Peter C's Experience
This is a fairly big experience, and I'm not entirely sure where to start. I suppose I'll give you some quick background knowledge on the events leading up to it.
If you could do a stranger such as myself a favor, I would like to ask of you one thing: Try and forget all pre-conceived beliefs and ideas about how life is- what's good and what's bad- etc. Try and have as open a mind as possible. After you have read this experience, think of it as you will.
*SKIP TO THE STAR IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO READ THE INTRO AND KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME*
So this all kind of started when a girl developed feelings for me. I was friends with her for a while, and she was an enchanting person. It was my first real relationship, but it didn't work out. She played ego games with me afterwards to try and make herself look good. I did nothing in return, as I still had feelings for her. This destroyed me, as she tried to turn all my friends against me, although it didn't work for her, it was still a hard time for me. I turned very introspective, and tried my best to appreciate the universe whilst disregarding the circumstances of my life.
Like any young, aspiring, and curious teenager, I eventually discovered marijuana. It allowed me to coexist, to accept what is and to go with the flow. It also made me feel good. It tickled a part of my mind that I had never tickled before; all of it, really. My mind had been altered, and I was exploring a new, uncharted realm of my own personal being.
Fascinated by this experience, I did plenty of research. I had to be careful, venturing off into this dangerous, taboo part of life. I quickly learned that there were many, many bad drugs. However, something seemed promising. These drugs were the safest, they were the most powerful, and they changed lives. Many who had took them were said to have changed- to have been enlightened- after seeing the world differently. That is what I wanted; I wanted to be enlightened, I wanted to truly be able to be happy. I didn't want to hide from my depression, I wanted to accept it, I wanted to accept everything and to be happy.
Fast forward several months and these particular drugs miraculously crossed paths with my life. I was anxious to try them, and decided to with my close friend's garage. It was your standard stoner-hang-out-place, but it acted as a safe haven for us to trip. It wasn't either of my friends first time, but it was mine. I felt as if I had never been more ready for anything in my life, but I also felt as though I had no idea what I was up against.
*A few hours, here are the events that follow:
I seemed to be reaching my peak, as everything was more beautiful than I had ever seen. Fractals and seemingly sacred, almost hieroglyphic symbols were lining everything. I saw a new spectrum of colors, and everything waved and morphed around. It was if the entire universe was dancing just for me, and I was the only one who could see it.
'Peter, come here'
I looked over with wonder to see what amazing thing someone would want to show me. My friend had a bowl of weed packed in his bong, and said I should toke it. I was unsure if it would be a good idea to mix the two- but I knew it was still safe, and chase insisted.
I went over, and I took a massive hit, it was if I could inhale forever, but I decided not to.
I noticed time slowing down, or rather, my mind speeding up. I was aware of an entire infinity between each point in time, and that's what I was nearing, and I knew it. I knew everything was infinite, and I knew I was a part of it.
But wait, what am I?
Who am I to have this perspective on infinity?
My life flashed before my eyes, everything was identical, even the time. I lived my entire 17 year existence from birth until present moment. While I won't describe the entirety of it, I eventually reached a very important point in my time.
It was the point, where here I was, tripping in some random garage in some random city on some random planet. The point where I forgot who I was, where I had to remember my life.
My life flashes before my eyes, I feel everything, I go back in time to the beginning and live it again.
Then I get to the point where I forgot who I was, and I live my entire life again.
I was looping through my entire life and I couldn't get out of it. Something was aware of this though, and it wasn't me. It was this thing in my mind, this, consciousness, that was not my Ego.
Each time my life looped, it seemed to get faster and faster- even though time was going at the same rate in my life, it was going by faster for this conscious observer. It had already looped an infinite amount of times, and it kept getting faster and faster, a sound was playing, and it kept getting louder, and louder, and louder. It was a song so loud that could not be heard by the ears, but only by the mind. As life flashed faster and faster, it turned into light, and the consciousness shot away from that looping little ego.
Instantly, I expanded in every dimensional direction: I took up infinite space, infinite time, infinite probability, and so forth. I was going through each dimension, as if I was showing myself the truth about what I really was. I knew that I, GOD, would return to Peter, for his life was unfinished, but he would gain this incomprehensible knowledge nevertheless. I, God, would show this lost little ego what it really was. It was everything, it was infinite. While I could go on for days, years, centuries, all the way to infinities, about the nature of infinity, dimensions (being Space, Time, Probability, etc- the things that primarily make up that which is.) I won't do that just yet.
So eventually, I was inevitably reaching the point of infinity. I knew what was going to happen, but I wasn't aware of it. That is because at the point of ABSOLUTE INFINITY, nothing happened.
