Pepe M's Experience
I don't mind sharing my experience with you. It was a spontaneous NDE-like which happened to me when I was around 11 years old. I have written it down.
Let me briefly tell you a little bit about myself, about my experience, and about how I feel about this issue.
My experience happened to me in around 1974, when I was 11 years old (more or less). Now I am 40 years old (2004). In that time, I lived in a small town in the south of Spain, Montilla (Cordoba). One day I was sitting in class with my classmates and my teacher. It was a completely regular day, everything was going normally, I was in perfect condition, good health, etc. I was watching how the teacher was preparing something to show it to us, and waiting for him to finish it, when, all of a sudden, I started to feel and very clearly perceive that something REALLY GOOD was approaching the room from behind the right hand wall.
I noticed that it was coming closer, and closer. It had the feeling of intense, wonderful, soft, nice and familiar TRUE LOVE (somehow I had the feeling that I knew that LOVE, but I couldn't tell you how).
Gradually the room started to get full of light. It was white light, it got stronger and stronger.
I kept thinking all the time: "this is wonderful...so, it really existed!" (I meant God and those type of things, etc.)
I then found myself inside of this incredible HUGE and VERY, VERY BRILLIANT PURE WHITE LIGHT, although the center of it seemed to be a little further away in front of me.
The light was HUGE, coming from everywhere, and it was POWERFUL (stronger and bigger than the sun). It was like a HUGE swimming pool full of light instead of water (better yet, an ocean). I mean that everywhere you looked, there was white light, only white light. But the light was beautiful to look at (I don't know why), and it did not hurt my eyes.
I have spent the rest of my life looking at very bright lights to compare them to that light. (Example: tennis courts lights, powerful lights that they use for video cameras in weddings, the sun, etc.) But they cannot compare AT ALL to that one, and they do hurt my eyes.
Anyhow, I wanted to get closer to the center of the light. At that point I was not aware anymore of my surroundings in the class, and when I tried to move closer to it, I felt like a "strong pull" towards the center of the light. Or maybe I made an effort to go in that direction. I am not quite sure about that. I was indeed VERY curious to get closer to it, but I believe I was not in control of what was happening or where I was going.
Anyhow, the LIGHT irradiated a VERY HIGH DOSE OF PURE TRUE LOVE. I could not explain to you how HIGH. I write in capital letters because there are no words in our vocabulary to describe it. The intensity of it is not of this world!!!
Since then, Iíve learned there is nothing else in this world that could make us TOTALLY happy -- nothing!! Not money, expensive cars, earthly pleasures, etc., etc., unless it is similar to that light, and I haven't found yet anything like that LIGHT in this world, except for the small things in life: (a smile from a child, true friendship, real love, the beauty of nature, a flower, the stars at night, honesty, loyalty, generosity, humility, patience, truthfulness, gentleness, etc., etc.)
All those little things taste like the LIGHT, only that the LIGHT was like concentrating all those things in the same place at the same time. To tell you the truth, I could care less about money and stuff like that. Money is only something I need to survive physically (buy food, shelter, etc.). If I could eat air, I would not need money. (I am exaggerating a little, not much though!!! But I hope you get the idea).
Well, then I felt I was not allowed to "go" any further and I felt I was somehow "pushed back" very quickly (I guess it was like that), and very quickly I started to feel and see again my surroundings in the classroom. I could again feel the small annoyances of the physical world (gravity, the contact with my chair, etc.), my first reaction was to scream to my friends: "Hey, have you seen that light?!!!!!", well, let me say that better: actually, I believe the first thought I had was wondering whether they had also seen the light: "have they seen that light?" I just wondered if they had also seen it!
But when I turned to my right and left sides, everybody was doing just about the same thing as before (talking, playing, etc.). They showed no special reaction at all, so I understood (or assumed) they had not seen anything (but I never asked them), so I kept quiet (I was like when you are in love, just feeling and thinking about the nice, soft and WONDERFUL feeling of LOVE...and quietly enjoying it, like in a sacred atmosphere), the class continued, it ended. I went back to my house and I told nobody for many years. I didn't tell my parents, nor my brothers, nor my friends, nor my teachers, nobody!
During my whole life I have not been much interested in telling people about it. To me, it was simply an intimate experience that I had, and I know for sure that there are other WONDERFUL realities that we cannot see now with our physical eyes. I have not been very much interested in this issue for many years. I mean "interested" in the sense of telling others, because to me it was indeed the most important experience of my life. The LOVE the Light gave away makes you feel TOTALLY happy, and feeling you need nothing else AT ALL to be totally happy. Things of this material world cannot compare AT ALL to that type of happiness, (and I would write "AT ALL" with even bigger letters if I could).
Why was I not interested in telling others about it? For different reasons: I did not have any idea if anybody else in the world had experienced something similar, and I knew nobody in person. When I turned around 21 I learnt for the first time an experience similar to mine from the book "Life After Life" from Raymond Moody, (I read an article about him in the newspaper). That's the first time I became aware that something similar had happened before to other persons, but I had no idea how many. In fact, I thought very few people in the world had experienced it. When I turned around 17 years old, I started reading the Bible, and I was surprised to find out so many references about "the light of God", etc. Since then, I always interpreted those words ("the light of God") as something literal, as opposed to something symbolic.
In my case, the Light irradiated a feeling of PURE, PURE, PURE LOVE, which I considered to be a very intimate experience. Also, the first persons I told about it, my parents, (I told them when I was around 23 years old), did not have a good reaction. They looked at me funny, like saying: "Who knows what he saw!" I didn't like their reaction very much. I don't think they understood what I was talking about. Then I tried to tell a few other persons, but their reaction was also kind of neutral or even negative, and I quickly said to myself: "Forget it!, they'll never understand it and I won't be able to explain it to them." So, I decided it was not worthwhile sharing it, because it is totally impossible to transmit feelings or to put them into words.
But last year
(starting February 2003). I have changed my mind. Why? Because I have found
Internet web sites:
, and I have realized that there are many more persons than I had ever expected
who have had similar experiences (many more). I also read an article in The
Lancet (cardiologist Dr. Pim van Lommelís 13 year study about NDEs in 10 Dutch
hospitals), I met other persons by e-mail (mainly from
So, my position right now about this subject is the opposite than during all of my life. Now I have changed my mind and I do want to tell people about it. If they donít believe it, thatís ok. If they think I am crazy, thatís ok (I know I am not). I have realized that many other persons don't talk about this issue because they are kind of afraid about people's negative reactions, and thatís why they keep it for themselves. I would also like to get in touch with other persons who have had similar experiences because, to tell you the truth, it is VERY frustrating talking to people who do not believe in these things. I really hope people become more open to this subject in the near future, and I hope they reflect about the content and the implications of it.JMN.