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Sam K's Experience

Experience description:   

I had to mark the experience distressing and pleasant, because it was mildly distressing for a few moments and then a lot more pleasant. 

I used to meditate off and on and I was meditating sitting in my chair. I must have been meditating for a while. All of a sudden I started feeling something different. I felt like I just got dissolved.  

The sensation scared me at first. It's like you just walked off the cliff and suddenly there is nothing under your feet. All the mental infrastructure of thoughts, beliefs, ego, etc. was just gone in poof. But then a major realization hit me. The need for infrastructure vanishes with the infrastructure itself. It's like the earth that provides the support also creates the gravity. If earth were to vanish, the support would vanish but so will the need of support. So I will always be fine. 

Then I started relaxing slowly. I wasn't limited to my body any more. I felt like I was part of everything and everything was part of me. If I wanted to, I could feel the walls, the table, the window and everything outside the window. If I wasn't sensing it or feeling it, it was my choice. It was nice gentle feeling. A kind of mix of curiosity and a sense of wonder. A few minutes passed like that. I was relaxed, completely opened up mind in all directions. It cannot be described in words. It was experience of void. It was beyond good or bad. 

Then suddenly a thought/sensation/feeling arose inside me that it's not my time to be here yet. With that, I was almost pushed back into my mind, into my body and the body and mind functions began again. 

Several times I tried to achieve it again using meditation. But it never happens by trying. 

I used to feel somewhat frustrated thinking "Why would I myself think that it's not my time to be here yet and come out of there? Will I ever throw away an ice cream cone because it's not my time to eat it? If I enjoy it, I eat it." 

But after reading several experiences and noticing striking similarity with my experience, I realized that it wasn't me, like my ego and body. The thought/sensation/feeling came from something beyond.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     Impossible to explain in words. I did my best.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    Yes.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   Complete open mind. Feeling that I could see in all directions, through walls and at distance if I wanted to.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   Felt like I have a panorama vision of 360 degrees.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   Total silence. But sensation it was as if combining all senses.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   At the beginning a little anxiety and fear thinking "what is happening to me?" 

Later, a sense of peace, a gentle sense of wonder ,appreciation, curiosity. 

At one moment, total void. Sense of becoming one with the universe.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I felt like there is one continuum of everything. Time is part of it. Does that make sense?

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No
Did I understand everything? Yes and no. Not in a way that I have become omniscient or powerful. But in a way that "oh. this is how it works, it makes sense"

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Uncertain
I just felt like I dissolved into everything around me.

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   Yes, as mentioned, the insight that "the same things that fulfill your need also create the same need. and when those things vanish, their need vanishes as well" came to me when I was momentarily afraid of losing all the "infrastructure of mind and body"

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   A powerful openness. Feeling that I can sense/feel anything if I wanted to and if I am not feeling it, it's my choice on some level.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   No  

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   It was mostly new. Not necessarily consistent or inconsistent.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience  

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I am more open to everything.

My experience directly resulted in:   Moderate changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
Yes   I believe that there much more to life than it looks.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
Yes. Hard to explain.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  About five six years later, shared with my sister. She thought it was interesting. Never came up in discussions later.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   Uncertain   Don't remember. Probably not. But being Hindu, I did think that the reincarnation might be real. But wasn't sure.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   Tried to experience it again. But wasn't successful.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real  

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Uncertain  

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   No  

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No     

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Uncertain   I think I tried best to capture. But just like all other NDEs, words cannot do justice.

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?       Don't know.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?                        Pretty good questionnaire.