for a moment for me so
my body directly reacted to the force I was exposed to by writing and moaning -
the ecstasy was too great for a physical being to bear.
The whole time I was
experiencing this unbearable LOVE, I was being told "Everything is OK. You're
going to be alright". It was not reassuring me in the moment because of what
was happening with my body that was flailing with Divine Passion, it was giving
me reassurance regarding ME and my life. It was just pure acceptance.
With the purest wash of
love and joy filtrating everything I was and becoming one with the Love all at
once. I was then brought back and allowed to come out of it. I "awoke" drenched
in sweat and panting like I'd run a marathon. I knew if I succumbed to the
rapturous love I would not come back - however, with this knowledge it's
important to know that death was not on the table as a choice - it was just an
offer to take a swim in the Ocean of Life, not to become a fish and live in it.
received no religious message or reassurance of faith as a Bahai. I was just
allowed this gift of reality. I have struggled to understand why I was given
this gift. It is affecting me more now 8 years later than it did at the time in
regards to my life. Which is why I went searching for others like me and found
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Yes The love, the fireworks of lights and colors that don't exist here, the
ecstasy, the oneness with all things that had been and would ever be and the
knowing of it all - all at once.
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening
What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?
Fully conscious in regards to knowing I was me, that it was not a dream, that it
was really happening, that my body was "asleep" in my room and I was being taken
some where to be given a gift.
Was the experience dream like in any way?
In no way was it dream like except in my attempts to describe it. The
difference is what happened was real and dreams are not so that was confounding.
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes I never lost awareness of my body as I was always connected to it. But
my consciousness did go somewhere else, to another dimension.
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
Ecstasy beyond comprehension or definition. Supreme, pure all consuming Love,
unconditional creative love.
you hear any unusual sounds or noises?
the sound of energy WOM, WOM, WOM slowly (much slower than a heart beat but it
was regular. It was the most beautiful sound and I could feel it go through me,
I was a part of it. It was a circle of energy and light and power and love that
made the sound. Almost like what one might hear in a powerful electric plant
but it was pure beauty.
Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar
religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or
No Nothing physical. Only the Sea of Eternity and KNOWLEDGE and LOVE. If
you can call that a place. Nothing structural. Just fireworks of unknowable
you see a light?
Yes I saw and was one with an ocean of fireworks light, dazzling and
you meet or see any other beings?
Yes I was accompanied by another consciousness that was pure love who took
me to the Sea of Eternity.
you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
No I was made aware of everything that had been and everything that would
be as I was one with it all. But I could not recount any of it, only a shabby
ability to recount what it FELT like.
you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they
Yes My physical body was exploding in utter rapture.
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes There was no time.
you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or
Yes I knew what I was being shown was a gift. I was allowed to know
all that ever has been and all that ever would be but I could not bring that
back with me. Only that it existed and was in perfect order. I knew I was not
dying nor was I close to death or sick in any way and I've never had a seizure
of any kind. I did know I could die if allowed to stay because it would be
impossible for my physical body to bear the sheer force of the Love.
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
you become aware of future events?
Yes Yes, as I was allowed to be one with all that has been and all that will
be. But I wasn't allowed to interpret and keep it in my physical consciousness
because I can not contain it while in form.
Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the
Uncertain I don't recall now. I think I willed myself from the
experience because I knew my body could not bear another second of the Ecstasy
in the Sea of Eternity without dying from it. Like it would short circuit my
body or something if I stayed any longer.
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
that you did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain Uncertain because I am not sure I didn't have them before. I did
become more intuitive I believe, my dreams more vivid and useful in the years to
come. I have been more aware perhaps, of my intuitiveness and not blocked it
you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes I continued to move away from religious practice but continued to move
towards investigating more ways to communicate with the Divine through alternate
means, trying to make sense of it.
has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices?
spirituality became stronger in a new way. I knew this existed but being part
of it myself made being able to reconnect to the Divine so much easier and
your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes I think it gave me the courage to move on with my life and that I was on
the right track by having left my old life. Why else would I be told everything
was OK? I divorced my husband some time later, got remarried and had a son at
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes No one has been influenced to my knowledge. No one I've met yet seems
to have any appreciation or context for which to appreciate it in. The only
comfort I've gotten is from NDE stories.
What emotions did you experience following your experience?
me", "I am not worthy of such a gift", I left my religion why would I be given
this insight?" "no one is going to believe me" and of course massive,
What was the best and worst part of your experience?
was knowing that love and ecstasy is there and awaits us, it's there, it's real
but we just can't bear it in physical form. That's why it's only for when
you're a soul free from physical form.
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
No Nothing could accurately or comprehensively describe what I
experienced. But, to the best of my ability, yes.