Robbrina A's Experience
I just like to stress that this was not a NDE, it was more like an outer body experience, but I felt the need to contribute because it was so intense & happened to me for 2 weeks daily.I was 18 when it this occurred & I lived with my father in his trailer. I was addicted to heroin then, but nothing like this ever happened due to using heroin. Heroin does not make you hallucinate! I was laying down on the couch ready for bed. I just laid down on my back. Just as soon as my eye lids shut, I felt someone...a presence near me, so my eyes popped back open. Suddenly I felt this sucking feeling, and someone had me raised by, which felt like they had a hold of me by my back and neck. That part is hard to explain, it was like I felt a magnet force holding me from behind. I did not feel hands on me or nothing like that...it was just this magnet like force & it was pulling me, not letting me go. I felt light. This force behind me pulled me with such force over the couch & on to the floor beside it. I thought a burglar or some maniac broke in & was attaching me. I screamed for my father who slept down the hall in his room. No matter how much I screamed if felt like my dad was unable to hear me. I tried with all my force to escape but couldn't.
In the mist of the struggle I looked up towards the couch, & seen my body laying there. It looked like I was asleep. I completely panicked now and tried to be released & screamed as loud as possible. The force dragged me through the living room into a small hallway that lead right to my father's room at the end. I tried to see who or what was behind me but was unable to turn my head in that direction. Everything seemed to have a brighter color than usual too. Everything seemed quiet as I remember except for my screaming, although my screams seemed far away & I could feel that no one heard them. It was weird. I also heard a loud humming from behind me. It was like a loud humming vibrating noise. This force pulled me towards my father's closed bedroom door. I remember in the mist of my fear thinking," I'm right here! How can he not hear me?!" Suddenly, this force pulled me the opposite way,..(the way I was just dragged), & pulled me back through the hallway to the living room. I was pulled off the ground literally above my body, that was laying on the couch. The force suddenly stopped, and I felt like dead weight & fell. I fell right on top of my body. It happened fast & next thing I knew I flew up from the couch. I was in my body again but I was terrified. I felt all sweaty and dizzy like. I knew it was not a dream. I was completely alert & I didn't have enough time to fall asleep anyway. I thought maybe I had an overdose or something and was dying, but didn't understand how since I had not done a lot of heroin that day.
My suspicion on overdosing vanished when this happened again the next night. It happened the same way. As I laid down on my back & closed my eyes for a split second...I felt that presence there again. It happened all over again just how I described. This went on for 2 weeks, every single night. I was completely terrified. I knew by the 2nd time that I knew that my sprit or soul was leaving my body by something. One night I tried laying on my side thinking that maybe this would not happen if I wasn't laying on my back. I had the TV on that night, and closed my eyes. I felt that angry presence by me again and my eyes popped open. I felt like I was being moved against my will & I struggled to not be moved. I even screamed to myself, "Open your eyes! Get up!" I tried to move my body but it was frozen, like cement. I was unwillingly pulled out over the side of the couch, & had the same exact episode as days before.
During these episodes, I was in complete fear. A few times I was pulled around the trailer into different rooms, like the kitchen or bathroom. That night the only difference was the TV was on & I could hear it from a far away. I also was pulled past the TV and remember looking at it and I remember seeing people on the television and all these colors were swirling around them on the set. The last night this happened I found out what the force was. Same routine....I was on the couch, laid back, shut my eyes for less that 30 seconds when I felt that presence.
This time was different. I knew someone was there but I didn't feel that angry feeling from it & I wasn't scared. I jumped up to see what was there. It felt like my body wasn't moving but someone I was able to lift my head up. I seen my friend sitting at the end of the couch by my feet. His name was Adam & was a good friend of mine. He had died months earlier suddenly,...after being released from a long prison sentence he came home & died 2 weeks later as a result of a overdose. He had decided to try heroin again after being clean for years, & died alone in his room. I was overcome with joy by seeing him by I suddenly had a rush come over me...like a feeling & I received the explanation that it was Adam doing these things to me for the past 2 weeks. I got annoyed with him & said, "It was you? You were doing this to me? Why??" It felt like I was moving my lips but the question came inside my mind. He answered," Because I am mad at all of you. God made me die for a reason, so you all would stop getting high & you ARE ALL STILL DOING IT!" I knew he was talking about the circle of friends we had, which all of them used heroin, & still were using at this time also. I felt he was angry with me the most like he expected since we were very involved with each other that I should have been affected by his death the most, & he was upset that I not even thought about stopping my use. "Let me show you something" he said.
