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Renée D's Experience

Experience description:   

From my book: Your Quantum Heart (on Amazon) 

It was a weekend morning and I was sleeping in. Still too young to have a job but by now old enough to take on a share of my mother's housework, I was lolling around in avoidance of Saturday morning chores. I was noticing how the morning sun barely penetrated the thick brown curtains over my desk on the other side of the room. The curtains allowed a frame of bright sunlight around their edges, which illumination bent over the desk and angled steeply towards the floor. The first aromas of breakfast wafted up the stairs as my mother moved about in the kitchen below. A funny thought crossed my mind.

I remembered my grandmother's enjoinder about how to pray. I could see her in my mind's eye, showing me just what to do. It occurred to me to try this now. Still warm under the covers I raised my arms as she had shown me and looking up towards the ceiling, I asked.

In what I can only now describe with the benefit of adult reasoning and vocabulary, I was suddenly lifted into another dimension. How do I know this? I know this as viscerally and innately as I draw breath, as I need water and food to live. This place, or rather this 'state', was more real, more 'dimensional' than anything I had ever experienced, ordinary consensual reality of our day to day being more like a cardboard cutout in comparison to this paradigm, this place that is right beside 'here'.

Softly vibrating yet solidly interwoven in every direction were filaments of warm, shimmering golden breathing light, as though my spirit were awakened into an infinite living cocoon. This place was peace, joyous, alive with a deep flowing love that infiltrated every atom of my being. I was utterly safe, protected and, while having no sense of bodily density, sort of floating gently in sublime warmth and eternal comfort. There was no 'I' in this place in the sense of taking up space, but I did have a pinpoint of awareness, an ability to think, sense, process.

I thought to ask, 'Where am I?' and directly I was given this knowledge, 'You are in the palm of God's hand.'

My rabbit brain went quickly to work. What else can I learn about this place? Where am I really? But as I began to articulate thoughts, everything transformed again. My awareness felt like it dropped downwards and back into my body and into a mundane dream state. The achingly beautiful fire-threads of light, dimmed and morphed themselves into the downy furze of a baby duck. I had become a duckling.

I waddled along unsteadily, swaying awkwardly side to side on two fragile floppy feet, chasing down my siblings and my mother who was up ahead, a big white duck who was looking back at us over her shoulder. We, her offspring, toddled across the barnyard in pursuit.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     It's like trying to describe a color no one has ever seen, or celestial music - beyond comprehending in any normal sense, so few words describe it...

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    Before it descended into a mundane dream it felt super conscious.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   Have never felt that 'dimensional' since. Huge access to much more what I would call supersensory input. Normal life seems cardboard by comparison and I did not want to return.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Extremely powerful and extra dimensional. More than this world's as we know it.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   It was very quiet. Did not seem to hear what I was told so much as have it encoded or assured in my mind, by a presence.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Powerful love - beyond anything human, compassion, bliss, peace, safety, equanimity, comfort, wonder. All supercharged - nothing like it before or since, except for a couple more times when I began to be spontaneously drawn into this 'state'.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
The voice that told me where I was was inextricably tied into and implicit with the light or state I was in.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   No  

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
How I describe it now is meeting the divine. Extra dimensional, or perhaps a larger expression of our consciousness.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
It was out of time for sure. And later when I tried to tell my mother about it, time stopped. Also in my book. Can elaborate later if you wish.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   Everything about the universe
In so far as we are extremely powerful and made of love, what else is there to understand... this was the upshot of this state.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Uncertain
While I had no body, I definitely had sensation of a sort that I could identify.

