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Sandy D's Experience

Experience description:   

At the time I had my experience, I was living in typical suburbia with my 2 older sisters, a little brother and my folks - I was 12 years old.  Across the street from my house lived (conveniently), my parent's attorney, his pregnant wife and their two year old daughter.  My sisters and I babysat often for them and many times, they would plan an entire evening out - so one of us would just stay the night with the two-year old.  We were all close friends and with my folks across the street, it worked for everyone. 

One evening, my mother received a phone call from the neighbors. Her husband (the attorney) was out of town on business and she felt safer having someone stay the night if we wouldn't mind since she was so close to her due date.  I volunteered....it was like a second home. No big deal. 

I headed over in my pajamas and everyone was pretty much already in bed. The little girl was asleep and her mother was reading a book in bed. I asked how she was doing - then told her goodnight and went to the spare room - which is where I always slept when I stayed the night. 

I laid down on my back - and remember feeling so relaxed and thinking how comfortable the bed was.  I also remember leaving the lamp on next to the bed and thinking I needed to turn it off - but I was just so relaxed it seemed like such an effort. 

The next thing I remember wasn't a physical "getting up" or "out" of my body...I just remember standing next to the bed with my back to the bed and moving.  I wasn't walking or flying...I suppose you could say "floating" is the easiest way to describe it.  I remember looking down at my feet and seeing myself (somewhat misty?)...seeing my feet about a foot off of the floor. What can't be described is the feeling I had - that euphoria (which doesn't even come close to describing it).  I wasn't afraid, I KNEW I wanted to be there.  Everything was right, perfect, and without much thinking - I left the bedroom. 

No, I didn't open the door - I moved through it (but NOT like the movie Ghost) - it was something I was just able to do and it seemed right and perfect and I had this incredible overflowing of positive, wonderful, good feeling emotions and again...just everything being in the moment and absolutely perfect - but again there's really no "good" way to describe it. Words are inadequate - useless, really. 

I remember going down the hallway, into the family room - to this day I remember the carpet, the magazines sitting on the coffee table, the green houseplant, and what I assumed to be the moon!  The moon was brilliant shining so brightly through the sliding glass door that it was casting shadows in the family room. Everything was brilliant, I wanted to experience this feeling - this moment forever.  I remember every detail about moving through the house that night - everything was so vivid.  I made it through the family room - experiencing everything in a completely different - and most perfect way...and then I made it to the threshold of the kitchen.  That's when it happened - something grabbed me.  I've described it as someone grabbing your waist from behind with both arms wrapped around you and pulling you QUICKLY - that's exactly how it felt and I was literally bent in half reaching towards where I had just been (feet in the air - I'd been "floating"...it's amazing) and not wanting to go wherever "it" was taking me. I didn't want to go anywhere but I wanted to stay right in that moment. 

I can remember being pulled (against my will and straining as hard as I could to get away), backwards through the moonlit family room, the hallway...and the last thing I remember before opening my eyes was looking over my shoulder and seeing the dark wooden door of the bedroom.   

I opened my eyes - and I was furious.  I was so angry at whatever had decided that I belonged in this body.  I remember feeling heavy - and (this was the freaky part):  I was incredibly cold. Not just a little cold - but so cold and so stiff, I could hardly move my fingers, hands, anything at all.  I was torn between being overwhelmingly angry and maybe somewhat concerned - but not scared. Definitely not frightened. I remember thinking that even if I had died - I would have been okay with that as long as I could have stayed where I was.  All I kept think of was that wonderful feeling I had so it was easy to dismiss any concerns and focus on the amazing - and on the anger. 

The next morning, I didn't mention it to the neighbor - or anyone else for that matter.  I come from a very conservative family and community and thought that either no one would believe me or they'd dismiss it as a "dream" or deep sleep.  It was neither. I can't emphasize this enough - I've had flying dreams, floating dreams...you name it...and this was no dream.  This was an experience like nothing I'd ever felt before or since.  

It took me a couple of weeks to finally open up - I had to share my story - I needed to talk to someone. I'd been walking around with the anger for weeks. I wanted to be "there" again.  

One afternoon, when it was just the two of us at home - I decided to tell my father about the experience I'd had that night at the neighbor's house.  After listening to my entire story - he became very quiet and you could tell he was deep in thought because he looked down at the floor for what seemed like an eternity.  I couldn't imagine what my uber-conservative father was thinking....and then he finally spoke....  

He looked up at me - and he said,  "I can't believe you left the room. I can't believe you were brave enough to leave." I didn't know how to respond to that -I was puzzled by his statement - and still had no idea what he was talking about.  I had NO point of reference - and as far as I was concerned, you were dumb if you didn't do what I'd done that evening.  I was 12 years old and had never heard of NDEs or any of this stuff.  

