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Rebecca P's Experience

Experience description:   

At the time of the experience my roommate whom I was deeply in love with was having a "nervous breakdown" and locked herself in her room.  She wouldn't come out and wouldn't eat.  I tried everything to help her that I could think of but couldn't reach her.  I finally broke down myself and began to sob uncontrollably.  The sobbing soon became convulsive and I began to vomit.  This went on all day and into the evening.  I finally was spent and fell into a deep sleep.  While asleep I saw myself as a middle-aged man. I was in some sort of trouble but wanted to visit my love...who I perceived was my roommate. 

While there I was about to be discovered when I slipped away.  While I was hiding downstairs.  I could see it was my love who told them where I was hiding because they threatened to disfigure her.   I was tried for treason and put before the firing squad.  I was tied to a pole...my hands behind my back.  I refused the blindfold...saying I wanted to look my murderers in the eye.  I remember looking at each one...then the shots rang out and my head slumped forward.  I left the top of my head and drifted upward.  As I drifted I felt the most penetrating and overwhelming feeling of love and knowing.  I remember thinking Shakespeare is right...life is a stage and we are all just players in it.  I felt complete forgiveness for the firing squad for everyone...forgiveness isn't even the right word there was nothing to forgive...a deep understanding came over me.  In the middle of this revelation, I thought of my love and want to tell her I was okay. 

I knew she would be distraught and racked with guilt...I wanted to go to her.  I was in darkness now.  Still surrounded by love...I thought...what now?  Then a thought came to me...just think of her.  When I did...I was in the room with her.  She was sobbing deeply on her bed.  I tried to tell her I was okay...but, I couldn't reach her.  I couldn't help her.  She could not hear me.  I don't know what happened after that.   Some time later...I had another dream.  I was flying through space.  I had no body. I was a point of light being pulled toward this massive swirling vortex. I was surrounded by other points of light all being pulled toward the same vortex.  There was intense excitement and joy surrounding me.  The gravitational pull became stronger and stronger.  As I approached, I changed my mind and decided not to go.  It took all my intent to pull myself free...I don't know what happened after that.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No      

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     The depth of feeling and knowingness.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I was in a dream state.

Was the experience dream like in any way?   It had a different quality than a normal dream.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes     In the dream I died and left my body.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Intense love, peace, knowing.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No           

Did you see a light?           No      

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? Yes    

After I died and was surrounded by love then darkness.  I wanted to visit my love and did by thinking of her.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain      I believe I was in Spain.  The uniforms of the firing squad.

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          No      

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?          Yes     Time didn't seem to matter or space.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes     I remember thinking Shakespeare was right...life is a stage and we are just players in it.  Forgiveness was unnecessary...we are just playing are parts.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Yes     No I decided not to go into the vortex.  Yes...I thought I would never be able to return to earth and would become part of the whole.

Did you become aware of future events?       No      

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No       That was not possible...I was dead.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain     

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I was no longer afraid of death.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       More peaceful.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes     I am more certain that we continue after death. I am more peaceful.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I'm not sure.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Peace

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The overwhelming presence of love...not be able to reach my love and tell her I was okay and help her with her grief.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                         I believe so...