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Seva H's Experience

Experience description:   

I should preface this by saying that when this happened to me, I was not taking any medication.  There was no alcohol or drugs involved either, as I won’t even take aspirin and I will have a glass of wine only rarely, and had not had any in at least a few weeks.   I’ve never had an experience like this before, and I have not had another to date. 

This happened to me 2 years ago while I was standing in my kitchen having a discussion with 5 other people.  I can still remember it as if it were yesterday.  I was standing behind the kitchen island with my back facing the wall.  Suddenly I remember feeling like my blood pressure had quickly gone very high (I don’t have any blood pressure or heart problems)..  Then in less than a blink of an eye I was out of my body and was behind it.  My perspective was of being several feet back, even though I was hovering near the kitchen wall behind my body, which was only maybe  3 feet away.  I say this because everything seemed farther away.  I sensed that I was formless, but orb like, like a clear small orb, or spark.  Yet I felt huge somehow, but in a way that is difficult to describe. 

I immediately remembered that this perspective was the real me (like waking up from a dream and remembering that you are the real you, not the dream you). I could see the entire kitchen and everyone standing around, and I noticed my body standing  away from me and yet I felt absolutely no connection to it.  I do not mean only that I had no emotional connection to it, which I didn’t, but that I had no bodily sensations at all, nor would I be able to control it’s movements.  And my vision was not connected to my body in any way.  As a matter of fact, I could not see what the eyes of my body were seeing.  I was a separate entity that was viewing the back of my body, and I was looking in the same direction that my body was facing. 

Of course that body was definitely NOT me...how did I forget that?  There seemed to be a slight wavy distortion between the real me (which was pure consciousness) and everything I was observing. In that moment I understood that the physical/material world was an illusion.  In that state, it couldn't be more obvious. I also understood that the bodies in the room were also an illusion, and that the real me (and the real others) could move in and out of the body easily.  I remember having a thought that when in the body, the material world looks so real, but from my consciousness perspective, it appeared dense, heavy and artificial.  The perspective I was in was really the real deal, and I’ve always known that (I am speaking of my consciousness, because the physical body me never knew that). 

I recall having no emotional attachment to anything.  Not the people, not my body, or the discussion going on, or even the surroundings.  Which is completely opposite of my feelings while in my body...these people were family and people I knew.  The house is my pride and joy as it was gifted to me by my grandmother and I had great attachment to it, and the discussion taking place I had a vested interest in. Yet, from my consciousness perspective none of that existed.  However, I did have a sense of detached fascination/curiosity with all of it.  Not the discussion itself, but the dynamics and the interactions (energy) between everyone in the room.  I was observing everything with an almost playful curiosity/fascination.  But like I said, absolutely no emotional attachment.  I remember having a thought that the body might die, and that I had jumped out before it did. I had this sensation of timelessness.  By that I mean, where I was, there was no time.  I was viewing an illusionary world, but I was not in that world...there was a division of some kind.  As soon as I left my body, my perspective did not involve a time factor.  I remembered that I was timeless as well.  I did not end, and never would.  I just always was.  It seemed that in that perspective, there was a knowing that everything was perfect.  There was no fear or negativity either.  Those too were also illusions.  All of this was obvious to my consciousness.

Then without even thinking about it, in less than a blink of an eye, I was back in my body.  I recall this "whoosh" sound in my ears and then my hearing and vision kicked in.  I looked around the room with my mouth open and I remember thinking "what the f#%k"???  I remember saying something like "I'm going out to the garden for a minute", and I left the house.  When I got outside, I sat down and for about 20 minutes I tried to make sense of what had just happened.  I had never experienced anything like what had just happened in all my 47 years.  I wondered if I had some kind of stroke, but I didn't seem to have any indication of that.  I thought maybe it was an aneurism, and maybe I should go to the hospital.  But I wasn't scared.  I thought if I died, it wasn't a big deal because I was just outside my body and I was fine.  Then I realized death isn't death..you just continue on…somewhere else.  Except that somewhere else is real...really real.  And this world of the physical isn’t real at all.

I have had numerous knowings since then and I have been writing them down.  This experience has changed me completely, to say the least.  Most of that in a wonderful way.  The only down side to my experience has been that I still recognize that the world I live in, isn't real.  So, sometimes it's difficult to connect fully.  I don't see it as fake as I did while out of the body, but some of that does continue to linger and it keeps me from being fully in it like before my experience. I often find myself touching things just to test their solidness.  I also recognize the consciousness in other people, animal and living things.  I believe animals are interfacing with this world more with their consciousness perspective.  Not so much humans, however.  Like me (before my experience) they don’t understand that they are not their bodies.  I find I  have even more compassion for people now, because I know they are caught in an illusion, and do not know who they really are.  They really do not have a clue.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Uncertain  I don't know.  My consciousness seemed to think that the body was going to die so it left it.  But when I didn't die, it jumped back in.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     Yes!  I think we don't have the frame of reference in the physical world to describe such an experience. Some aspects even seem contradictory, and yet in the consciousness perspective they make perfect sense.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    During the whole time.  Everything was very clear.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I felt like the physical world was dense and kind of fake, and that my perspective outside of the body was crystal clear and full.  It's kind of a contradiction, but I felt like I was a small clear orb or spark, but that my consciousness was huge.  It was a very alert and clear perspective that made me feel like the physical perspective could not compare.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Everyday vision = dull

Experience vision = super clear and full (all encompassing). 

