Paula S's Experience
in 1987. I was reading a book which was enthralling and in spite of being very
sleepy, I couldn't stop reading. I was laying in bed, holding the (heavy) book
in front of me, propping my elbow on my belly. At some point I realized I must
have dozed off, but I was still holding the book, I could see it, but I was
paralyzed. My eyes were open, I could see in front of me, but could not move at
all. Then I tried to call my grandmother but my voice wouldn't come out. I then
started hearing/feeling a strong vibration on my left, as if something was
"pounding" my ear. After a certain panic and struggle, it all sort of "crumbled"
and I could move again. I think this must have taken seconds, but it was very
scary for the duration. This was the beginning. I felt that many times again,
thinking I was waking up, only to find myself paralyzed, unable to open my eyes,
yell or anything.
attempting a few times to take a deep breath, it usually goes away. Sometimes I
can feel it coming on, while I'm about to fall asleep: I feel myself vibrate
intensely, or just shoot up like I'm a rocket... But an even stranger, much more
frightening thing has happened a few times since. Sometimes I feel as though I
were waking up and I feel like I get out of bed and try to move around. But I
sense that I'm not really out of bed, as though a part of me, my consciousness
perhaps, is out there, but my body, I'm sure, is on the bed (Iíve never seen it
though). But to consider this an out of body experience still stops short of
explaining the terrifying side of it. I feel I'm thrashing around in the dark -
I usually can't see much - I'm terribly confused, don't know if I'm really
awake, although I KNOW I'm not dreaming. I can't move freely, I'm stiff and
totally impaired. I manage to move somewhat, but certain parts of my body, my
limbs mostly, are either numb of too stiff. I try to shake off the sensation,
but it's like I'm trapped in a straight jacket with a hood over my head. I can
see that I "move" around my apartment, but am not able to actually do anything,
see or talk to anybody. I get a feeling, also, that I'm avoiding something that
can harm me. Like I'm trying to confront it. I know that during this I sometimes
remember to pray. I try to impose my own will and strength on it.
was then 22), I lay down to wait for lunch - I was hungry and light-headed. I
started dozing off and felt my toes starting to get numb and the sensation kept
creeping up my body. I had the feeling that when it reached my head I would lose
consciousness, so I decided to run over to where my mother, in her studio, was
painting. I remember going down the hall and opening the door of the studio and
seeing my mom painting, with her back to me. Then I suddenly "woke up". I then
literally got out of bed, opened the door of her studio and saw her there
painting, exactly as I had a few minutes before...
the best I can do in terms of expressing what happens to me. The first phenomena
doesn't scare me as much as it fills me with a sort of expectation, since I
would be incredibly happy to actually "see" proof of the beyond, as it were. But
the second occurrence I described (where I thrash around in the "dark")
terrifies me because I get a feeling that it is not coming from anything "good";
just the opposite in fact, although it could be just my fear of it, which is
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
it felt as it happened.
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening
was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?
mixed. like I said, i knew i wasn't dreaming, but had difficulty understanding
what it was, so that, and my fear of it, may have impaired my perception of it.
I think that if i am calmer, i can better assess what is happening. I can
remember it well enough, but while it's happening i don't have much clarity.
experience dream like in any way?
only in the
sense that i couldn't command my body as when i'm in my "normal" state. The
frightening aspect of it made me think at some point that it must be a
nightmare, although like i mentioned, i knew it wasn't a dream. When I am
dreaming, actually, i usually know it (lucid). So I can usually tell the
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
"thrashed around in the dark" I had a distinct feeling that my body was still in
bed, I knew I wasn't in it, even though I didn't see it (or anything else for
that matter). It made sense that I wasn't able to move freely.
emotions did you feel during the experience?
fear, but also positively overwhelmed because I knew it was a spiritual
experience. And I don't mean anything mystical; I believe in the spirit as a
form of energy, always from a viewpoint that doesn't clash (to me) with
you hear any unusual sounds or noises?
The first time
I experienced the paralysis I heard a rhythmic sound/vibration "pounding" my
Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar
religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or
first time I experienced paralysis I was in my room, could only see ahead of me
(unable to move head) and therefore saw only that part of my room. When I
involuntarily go out of body I still cannot see.
you see a light?
far I've been limited to my immediate surroundings (i THINK, since I can't
really see anything)
you meet or see any other beings?
you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state?
not get very far with obes yet, just the panicki experience i described. But
intend to try to obtain clarity in order to take it further.
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they
couldn't see. Heard vibrations or even myself thinking. Never touched anything.
you have any sense of altered space or time?
you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or
a feeling there was a reason this was happening, but nothing has been revealed
to me yet. I also have a distinct feeling that i'm supposed to learn how to work
and control this for some reason I don't yet know.
you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
way I was able to confirm that our spirit exists and have consciousness outside
has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices?
your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?
I said, there's hope in me that I'll live thru more exciting and enlightening
things, but my day to day has not changed radically.
you shared this experience with others?
different reactions. mostly though, people don't relate much.
emotions did you experience following your experience?
curiosity hope happiness fear, about everything i'm entitled.
was the best and worst part of your experience?
existence of spirit. all the possibilities that my result from this. hope. on
the bad side, FEAR (sometimes I just thought I might be loosing my marbles...)
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
better nowadays, after I've found people (thru internet) that have described
similar experiences. Although most experiences described don't match up in terms
of the sleep paralysis, the thrashing around in the dark, etc which made me feel
a little isolated from others who have obes.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.
what can be explained in terms of the sleep paralysis? From what i've read, it
seems to be a "preliminary stage" to obe's but by no means essential. Just one
of many ways of going oob, i guess.