Oliver E's Experience
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Experience description:
I was in a
nightclub, sat on the podium. It must be 4 a.m. I had done 4 ecstacy tablets,
and it is true that this has hallucinogenic effects - with 4 pills you see a
great deal of hallucinations, and sense "moods". Personally this mood is usually
akin to a "haunted house" vista with greens and purples and browns. I explain
what happened in just a minute, but first let me address now that I understand
some people will see the fact this was a drug related experience as
de-legitimizing the experience. Please let me attempt to counter this argument,
though i respect you if you are unpersuaded.
I know you
might be thinking "what about the world at the end of the tunnel" - sorry to
disappoint. I did not experience this world - or, more accurately, maybe I did,
but just wasn't allowed to remember it because of the particularly unusual way I
had accessed the "NDE" realm. My grandmother had died soon previously, and was
deeply religious. I wonder whether it was some kind of "gift" from her - some
kind of way of making me aware of the world she thought i probably (against her
preference) did not believe in. I will explain later I feel that some knowledge
was transferred in the end of the tunnel that i have forgotten about, and that i
was probably deliberately not made to remember what happened after the flash of
light.
many people on
ecstacy do report seeing images when their eyes are closed, some more than
others - me especially. but nobody i know can read documents that seemingly
appear from nowhere. when i am seeing these things i try to make it clear to the
medium presenting me with them that i want to solve murders, and i have had
names and objects i feel out of hunch which are related to possible future
murder crimes or past murder crimes. street names also appear.
but the unusual
thing about the tunnel was never has something been so vivid or given a physical
reaction which i feel. i have now started trying to access the NDE realm when i
go to sleep at night (Not on drugs - i only do drugs once every 6 weeks or so).
this involves closing my eyes and focusing on the tiny pieces of color that seem
to coat the eyelid when you squeeze them tightly. after a while one of several
things usually happens. i usually see tunnels getting bigger and smaller - but
not of the brilliant light kind i am aiming for. it seems i travel down many
darker tunnels but the problem is that you are aware that ultimately you want to
remember what is about to happen. that causes a problem.
the problem
being that you have to be at such a deep level of consciousness. that deep level
of consciousness and the reminding yourself and the getting excited about
remembering what are about to happen seemingly cannot coexist. but i am getting
there. i can now induce bizarre physical effects on myself involving one or all
of the following. sometimes my whole brain appears to be spinning around inside
my skull. almost always, my eyes can feel a flashing sensation as though they
are going into some kind of fit. twice i have had the strangest experience -
while not asleep, and fully conscious, focusing on trying to create a tunnel, my
EYES ARE MOVING INDEPENDENTLY OF EACH OTHER IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS AT A RAPID
PACE.
Firstly, I may have been accessing levels of consciousness so deep they bare
resemblances to the near-death state of fading consciousness and secondly it is
possible, unaware to myself, I was in danger from taking so many tablets.
Thirdly the experience was so vivid and produced a never-previously experienced
physical and mental hypnotic state. Finally, I am not religious and had never
heard about NDE's in any depth, and the little I had heard had maybe entered my
consciousness for 30 seconds in my 23 year lifetime. But there are huge
parallels between my experience and NDEers' experiences despite my
non-connectedness with other peoples' accounts prior to my experience. In other
words, because of the vividly of the experience i am about to describe and its
resemblance to other NDE's. I believe I was ACCESSING THE NDE DESTINATION - I'D
JUST COME DOWN A SELDOM USED HIGHWAY TO GET THERE.
I have since had amazing synchronicities ("coincidences" that seem impossible
mathematically) and one of those was reading about a man called Swedenborg who
trained himself to access the realm. Indeed, how was it that i came across a
book not about NDEs in the week following my NDE experience which had mention of
my very experience!!! Anyway, here is what happened.
I am on the podium. I've taken many drugs. I am feeling seriously
drug-influenced. I close my eyes and hunch forward, my head between my knees, my
hands dangling beside my ankles. Maybe 5 minutes pass. Then suddenly, from
nowhere - still with my eyes closed - I see a tiny pin of bright circular light
in the distance. In diameter i guess it was equivalent to a millimeter or two. I
focus on it, simple yet so beautiful. It gets bigger and bigger over maybe 3
seconds. When it is the size of my palm there is a "flash". I feel my cornea
physically in my skull in the same way your eye "hurts" if you suddenly look
from darkness to a very bright light. As it flashes I feel a very distinctive
sensation I have never before experienced.