He pulled me by my arms and rose up toward the ceiling like holding onto my hands, with me underneath him. Everything around started to turn black. I looked below me and seen my body but everything faded. When I looked back up at him everything was now all black around us, it felt like he had pulled me millions of miles away in that fast amount of time, although it didn't feel like we were moving fast. It seemed calm. It was dark but it felt like we were traveling inside a tunnel. I would see streams of light in the tunnel ..almost like what you see after someone takes your picture with a camera. This beautiful light came behind him and made him glow. I felt peaceful and all was calm. "You can not die now" he said. It was the same with him when he spoke, I didn't notice if his lips were moving, but I heard him almost inside my head. "It is not your time to die. Look" he said. I turned and looked over my shoulder underneath me and saw a vision of a baby girl sleeping in a crib. It was my daughter who then was only a few months old. My mother took her to raise because of my addiction. "You have a daughter who needs you. Go take care of her" he said.
I looked back up at him and he said," So you cannot die now." Then his tone turned to anger and he said & it seemed to ring through my head," SO STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING!" He released my hands & I felt like I was falling at a high speed. I fell so fast I couldn't even see anything...when suddenly I hit something with like a fast, buzzing, vibrating impact. Suddenly my body flew up from the couch to an upright position. I was out of breath & felt dizzy again...although this last time it felt worse being back in my body. It felt like I was gone for hours but when I looked I seen it was only minutes later.
had a sick feeling in my stomach from the dizziness & could not get my
daughter's image out of my thoughts. It made me cry. Somehow I knew that
experience was over. It never happened again, even though I did not stop using
drugs right away. Even with that eye opening experience I struggled with
stopping although I never gave up trying. I eventually did stop years ago, &
since then got married and had more daughters. I never had that experience again
where I saw Adam.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Uncertain I wasn't dead but was under the influence of drugs. I might have had an overdose but unlikely because it happened more than once.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I felt more alert when out of my body.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: I felt more alert when out of my body.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes The TV had swirling colors around it. Everything else was the same except that it seemed brighter than usual.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Yes When my deceased friend spoke, it was more heard inside my mind then my ears...hard to explain. When I screamed it sounded funny as well. And when out of my body I heard the TV, but it sounded far away, almost like it was down a hall or something, although it was right there.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Most of the time, I was scared. Intense feelings of panic & fear. I felt anger from unknown source-(which turned out to be my deceased friend) During the last episode, I felt confused & annoyed as to why my friend had did this, & when he pulled me up I felt extreme peace & calm.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Yes When he pulled me up, we were inside a black tunnel that had strings of light once in a while.
Did you see a light? Yes After being pulled inside this tunnel, this extreme light was behind Adam glowing all around him. It was bright but not painful bright...
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes My friend Adam who had died months earlier to an overdose. He was very close, more then a friend. We were involved during his death & I wanted to marry him. He was angry & upset because he said god made him die for a reason, (like to be an example to us) for me & my friends to stop doing drugs. He was upset because everyone was still using and that his death didn't affect us. He seemed most upset with me because we were close.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? Yes I learned that my friend's death was supposed to open my eyes & my friends eyes & make us think twice about what we were doing. I learned how my using drugs affected other, which led me to continue to try quitting so I could raise my daughter right.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes When I was pulled high, through the tunnel into the bright light. I knew I was somewhere else not on earth.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes It felt like I was there hours, when it turned out to be only a matter of minutes.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes I don't know if knowing a deceased persons reason for dying counts as special knowledge. I also felt then that I could not keep killing myself because my purpose was for me to be here with my child. (children now)
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I felt when I left the tunnel & came into light that something was beyond that. The light was directly behind my friend and I knew/felt that beyond that something incredible.
Did you become aware of future events? No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? No
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes I told my father the day after the first time, because I wanted to see if he heard me screaming. He didn't hear anything & thought I must have fell asleep. I told others the next few years, few of my friends. One of which felt it was definitely OBE or astral projection.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain Not to me personally, but I had heard of it from others & reading.
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real I felt it was an outer body experience. At first I thought I had been overdosing & died, & that maybe I was struggling with not dying.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? When I found out it was my deceased friend that was doing this fearful thing to me & why. I felt like I still had a purpose.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was definitely real That happened almost 12 years ago. I know it was real. I really believed that something like this had to happen to me for me to even consider stopping drugs. Before this experience, I had no interest in stopping or even slowing down. I do believe that I was being told that I had to try to stop & I think if I didn't, I would have died in a short amount of time, leaving my daughter to not knowing her mother at all.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain Not with others really, but this experience contributed to my changing the relationship I had with myself.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain At the time I was catholic & went from that to wiccan to almost being an atheist, but because of that experience I refused to believe that there was no god. I am now not a part of any religion, but I believe in god & have my own beliefs.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? Just wanted to add that I know that this wasn't a NDE but it was real & I just wanted to share it on this site. It sounds similar to what some people experienced on here.
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes I described my experience in great detail because I was very alert then & have always remembered exactly what happened. Most of the questions asked where things or feelings I experienced.
Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Maybe ask if others experienced vibrating when left their body & how they felt right after they were back into their body.