Rose's Experience

Experience description:   

I was 17 and was sitting through a spiritualist church service on Easter Sunday.  I was not a strict "spiritualist" and had also been meditating at home. 

The church minister guided a meditation, and I closed my eyes.  I was absolutely stunned to be able to see in vivid color a scene of snowcapped mountains and a valley below of flowers.  At the time the minister said, "smell the flowers", and I inhaled through my nose and could smell them!  I opened my eyes and looked around for flowers, there were none I was near enough to to smell.  I closed my eyes again and amazingly, the vision of the mountains was still there.  After that point, I was led away from the minister's words and into a completely different, distinctly separate experience. 

I was high upon the mountain and there was a flat rock behind me almost in the clouds.  There were people who had passed to the other side.  They hugged me and said, welcome - you made it!  I could feel their embrace and could have cried from the intense emotion I felt, that this was my greeting to heaven after my death.  Except I knew that I had not died, but that I was glimpsing what it was like to die.  I knew some of them and was happy beyond description to be with them again. 

Then one of them seemed to indicate I had to go on further, that this was only an intermediate passage.  The next thing I knew I was alone, and the mountains and all scenery were gone.  It looked and felt as though I was actually suspended in a cloudy sky.  I noticed that there was a dark door in front of me, looming and it frightened me.  A voice boomed to me to open it.  I hesitated and the voice repeated insistently.  It was not an option.  I was being given a gift or my time had come in some way.  I opened the door. 

I was stunned that there was only pure white light on the other side.  Much brighter than the sun, and sparkling like a flawless diamond, with "golden" strands of "prismic color" in every direction.  There is nothing like it in the visual experience of light and color in this world to explain it.  I went forward to pass through the door, knowing now there was nothing to be afraid of.  The second I passed through the threshold, the Light went through me like lightning, almost knocking me down, and I felt immense love pouring through me, giving me a tight feeling in my throat as though I would cry.  The tightness in my throat was as strong as if I was in agony, but it was the opposite feeling of being utterly loved, in love, and blissful.  As I stepped fully into the Light, I turned toward the door, as if to close it, but it was gone!  I realized that the Light was infinite and that there were no doors there, it was impossible.  I had crossed into another dimension. 

The Light communicated with me as a matter of course, it was automatic and without words, just being inside the Light caused a completely different experience of consciousness.  Truth was not veiled in any way and accessible just by thinking.  I saw that the concept that there are "levels" of accessibility to God is false, and that one need not be a Buddha to experience God.  That is impossible since our spirits will reach this vibration at death and go to the Light in the natural order of the universe.  The veil separating us in life, also, is of our own making.  God's love is unconditional and pouring upon each person at all times - it is not necessary to become a saint to experience this truth.  There was no doubt at all that the Light is God.  No doubt that it is possible to experience God while in the body.  It was clear that God and the universe are one; physical and spiritual are one, but that there are inner and outer dimensions.  The outer dimension is a world of opposites but the inner world is one of absolute higher good, absolute love, constantly creating all things.  It was a comfort to know these truths!  Then the Light seemed to speak to me, to suggest that I could have anything answered which I needed to know.  Still feeling overwhelmed with intense love and happiness all I wanted to know was could I come back again before I died?  All that was on my mind was the feeling that I had found all that my soul ever searched for, and perfect love, and I wanted to return again.  The Light told me there was no need to "return"; I had crossed into another dimension, lifted a veil, and a part of me would never leave.  I would always be there.   

That was more than 20 years ago.  Every day I am there.  It is not vivid, I cannot close my eyes and see it.  But I can feel the light as it felt that day going through my heart.  There have been times when people I love have been in pain.  I found that I could channel the Light to their pain.  Sometimes, their pain disappears.  Other times, the Light initiates and wants to help people through me.  Once at work this happened with a woman who had a seizure and I took her to a private place and the Light helped her recover through me.  She was better in the future, and we never talked about it.  Another time in a Catholic healing session, I joined as a healer and let the Light help the emotionally ailing person; the next thing I knew an exorcism was being successfully performed.  There have been many instances like this.  I do not fear these things or feel that they are a big deal.  It does not matter whether I have these experiences or not.  They do not define me at all.  I define me by my doings in this world, and the Light defines itself and the beauty of the universe when it works through me.  All I have to do is trust the Light and it is that simple.