Randi N's Experience


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Experience description:   

This is an experience immediately after my mothers death while standing by her bedside.

My mother had lived in a different state than my sister and I for many years. She had been diagnosed with some substantial mental illnesses and was an alcoholic. Everyone in the family had the same issues with her.  Communication had been difficult and often ended with harsh words and my phone being unplugged until she was semi rational. It really hurt my sister and I to love her so much, but at the same time so frustrated by the situation and we could not do anything to help her because of the mental issues and her stubbornness.

Long story short, she was diagnosed with throat/mouth cancer and would not follow any advise. She consented to some radical surgeries but refused radiation. Within 9 months we got a call from the hospital out of state telling us our mother wasn't doing very well and was in the end stages of cancer. My sister and I flew back and brought her to Washington so we could be with her. She passed away one month later.

My sister and I were with her all day on the day of her death. We knew this was it, because all clinical signs were there. When her breathing got irregular we both took her hands and I kissed her forehead. She took her last three breaths and the room was absolutely silent. I felt locked to her for a minute or two and could only focus on her. While looking down at her face I saw a very soft yellow glow and my peripheral vision saw it in the whole room. Then the feeling I actually physically felt was the most calm feeling of warmth and well being that came from somewhere inside me. The experience only lasted a minute, maybe two or three. My sister and I sat there for 15 minutes or so, not speaking. When we left the room, I asked her "Did you feel that?" and she had felt the very same thing.

I am a skeptic through and through, and I really want to call it a stress reaction felt by both my sister and I.  The truth is I don't know what it was, since I'm not religious was I feeling the energy leave her body? I have know idea, but I do know that I felt something powerful that night whatever the cause.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  No

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No

Have you shared this experience with others?  No

      Describe:  I've only talked about it with my sister.