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   As the experience was so profound, I was certain that this was our real nature and not the body we live in.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Yes, I was taught to pray in a certain way as a child. When I did so, I was transported into another realm, benevolent, achingly beautiful, utter peace and the sense that I was loved and looked after. You could feel that as palpably as a parent fawns over its child. Something was making an attempt to inform me of our true nature, something with a lot more knowledge than myself, so I'm not sure how to describe that being other than one more consciously endowed.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   Absolutely. I was a skeptical child. Questioned everything I heard in church and thought it was foolish. It's almost as though the divine said, forget all that, how about this? My skepticism was fully formed as soon as I had the self awareness to ask questions. I can only put that down to pre-this life experience. Not specific information during the experience, per se, just the awareness of a hugely bigger life form that we inhabit, that is not the body,so pre-existance I kind of assume.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Please see my description above of the event. That says it all. I interpret this and have written about it as meeting entanglement theory in pure consciousness; so, it seems our individual consciousness is just a little pinpoint of sensory data in the sea of all that is.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Yes   The utter peace and equanimity bestowed by the experience tells me that everything, no matter how bad it looks, is really OK - and that we are in a lifeschool to come to this knowledge and trust.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes   The utter peace and equanimity bestowed by the experience tells me that everything, no matter how bad it looks, is really OK - and that we are in a lifeschool to come to this knowledge and trust.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   Yes. What we call love is so paltry even in its highest expression. The love I felt was its own dimension that seems to contain everything else.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Yes   The innate knowledge that everything is/will be OK no matter how many wrong turns we take.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   Absolutely, I feel like I have visited my own or creations perfect template. I really feel the need to communicate this as it is a gift. As mentioned have been there several times since - again gifted with the experience, almost as a reminder that things are not what they seem.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Well, I was 10 and had no concept of this dimension, only the dogma I'd heard that allegedly God loves us. This experience was and still is so beyond imagining that I ache to make it known, especially to those who are fearful or despairing.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   The most vivid experience of my life, bar none. This world we live in feels like a shadow or mock up in comparison.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   This was a defining moment that set me on a path of seeking and of the sense of living in two worlds. I have looked to see this experience described elsewhere and the closest I've come is other's nde's. My sense is that there are many places for awareness to lodge when we are born into the next dimension and this account for the differences in people's stories.

My experience directly resulted in:  
Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
Yes   Yes, As soon as this occured, I had knowledge and did not require faith. I knew God would protect me and in fact prayed my way out of many dangerous situations, one of which I recently discovered resulted in my life being spared, when another young woman chased down by the same stalker was murdered. A cold case in the neighbourhood where I grew up.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   Yes. The fact that both under duress in life and in peaceful states, I have been invited back into this experience. I was hesitant to follow the transformation into what I would call 'light' as I was concerned that I would die to this world and I was not ready to go.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   Uncertain   Yes I have many gifts this way, but not sure if they were there before the age of 10.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
Yes. The fact that both under duress in life and in peaceful states, I have been invited back into this experience. I was hesitant to follow the transformation into what I would call 'light' as I was concerned that I would die to this world and I was not ready to go.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  Until recently, no. I'm sure most people think I'm touched. As a lay chaplain if I convey some of my certainty to dying people, they are definitely appeased. Somehow this experience continues to offer inspiration for when I am dealing with troubled people. I try to get out of the way of what spirit offers.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   The extra dimensionality of it, the imprinting of knowledge/knowing was so utterly powerful - so this feels like a silly question. Kind of indescribable to the dualistic mind. Like above we talk about 'God' but I do not presume to describe what that means.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   It was/is utterly real and accessible - although I don't know what provokes it other than my own experience. It was an important gift of awareness and knowledge but often makes me feel like a Martian on this planet, so I try to be credible in all things. How could I tell anyone about this????

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   Certainty that I am where I am supposed to be and with whom and in which family...

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   My views are very broad. I am studying JJ Hurtak. It feels like there is a path for conciousness and a giant metaphorical story - like archetypes - that we progress through in this life and the next and the next dimension after that. Although as a lay chaplain, I usually work in the Christian tradition as that is mostly what I encounter at the hospital where I volunteer.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   Yes   Spontaneously, on two occasions, I have been pulled back into that state.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?   So grateful to be able to share it here. One does not have to die to encounter the divine, although it seems to be a powerful jumping off point for so many people. I don't understand why I was given this experience and feel that perhaps my seeking and discovery of a kind of bigger context for it all may be the reason. I am trying to tell more people about it now.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   No   Many of the questions come from a limited assumption for how we frame this experience, and so it feels a bit disingenuous to answer questions about 'God'. In other words the reference points for the questions feel constraining.