I was abused as a child and always suffered from depression, even being hospitalized for it.  To get away from the bad situation I drove across Canada and went to university on the other side of the country.  I was very lonely, jealous of people who had family and prayed and cried a lot. 

I would frequently be on my knees crying to Jesus to help me.   I know that all sounds rather extreme, but in public I was just a normal university student, hiding my loneliness and low self worth. 

Three years later I was checking out a 12 step support group at a hospital.  I found it boring and was going to leave.   A voice inside me said �stay a bit longer�.   I thought, �That is odd that I thought that, but OK�.    

A few minutes later the room got really bright, I looked at the ceiling to figure out where were all these lights that got turn on.    Then to my front right stood Jesus!  At this point, I kind of turned into a different person, it�s hard to explain but I will try my best.  Basically, it�s like I became my spirit.  Like my spirit was allowed to remember.  I stopped being this human persona; so hard to explain.  I was me, but also an eternal being. 

When I saw Jesus, my spirit just felt INTENSE relief.  So relieved to see Jesus!  Spirit communication is not with words, it�s with impressions and feelings, but the gist of it was �WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!�.   My spirit was NOT happy to be on earth.   Clearly, from my spirits perspective this place sucks big time.   Likewise, Jesus was ticked at me too!  He was very stern and seemed pretty peeved with me.   We were basically very annoyed with each other. 

My mind said �WHY did I get those crappy parents???�.   Jesus answered.  I was not allowed to remember what he said.  (Darn!!).   But whatever he said, made PERFECT sense;  as my spirit responded �oh!�, as in an �ah-ha� moment. 

Then I asked �How long do I have to be here?!�.   As in this place is terrible, I want to go home.

Now according to my memory, he said �40�.   I remember being satisfied with that, that it wouldn�t be a full life term.   However, my 40^th birthday passed and I am still alive and well, so not sure what that answer really was.  (40 more years?, who knows). 

Then I asked him a question of a personal nature.  He didn�t answer it.  He just commanded, very firmly �TRUST ME�.   

At this point he vanished.  My mind yelled out after him �What is the purpose of life?�.  He said �to LEARN�. 

Naturally, I was completely freaked out by these events and very happy that Jesus cared enough about me to basically show up and get mad at me.  (I say this jokingly but he was very firm).

But then I thought about it and decided, well, Jesus is real, and if someone needs help, it makes sense he would just show up and straighten things out.    I figured this must happen to other people too then. 

My uncle is a minister.  So the next time I saw him, during dinner, I said just like regular chit chat �Oh, I saw Jesus and he told me to trust him�.    The LOOK on my uncle�s face was pure disgust at my obvious lying, (in his mind).   I was very disappointed and learned that this doesn�t happen to other people and never to mention it.   I�m still disappointed that someone in the clergy would thing that Jesus just sits around in heaven and doesn�t come down here to sort things out. 

Moving on about 6 months, I had a new issue in my life that was a very big deal and would certainly impact my future in a big way, i.e. Marriage, moving to a new country, everything.  But there was a glitch and I was super stressed out.   Therefore, once again, I did the only thing I really know what to do in those situations and I prayed and prayed and prayed.    

Apparently, I was really driving Jesus and God crazy up there, because a few weeks later, I was taking communion at church.  As I was kneeling, getting the bread and wine, an arrow of power and words shot into my heart.  That�s what it felt like.  Basically I felt a bolt of energy enter my heart and the words �Your prayer has been heard!�.   The voice was Jesus�.   Just as on earth when we see someone we can identify them, somehow with spirit communication voice has equally as much identity. 

Well, I should have not worried so much because my whole situation worked out just fine.  At this point my incidents become less compelling but are still worth a mention. 

One night, I was praying on my knees, and just felt worn out from the previous year.  I recalled that the bible said something about the devil needing Gods permission to mess with someone�s life.  So I prayed, �God, can you just please say no to the devil for a year, I really just need a year of peace�.     

I then went to bed and within a minute or two, there was a voice right next to my ear that said in a deep, gravelly, menacing tone �Biiiiitch!!�.   It scared me silly!    I�m not sure what the outcome of my prayer was but clearly someone didn�t like it. 

I haven�t gone to church in a while because I had moved, so I finally went.  It actually was kind of a wacky small church that I didn�t like, but I did want to have communion.   As I was about to drink the wine I prayed in a very cheeky way  �OK Jesus, don�t be chintzy with your power�.  That was exactly what I said!   As I drank the wine, I felt a surge of power throughout my head, neck and throat.   Very cool.   I tried that prayer several more times after that but it never worked again! 