My father's response truly shocked me that day.  It seems he'd had two similar experiences in his lifetime - both times he was able to leave his body and float above it and he said he believed he could have left the room, too but he was afraid.  He said that he couldn't risk something happening to him with all of us to think about - but that he sure would have liked to try. Wow.  We talked about it a few more times over the course of several years...and in hindsight, I think the difference between my experience and his was that I didn't have any pre-conceived ideas, notions, concerns...literally, no filters.  So, I just let it happen.   

Today, when I close my eyes and remember, I can recall that "euphoria" again. It's not as pronounced as it was for many, many years afterwards - but it's still there.      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  No

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes  Words couldn't - and can't express how vivid and pronounced everything was. You can't possibly put into words the "feelings"....the closest word is "Euphoric"...but honestly, even euphoria doesn't come close.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?            Midway...just about the time I hit the family room.  The first few minutes were spent digesting what was happening.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   Feelings, colors, values (bright/dark), everything was more vivid, more pronounced, words can't express...so I'll quit trying.

Did your vision during the experience differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any way, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?   Yes   Difficult to describe - just an overall acceptance. It's not "weird" to go through a door, not weird to see the bright moon, not strange at all - everything is perfect even though by our "standards" it may not be the norm.  Again, difficult to put into words.

Did you have any visual impairment during your normal everyday life immediately prior to the time of the experience?   No  

Did your hearing during the experience differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any way, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?         Yes  

Did you have any hearing impairment during your normal everyday life immediately prior to the time of the experience?   No  

Did you experience consciousness / awareness apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   I knew my body NEVER felt this amazing and I knew I was floating about a foot off the ground.  Moving/walking/gliding...whatever you want to call it, it's amazing and I knew.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring at a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   Yes   The moon - how vivid and "right" everything was.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during the time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body that you later (after your experience) verified really happened or was real?   Uncertain   Everything was as I saw it the next morning - the plants, magazines, small detailed items were all there.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during the time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body that you later (after your experience) verified did not really happen or was not real?   No  

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during the time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical body that were located far beyond any possible physical sensory awareness of your physical / earthly body?   Uncertain  Yes - if you're referring to the part when I was grabbed.  That was a PURPOSEFUL action by another being. I knew this at the time and I know it now.  It may have been an Angel, Spirit, or whatever it was - it felt at the time like I was being punished in a good-natured sort of way.  Don't ask me how I know this - it's just how it "felt."  Almost as if they were saying, "What are you doing?  Now, get back in there!"

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Unexplainable.  I didn't want to return.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Uncertain   Maybe the moon?...if that's what it was?  In my mind at the time, the brilliant light was the moon.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth, but whose earthly lives had ended prior to the time of your experience (they were deceased)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any earthly beings who were alive at the time of your experience (they were not deceased)?   No      Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence?The spirit or angel that pulled me back.

Did you become aware of past events in your life?   No     

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Uncertain I KNEW I didn't have any boundaries - it was absolutely effortless. The only boundary I encountered was the one that pulled me back.  

Did scenes from the future come to you?  Neither 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there is continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Uncertain   I wasn't afraid of dying after the experience.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there is no continued existence after earthly life (“no life after death”)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being really does exist?   Uncertain   See question 26

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being really does not exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that some or all of us currently living our earthly lives did have some type of existence prior to our current earthly lives?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that some or all of us currently living our earthly lives did not have some type of existence prior to our current earthly lives?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there exists a mystical connection, oneness, or unity that connects some or all of us currently living our earthly lives with something else, such as other being(s) or other thing(s)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there does not exist a mystical connection, oneness, or unity that connects some or all of us currently living our earthly lives with something else, such as other being(s) or other thing(s)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   No   

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience  

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   I was angry about being pulled back into my body for YEARS afterwards.  The anger subsided as I understood better what I'd experienced.  I could also recall the wonderful feelings just as easily.  Fear had melted away... 

Please remember - I was only 12 years old and very innocent. I had no clue - so many of these questions don't apply - it was an "experience."

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   Now that I've had kids of my own, I understand my father's fear and not "leaving the room." My experience changed the way I view the world and how I see death today.

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   Uncertain   Most of these questions I'm going to defer to the fact again that I was only 12 and didn't even know my favorite color let alone something this deep. I will say that I believe my experience to be even more valid BECAUSE I was only 12.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of the experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   The anger.  The yearning to be back there.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  Two weeks.  See story above.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I knew immediately that it was real. It was the most real thing I'd ever experienced.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   I can't explain it. I know it to be real.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Uncertain  

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No  

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   See above answers.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes