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Scott M's Experience

Experience description:   

My expanded consciousness experience, at least this one (I've had several others similar to it), followed 4 nights and 5 days of no sleep whatsoever due to extreme neck pain. After this time period of 5 days, during the morning of the 5th day, I sat in the chair I found most comfort in and started to meditate, but I was so tired I allowed my head to drop forward a bit, which was the only movement I could make with my neck at the time due to extreme pain otherwise.

  At some point I lost consciousness, but I didn't realize that I had done so, or fallen asleep, because I found myself to be formless but at one with life itself. It was as if I was time and space and flowing all at the same time. There was a great flow and roar as if waves of the ocean were crashing all the time, but it was a soft roar that didn't irritate at all. It was just what is. It was life, the movement or flow of life.

  It was as if I was in a flow, as if in a river, but no water, just is-ness or life. And though it was not a tunnel I was flowing in or through, all of a sudden I saw a sort of port hole, as if on a ship, to my right side, as if there was a tunnel wall within which this hole appeared. And I wondered what this hole or window could be. As soon as I wondered, my emotion of wonder took me into this window, which then became a tunnel as I entered. I could see that at the end of the tunnel was a sort of tiny little universe all by itself, and my wonder about it took me directly into this universe.

  In the blink of an eye, I knew I was coming to the earth. And in another instant I came into a physical body, but I didn't know what it was or where I was. Because I was all of a sudden in this body, I passionately wanted to know who I was. Before this I never wondered who I was. I knew who I was: I was everything and everyone. We are all this; that is we are everything and everyone at this level of our consciousness. Now that I was thoroughly in this body though I really needed to know who I was.

  So I looked and saw that I had legs and that I was sitting in a body sitting in a chair. Then I realized: "Oh, these are Scott's legs." At that instant, I just said, "Scott's legs" in my mind because I wasn't identified with the Scott who I had been and now am! And then I looked at the room and said, "Oh, and I am in Scott's office." At this point, I realized, "Oh, I am Scott." Then I didn't need to know who I was anymore, but now I realized I was very much more than "Scott," and that I can, we all can, identify as a very much more expanded sense of ourselves having an experience in a very small part of everything in a human body.

  I recalled tingling all over as if amazing life was flowing through me, and in another day my neck pain disappeared. I also remembered having had a somewhat similar experience when I was in law school in San Diego about 22 years earlier. It was spring of 1977. I had been studying law cases, but I was also interested in world religions and had been studying about them also. As I was reading a law case I looked out the window to contemplate. As I was looking, a question I wondered about came back into my mind, and I asked, really wanting to know: "God, are you evolving too?"

  In an instant the whole of reality in front of me changed demeanor. I could still see the house below my window, the harbor, the airport in the distance and Point Loma, but all of a sudden it was all connected. Everything was one life. I just knew that I was part of it or really in some expanded part of me I was all of it! I knew that if I moved it would change reality and thus evolve it. In fact, I moved my little finger and it seemed like that small motion changed all reality. It was clear that everything we think or do affects everything.

  Then someone knocked at my door and the whole experience shifted, most likely because the knock called my focus to it and to whomever might be there, and I again became my normal self. But the experience I had was so memorable I've never forgotten it.

  Since that experience I had the one I wrote of first, where I had the neck pain so badly I couldn't sleep for 5 days. However, I've also had two more experiences like the one in law school, just a bit more extensive. After law school I continued to study about world religions and in fact edited a magazine devoted to comparative study of religion and science. I was always intrigued by statements in the various religions that we are all one or that God is one, but so many dogmas say that we are separate from God. That used to bother me, but it doesn't anymore, because I know from my experiences that it isn't true. I now know that we are the same state of being that what people call "God" truly is. We are all God. We are all one Being!

  So here are the two additional experiences. The first one didn't really convince me that we are all one Being, but it added fuel to the fire that was happening within me in my quest to know for sure for myself. After law school and working as editor of the magazine of comparative studies, I moved to Seattle to take a master's degree in psychotherapy. During my studies I needed to experience a lot of different kinds of therapy in order to prepare to practice. It was during the testing of one of these that I again had the experience of being one with everything, one Being. This was in 1986.

  My advisor requested that I go to a therapist who was practicing Rebirthing, a form of breathing therapy. During the session I felt relaxed and then immediately after when I was about to leave the clinic, I felt as if I was one with everything again. I saw that everything was perfect just the way it was. I went down the stairs in this state of consciousness, and opened the door to the sidewalk outside. Just as I was about to step out, a man passed, and it was perfect. I saw that everyone and everything is all in perfect order and continues to be, no matter what happens. Then I had a concerned thought about my wife, and the experience ended.

  I practiced this breathing therapy on my own and once again had the experience during the breathing practice of being one, being one Being. Life goes on, however, normally that is, but because of these experiences I began more and more to learn and grow to understand how connected we all are. You really can't say a mean thing to someone and not affect yourself. You can't have a negative thought that doesn't affect you and others in some way.

  The last time I had this kind of consciousness expanding experience was more recent, and it was the most profound. It happened in bed one night just after I awakened, about midnight, year 2007. I found myself to be absolutely at one again, one very powerful state of Being. This time I felt so tingly all over my body, and the experience was so deep and palpable, so emphatically real and clear that we are all one in one state of ever flowing Being, that it left me knowing without a doubt that all those statements in all the religions about us being one with God, or in Buddhism being in one state of Being (Sunyata) or Hinduism being Advaita I thinkůbut it doesn't matter what you call itůIt doesn't care what you call it and it doesn't judge you or anyone and no matter what happens it doesn't freak out, It just goes on Being and nothing can harm it. It is total and infinite abundance. I know it. It is totally true. Somehow this state of Being showed me that it is Infinite, powerful, ever ongoing and completely and timelessly and forever and most emphatically abundant. Not just abundant as in food, etc., but abundant in everything good and well and healthy. There is not a bit of lack and there never will be. Everything you've ever wanted is there and will come to you, but just not all at once. (It would hurt!)

  Because of this experience I had to awaken my wife who was lying next to me. She was not irritated as she could tell something profound was coming from me. I was in a state of calm ecstasy all throughout my being; it felt better than 1000 orgasms all at once, way better! All I could say to her was, "We are all one. It's true. We are all one. In fact, I am talking to me when I am talking to you now. There's no doubt, we are one." The top of my head was tingling. I wanted to go back to that state of Being, and I started to go easily, but some fear came in to my mind as I started to slip away from identification with my body again and become one. I wondered if I would lose my identity, and the fear pulled all my focus right back into my body.

  However, now I know, and since that experience I've tried to feel that state of Being as much as possible. I can sometimes come close to it, and it feels so good I try often. I think soon I will be able to have that experience again, fully, and not fear losing my identity as an individual too, but hold on to it and have the full, expanded sense I seem to have experience so many times. I wish everyone could experience these things, because it seems it would stop all wars, cheating, avarice and any other mean thing one would do to another. It reminds me of the saying that "whatever you do to one of these you do to me." It's true!

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     There really aren't words to describe the beauty and the oneness and the power of these most expanded states of consciousness of Being that I experienced (and I know others have).

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I hope I answered this question well enough above, but the highest level was when feeling that there is just one state of Being and we are all it, all connected with one another and everything else in existence.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I think I did.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   I think I did so.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   The only difference is in my comments above.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Uncertain   As you can see, I didn't really have an NDE, but rather ECEs (expanded consciousness experiences), so I think this question perhaps doesn't apply.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Ecstasy!  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   Yes   I did so in the one experience above.

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   There was light around me that was soft and bright at the same time, but it wasn't from earthly lights.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
I think I described it already. The Being I experienced was one Being or one state of Being that is all that is.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
I think I described it enough in my main text?

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was not time, just Being!

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe
I understood that all is one, all is unfolding perfectly, we are part of the unfolding and play a role in it, that it will never end, is infinite, and completely abundant and full of joy. We can be a lot more joyful in our individual lives, ecstatic as a matter of fact. It's right here!

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Supreme Being is all there is and it's through all of us and everything there is!

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I think I've described this enough?

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Yes   There are no difficulties or hardships! You create your own challenges and can fully solve all problems. Problems are just opportunities for joyful solutions. Joy in the process and joy in the goal! It's ongoing.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No   There are no difficulties or hardships! You create your own challenges and can fully solve all problems. Problems are just opportunities for joyful solutions. Joy in the process and joy in the goal! It's ongoing.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   Love is who we are. Love is the state of Being I experience. Love is oneness and who we are.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   That we are all one state of Being!

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Until I had the experiences of being one I still doubted the connection and intimacy of being one. Everything about each of us and everything is known by Intelligence beyond our individuality!

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   I think I did so, but these experiences were so profound that I actually remember them better than normal life details. Your questions below talk about God existing or not, and that limits my answers, but when I select "God exists" I mean Super Intelligent, compassionate, infinite Being exists. My experiences showed me that a separate God with a great white beard is a construct of religious dogma!

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I am happier, pleased to assist others, hopeful, have no fear of lack of money or any other thing (the universe is abundant), want to be happy, happy, happy and then whenever need be, dead! But there is no death. In fact, what we so often call "Death" is actually a state if incredible ecstacy! Like 1000 orgasms.

My experience directly resulted in:  
Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
Uncertain   I already had my values in place, but the experience made me more confident in them: We are all one and need to be good to one another and treat each other as we would want to be treated, and ease up on ourselves, no fear, live life with abandon and joy (not license, just with joy).

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   All of it!

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Yes   I can see inside people's bodies and know what is going on for them in their organs, etc. and what they need to do to heal!

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
All of it!

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  Some did not want to hear it, but I was already very discerning about whomever I told, so mostly I picked those I knew were open. Some of them shared similar experiences!

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Yes   I had read Raymond Moody's books, Ken Ring's and several others through the years, starting in 1980 or so.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I viewed all as real, including the first one, and related it to the understanding I had at the time. I had already read about concepts of oneness prior to my first experience, so it helped me understand the concepts better!

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   It is so real, and I can see it everyday. It makes everyday life all the more magical. I still have my times of tiredness, etc. and normal individual life, but it is all so much more wonderful now that I've experience this state of Being, of holiness really that infuses every moment and everything. And it's not serious, as in pious, it's joyful!

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   More compassion, ease, grace, happiness, understanding, patience.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   Everyday is a holy day now, not a pious day, but holy, full of holiness in everything. If you just look, there it is! It's everywhere and in everything, and it's joyful. When you meet people in joy, even if they don't know it, they are in harmony with this great state of Being, which is joy and love.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Yes   As I described I had several of these experiences through the years from 1977 through 2006.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   Not at this time :-)

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes    Please offer any suggestions that you may have to improve this questionnaire.  Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?  

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?        Help others understand by what you are already doing!

Please offer any suggestions that you may have to improve this questionnaire.  Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?                    You did a great job!