Similarly,  I was having lunch with two work mates.  Both were guys and the one was involved in some very shady business.  (Stealing parts out of computers and then returning them, he got caught). 

Somehow religion came up and this guy was saying he didn�t believe.   I said �but Jesus is real!!�.   As I said that, a wave of power shot through my upper body.   I can�t stress how amazing that sensation is.   The message I got is that telling people Jesus is real, not in a condemning way but just �hey, this Jesus person can really be a good thing in your life� is a good thing. 

A few months later,  I was going shopping.   As I crossed the parking lot I was caught up in my thoughts and narrowly missed getting hit by a car.   I quickly prayed �Hey God, I don�t know if we have guardian angels, but if we do, please tell it thanks�.    I went into the store and started browsing the racks.  The store was quite empty and there was no one around me.   A voice whispered my name.  For some reason it didn�t really register and I ignored it.  Again, it said my name louder.   Finally, startled, I looked up and there was no one around.  Then I remembered my prayer and thought �whoa!!�.    I guess God was letting me know that I do have a guardian angel. 

Another time, I had a dream.  In the dream I was in a huge garbage dump, just walking on big compressed mounds of garbage.   I saw Jesus in the distance.  I was shouting at him trying to get his attention.   I knew he heard me but he was ignoring me as he is generally tired of my crap.   Undeterred I yelled at him, cupping my hands to my mouth �I REMEMBER!  I REMEMBER!  I�M SUPPOSED TO USE THE POWER OF MY MIND!�.    I wrestled for a while, on what that actually meant.   But I�m guessing I have a lot of baggage/garbage that I am supposed to clean out of my mind?   I�m still not there. 

While on the subject of dreams, a couple more worth mentioning.   As I said earlier I was abused as a child.   In a half awake/asleep state, a voice, which I associate with that guardian angel voice from the store said �You have to forgive J__.  Not because he deserves it, but because God forgives you�.    

The other dream, I dreamt about manna from heaven.. and now I am realizing that I forgot part of it.  Basically the people in the dream were getting manna from heaven but were still complaining.   If the people didn�t complain, they would have had a better outcome.   The angel voice said �God won�t give you what you want, but he will give you what you need�. 

I know this is getting long winded, but there were a couple more prayers that got very practical answers. 

I was studying for a Masters degree in Science and had to write a computer program in a language I didn�t know.  I was just stumped, was stressed out and in tears.   My husband told me he was going to the grocery store and I decided to have a hot Jacuzzi bath.  In the tub I was praying about how stressed I was.   I immediately got a strong impression to the tune of �well you aren�t going to get much done sitting in the tub, get back to the computer�.  So I got dressed and went back to the machine, and my mind was flooded with insight on what had to be done.   The program was finished!   I was so happy and relieved.   I knew without question Jesus helped me.   My husband got back from the grocery store and I said �It�s finished!  The computer program is done!�.    He was so shocked because when he left earlier I was so stumped and upset.  From that point on I frequently referred to Jesus as the �Master Programmer�. 

A couple of years later I was thinking about changing jobs but was so torn over what to do.  Part of my stress was that if I quit, I had to return a key to the building and I couldn�t remember what it was; I had looked everywhere and couldn�t find it.  I prayed �God, if I am supposed to change jobs, please show me where that key is�.   Immediately into my mind popped the location of the key and I changed jobs. 

Finally, I did some really bad things as a young adult.  I won�t go into it, but it was very wrong.  I had prayed for forgiveness many times, very distraught.   One night, as I was praying this same prayer, I felt the overwhelming presence of Jesus on my right hand side.   The feeling of pure forgiveness and mercy filled the room.  For the one and only time in my life I felt utter peace.   I have never felt so free and (struggling for words)..  just so free and light � no worries or guilt. 

I had a few more things happen, but this is definitely enough writing for now! 

I want to conclude by saying it doesn�t matter what religion someone is.  God and Jesus are beings of power beyond our feeble comprehension and we don�t understand how it all works.

If someone is Jewish and doesn�t believe in Jesus, that�s fine.   That�s how they were born and in their plan that�s how it should be.  I would never tell anyone that Christianity is the only valid religion. 

I�m not a good Christian, I just pray to my big Brother Jesus until I drive him crazy and sometimes he answers me.   I will say I never got the hang of trusting Jesus.   I still don�t understand how you flip a switch in your mind and turn off worry and turn on Trust. 

Whatever troubles you have, get on your knees, pray and don�t give up.