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Sammi G's Experience

Experience description:   

Carol had been in the "agonal breathing stage" for three days, and she had been talking to people who were not visible in the room.  I was at her side with very few interruptions...and was hyper-acutely aware that each breath could be her last one.  At 8 PM on 3/28/06, I sat on the twin bed at a right angle to Carol's, kept the light on and leaned sideways to rest my head on a pillow.  I had my face toward the lamp, and heard Carol's breathing stop...I say her head and face in three views...on the left side I saw her right profile, on the right side, her left profile, and in the middle (larger) her full face.  She was looking down at something...and behind her was the most beautiful landscape I have NEVER seen. There were rolling hills, a blue sky, a stream, and strong clear "sun" light. She had her normal hair in this vision...like when she was in her thirties.  She was looking down at something that made her break into a pleased, delighted smile.  There was no sound, but I felt flooded, swept away, snatched up and filled with love.  I was pushed back...but knew it was going to be OK for her, and I felt the connection between us stretching like a string. 

I sat up as her body started breathing again...but I knew she was not in it.  I felt very strongly that she was up near the ceiling, and I said my loving goodbyes to the ceiling.  Her body continued to fight until the next afternoon, but I knew that it was just a body...everything about it was different.  It was just a collection of struggling, collapsing systems...and it gave me peace to know she didn't have to be stuck there anymore. 

I am not a particularly spiritual person, but this experience has made me know that living on Earth is just an exercise we go through.  A few times after that, even though I moved a thousand miles away - I know Carol has been near me.  I feel the loving connection between us every day...usually just as I wake up, and almost always as I fall asleep. I felt very strongly, that if I just knew how, I could reach right through the boundary between us and touch her.  This also made me feel very stupid and inept...I am so clumsy and crude to not be able to cross the barrier!

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     I'm not sure what Carol was seeing that made her smile so wonderfully.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I was totally. intrinsically, mentally, psychically, and physically bonded to my partner...she was dying of organ failure due to cancer.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    When Carol was leaving.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            When Carol was leaving.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     Total color, clarity, light...and a sense of a light breeze.  The hills beyond were incredibly green and the water of the stream sparkled in the sun.  Carol became transparent in front of my eyes.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     No sound.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            LOVE and peace

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No      

Did you see a light?           No      

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Yes     The green hills, sparkling stream and blue sky.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     No time or sense of time passing...I wanted it to last forever.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I knew Carol was delighted and that gave me peace.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     I could not go with her...I felt "pushed back".

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     No      

Have you shared this experience with others?         No      

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No      

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I was awake but physically and mentally exhausted...but I think the exhaustion just opened me up (reduced my normal logical resistance) to this experience.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    It started me questioning the whole nature of our sense of reality.  I have NO sense of why we are here...but I know now that this life is just a "phase" we are going through. Things on this plane now mean very little to me...like this is just an exercise I am going through...practice for the "real" thing.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    I feel I was given a gift to be able to accompany her in the beginning stage.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I am closer to a couple of family members, but I live in a new area and am having trouble finding any friends.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?           

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        You probably won't think this report is valid, since I was (am) healthy and didn't die.  I felt it might be important to include it though, because it was such a privilege to accompany someone part of the way.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes    

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   Maybe include a section for caregivers like myself.