However, even I did see a slight wavy separation between the physical world and wherever my perspective was.  I could tell the difference.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Interestingly, I could hear clearly, but I was not interested in what was being said around me, so I didn't place my awareness on hearing.  My full awareness was on the dynamics between the people in the room and their individual energies.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   I could see everything going on in the room.  I could hear it too, but it seems I had the ability to place my awareness wherever I wanted, so my awareness was more focused on the scene and the energies of the people in the room.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Calm, curious, fascinated, happy.  No negative emotions at all.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Uncertain   Not a light, no.  A wavy separation is what I saw.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   Uncertain   I'm still not sure.  I think there was a flash of something in my past.  It's frustrating...almost like having a name on the tip of tongue, but I can't quite get it out.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   Some unfamiliar and strange place

There was definitely a separation from where I was and the physical world I was viewing.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
This a difficult one.  On one hand, everything seemed to be happening at once, and yet, there was no understanding of "time".

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe
I understood a great deal during that experience, and I still continue to have these flashes of insights or knowings.  They just come to me...it's not something I can sit and try and work out.  I just have to wait for them to come to me.  But when they do, it's really fascinating stuff.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Uncertain
Not a physical boundary, just that wavy separation between the physical world and where my consciousness was.

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  Scenes from my personal future 
There were things that came to me and still continue to come to me.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   I immediately "remembered" that my awareness/consciousness was eternal.  That I always was, and always will be, and that the body was an illusion.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Uncertain   It felt like everything was one.  So God would be part of that same "one".  I did not sense a separation, as we do in the physical.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   I fully understood during my experience that I've always existed, and always will.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   It wasn't information, it was and awareness or rather, I remembered that everything is one.  There is only one.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Uncertain   Yes...it's all an illusion.  Once outside of the body, none of that exists.  The best way I can describe it is, like being in a very vivid dream where you are convinced that what you are experiencing is real.  Until you wake up, and realize what a realistic dream you had, but it was only a dream..none of it was real.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes   Yes...it's all an illusion.  Once outside of the body, none of that exists.  The best way I can describe it is, like being in a very vivid dream where you are convinced that what you are experiencing is real.  Until you wake up, and realize what a realistic dream you had, but it was only a dream..none of it was real.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   I felt like my true nature was love for everything.  This is difficult to describe, but I had no negative emotions about anything or anyone.  If anything it felt like I loved everything, and everything loved me.  The one loved itself.  And everything is part of the one.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Yes   Oh yes, I did!  During my experience, and it still continues.  There is too much to write here.  I'm trying to compile everything in some kind of readable order.  I felt like I was connected to all knowledge.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   I understood who we are...who we really are.  And that the physical world is an illusion.  It's perceived as the real deal while in the body, but once of the body, the illusion is evident.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   I don't think it matters what your beliefs are.  Having an experience like this creates such a state of awareness that it's going to be dramatically different than what we understand in the physical world.  It's a game changer!

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   It's as clear to me now as it was when it happened.  I can't remember all the events of that day, and I certainly can't remember what I had for lunch last week, but that event remains with me with the same vividness as if it just happened today.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I feel that I do not have to be afraid of anything.  I don't really read the news anymore, and I don't worry about the things I used to worry about.  I see people differently now as I recognize the consciousness in them as well.  And I see everyone as part of the "One".  I keep thinking someday we will all figure it out and then that will be our awakening moment.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
Yes   Yes, many.  One of them is that I think people who have had NDEs have a special "job" to do, and that is to tell their story.  I think that is one of the reasons why we all "came back".  To let others know.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   Something about dreams.  I keep getting messages in dreams.  But I often find them frustrating because I can't seem to get the hang of understanding them.  For instance, I'll have dreams about names, people, events, but without context.  Then in the morning or sometime during the same day, I'll read or hear about that event, or that person, place or name.  And a lot of it is obscure stuff.  I find it frustrating.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
All of it!  The whole experience was very meaningful.  I feel like I understand not only who I am, but who we all are.  There is no death.  We do not end...we just go on and on.....

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  I shared it with my fiancée at the time, and they found it fascinating.  I've shared it with 2-3 others, but I had the feeling they thought I had some kind of mental break.  I will find a way to share it further, because I think it's important, not only for me, but for all those who have had these experiences.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   I have heard of them, and thought they were fascinating.  Especially the ones about people meeting their deceased relatives and seeing Jesus.    After I had my experience, I remember thinking how not only different mine was from what I had heard of regarding such experiences, but how difficult it is to describe the experience.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I was so deeply affected by it, and I still am.  But for at least a year, I could not even stop thinking about it.  I had never experienced anything like that in my life, and the effects of the experience have been so substantial that they have changed my life.  There is no doubt that my experience was real, and I never question that.  I do wish however, that I could find a way to better understand why this physical reality feels so real, and yet when out of the body, it is so obviously an illusion.  That part still messes with my head.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   It's not changed for me.  Its as real now as it was then.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   In some ways I feel closer to others.  Yet, in other ways, it's difficult because even if I share my experience with them, they can't really understand it.  They can't understand how I have been affected by experiencing myself outside of my body and what I "remembered" about our true nature and the fact that we are all "one".

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I don't go to church any longer, and I don't really pray like I used to.  I feel connected to God and if I can put my awareness into that connection, then that is real prayer.  I also think about who Jesus really was and what he really knew, and I'm sure we don't have the real story.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No     

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   I would only say that there are a lot of understandings or knowings that I have as a result of this experience, but I'm still working on putting them down on paper properly, so they are not all reflected in this questionnaire.

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?       I think it's important that NDErs experiences be shared with the world.  I believe that is our purpose, for all of us to share our experiences so that everyone can understand who they are, and that we are all in fact ONE.  If we can do this, we can change the world for the better.  I think that is why we are all still here.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?                        I think your questionnaire is very good!  Thank you for giving us a place to write our experiences.