Everything balanced, perfectly. Everything and it's opposite was contained within this point, this point of pure, fundamental balance. All the love, all the hate, all the good and all the evil, all the matter and anti-matter, time and anti-time, (here's a fun one) space and anti-space (yeah..), EVERYTHING possible and impossible was contained within this infinite, balanced point.
It was balanced. +1 and -1 = 0.
It was the only way to have nothing. This is what nothing was, nothing was infinity, and infinity was nothing. It was a complete, never-ending, never-beginning system.
I eventually experienced how nothing can relatively become something, how it can expand on it's potential in the most logical way- everything is the only thing that can happen. Eventually, I returned to the form of Peter, after going through the entirety of everything and looping back to where I was.
It sure was trippy, and it's impossible to put the experience into words.
It wasn't just out of body, it was out of reality, it was even out of infinity at some points.
Thanks for reading this.
Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? Yes
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes It was not an experience that language was designed to communicate. Language is a vast void, even if I were to perfectly write the experience, you could have different personal meanings for each word than I do. It's a matter of relativity, and this experience was purely personal for the expansion of my perspective on reality.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Yes I thought I was poisoned, that I was going to die. I was nearly sure of it.
What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience? Infinite
Was the experience dream like in any way? No, it was real- it made life look dream like. It made the existence of Ego seem like nothing but an illusion of the mind.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes Formless
What emotions did you feel during the experience? All of them. Even the ones humans have yet to experience.
Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? It's relative. I heard all the sounds, but to me it was not unusual, it was perfect.
LOCATION DESCRIPTION: Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures? Yes Location: Infinity.
I was god- but god was everything, ranging from the
most evil of beings to the purest and most intellectual. He simply wanted to
experience and feel it all, and he did.
Did you see a light? Yes I saw it all. Light (new colors, too), dark, different mediums for relative comparisons found in other universes, multiverses, etc.
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes Not only did I meet them, I was a part of them.
Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? Yes
Yes and no, I had no choice as to what happened, because everything happened. Everything I wanted and didn't want. Everything had to balance.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Yes Yes, many recent scientific breakthroughs I have been aware of- except for some of them, which I have no doubt will later be either reiterated or disproved.
Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different? Yes I had way more than 5 sense, but everything that consciousness can sense I sensed.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes Nothing was altered, but I had an infinite sense for all applicable dimensions of existence.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes I was fully aware of infinity and nothingness.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes Yes and no, I reached a boundary which can never relatively be reached, however, I was irrelative and nothing at the point that I reached the balance which is absolute infinity and absolute nothing.
Did you become aware of future events? Yes I did, but the difficult thing is I was aware of every possible and impossible future event that could ever happen.
Not only was I aware of the future (and past), but I was aware of the different probable timelines for how our universe could unfold.
On top of that, I was aware of every single
universe and how it could unfold, as well as every multiverse, and so forth.
Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body? Uncertain That part was foggy.. It was as if I was going back through infinity and I got caught in my ego, which returned me to my body.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Uncertain It's hard to describe, but it's as if I am always where I want to be.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes I love everything, because everything is what I am.
How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices? All my relationships have gone up hill. I'm drastically more tolerable to people, and I'm far more humble and coexisting.
My career is undecided, however I know this: When I'm older I want to be what I become.
With that being said, I'm not a huge fan of modern
society, I seek more than monetary wealth.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes I can really figure out what's true. I'm real with myself now.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes Not necessarily the full experience. I've only told a few- people who I can trust, or people who I feel should hear it. Some people have cried, some people have gotten enlightened, some have heavily bonded with me. Everyone believed me- it's a lot easier to describe in real life when everything can just flow out of my mind.
What emotions did you experience following your experience? Nothing specific, but I was content- enlightened would be the best way to describe it.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? Worst part was shedding my ego. It was by far the most terrifying experience of my life.
The best part was seeing what consciousness is and
what it can do.
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? I suppose what I want to add is I hope that the fact that this was drug-induced doesn't change the fact that it was still a very real out of body experience.
I understand that they are very taboo in modern society, but this was easily the most significant part of my life so far. On top of that, I quit smoking after this experience, and changed to a MUCH MUCH MUCH healthier lifestyle. Just because something is a drug, doesn't necessarily mean it's bad.
I also want to add that I'm not supporting the use
of drugs. I do however support research and rational, responsible exploration of
the mind as well as the dissolution of the ego.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I've tried psychedelics some other times, and have had similar results.
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain Everything is a relative perspective. Some may have the perception to understand my perspective, others may not.