Carol had been in the "agonal breathing stage" for three days, and
she had been talking to people who were not visible in the room. I was at her
side with very few interruptions...and was hyper-acutely aware that each breath
could be her last one. At 8 PM on 3/28/06, I sat on the twin bed at a right
angle to Carol's, kept the light on and leaned sideways to rest my head on a
pillow. I had my face toward the lamp, and heard Carol's breathing stop...I say
her head and face in three views...on the left side I saw her right profile, on
the right side, her left profile, and in the middle (larger) her full face. She
was looking down at something...and behind her was the most beautiful landscape
I have NEVER seen. There were rolling hills, a blue sky, a stream, and strong
clear "sun" light. She had her normal hair in this vision...like when she was in
her thirties. She was looking down at something that made her break into a
pleased, delighted smile. There was no sound, but I felt flooded, swept away,
snatched up and filled with love. I was pushed back...but knew it was going to
be OK for her, and I felt the connection between us stretching like a string.
I sat up as her body
started breathing again...but I knew she was not in it. I felt very strongly
that she was up near the ceiling, and I said my loving goodbyes to the ceiling.
Her body continued to fight until the next afternoon, but I knew that it was
just a body...everything about it was different. It was just a collection of
struggling, collapsing systems...and it gave me peace to know she didn't have to
be stuck there anymore.
am not a particularly spiritual person, but this experience has made me know
that living on Earth is just an exercise we go through. A few times after that,
even though I moved a thousand miles away - I know Carol has been near me. I
feel the loving connection between us every day...usually just as I wake up, and
almost always as I fall asleep. I felt very strongly, that if I just knew how, I
could reach right through the boundary between us and touch her. This also made
me feel very stupid and inept...I am so clumsy and crude to not be able to cross
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Yes I'm not sure what Carol was seeing that made her smile so wonderfully.
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes I was totally. intrinsically, mentally, psychically, and physically
bonded to my partner...she was dying of organ failure due to cancer.
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
When Carol was leaving.
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was
different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please
When Carol was leaving.
your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect,
such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Yes Total color, clarity, light...and a sense of a light breeze. The hills
beyond were incredibly green and the water of the stream sparkled in the sun.
Carol became transparent in front of my eyes.
your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
Yes No sound.
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
LOVE and peace
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
you see a light?
you meet or see any other beings?
you experience a review of past events in your life?
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
Yes The green hills, sparkling stream and blue sky.
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes No time or sense of time passing...I wanted it to last forever.
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes I knew Carol was delighted and that gave me peace.
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Yes I could not go with her...I felt "pushed back".
you become aware of future events?
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
you did not have prior to the experience?
Have you shared this experience with others?
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
Experience was definitely real I was awake but physically and mentally
exhausted...but I think the exhaustion just opened me up (reduced my normal
logical resistance) to this experience.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
started me questioning the whole nature of our sense of reality. I have NO
sense of why we are here...but I know now that this life is just a "phase" we
are going through. Things on this plane now mean very little to me...like this
is just an exercise I am going through...practice for the "real" thing.
do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real I feel I was given a gift to be able to
accompany her in the beginning stage.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
closer to a couple of family members, but I live in a new area and am having
trouble finding any friends.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
probably won't think this report is valid, since I was (am) healthy and didn't
die. I felt it might be important to include it though, because it was such a
privilege to accompany someone part of the way.
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?
Maybe include a section for caregivers like myself.