That sensation is a kind of life-force which instantaneously permeates my entire
body. It felt like my shoulders hunched inwards slightly. Like an electric
current or even a quick, painless electric shock that enveloped my whole body.
Not just my body. My mind felt physically different. It would be what I imagine
hypnosis to feel like. Like an electric switch flicking your brain into the
deepest, most "at-one-with-itself" state of consciousness. It seemed like i was
in this state for about 10 maybe 15 seconds. Then, i found myself slowly opening
my eyes and folding myself out of the (pleasant) electric shock. I was back in
the normal world.
Any
associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the
experience?
Yes
4
ecstacy tablets
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
No
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening
event?
Uncertain
It's
possible that I was, unaware to myself, in some kind of danger having taken so
many pills
What
was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?
complete consciousness through the tunnel, then there was a flash and i
physically felt almost "possessed" by some kind of electrical force in my body,
while my mind snapped into a pleasant hypnotic feeling. then complete memory
loss until opening my eyes back into the "real" world.
Was the
experience dream like in any way?
No, but I have
had lucid dreams separate to this experience which i am convinced were visions
of the future or maybe of the interlife realm some people would call heaven, and
the colors are simply so brilliant and indescribable. the funny thing about the
tunnel of light that i saw is that you'd think a tunnel of light is simply a
tunnel of light, but that wasn't the case, the light seemed to have some kind of
healing property and was more comforting and bright than normal white light we
experience everyday.
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
No
Did
you hear any unusual sounds or noises?
No.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
Yes
Describe:
A pin prick of
brilliant light at the end of a tunnel. The light is very beautiful. It comes
nearer - you neither go to it nor does it come to you - it just comes bigger,
then there was a bright flash and i remember nothing until waking up in everyday
"reality"
Did
you see a light?
Yes
As
previous
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
No
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
No
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
No
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Uncertain
maybe
time didn't exist at the end of the tunnel. i guess that would be my guess
Did
you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or
purpose?
Uncertain
I
didn't at the time, no. But i now feel that when the light flashed and i
physically felt a force inside my body, that knowledge I have come across as
"hunches" in the following weeks to feel i have was transferred then
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
No
Did
you become aware of future events?
No
Were
you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?
No
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
that you did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain
Firstly I am an inventor and in the weeks following, I literally had tens of
ideas i did not even try to think of that seemed to be "beamed down" to me. at
times it was almost unbearable. my brain could not cope. i was being beamed
down. then i had several synchronicities involving personal good version which
were a million to one, and I feel that my experience, combined with the million
to one coincidences are something above's way of speaking to me, letting me know
because it was worried i had no belief in it (Which certainly i did not - in
fact, i used to describe humans as Robots made of Flesh and denounced any idea
of the human spirit as fantasy to make people more comfortable). Now i believe
in reincarnation, and infinite knowledge, infinity of everything
Did
you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
Yes
I've
been through this earlier. basically, i think we have infinite lives now, which
i did not before. I also believe it is possible to train oneself to access the
near death realm. whether this would involve hypnosis or meditation or a
combination of many things to access the realm and then report back i don't
know. but it's likely this would upset the higher order unless used by a
specifically chosen group of humans thought trustworthy enough only to reveal
what be deemed in the spirit of the force of good. for example, to solve murder
cases. with regard to special powers, i have since done drugs again, and find
that i can READ DOCUMENTS that appear in my eyes with my eyes closed.
i have seen many images (remember, this is not on drugs) that seem to flash up
at random, picture perfect. usually human faces i do not recognize, maybe for 1
second at a time. it takes immense concentration and i have only done it about
10 times. i read about someone called Swedenborg who trained himself to access
the NDE realm. and i've also heard of people who do this through meditation.
finally, when i try to access it, i usually raise my heart rate tremendously and
can feel the blood pumping through my entire body. my eyes also squeeze inwards
INVOLUNTARILY, as though my body is trying it's best to get me to the deepest
possible levels of consciousness
How
has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices?
Career choices?
I would say
material things seem insignificant now that i have appreciation of the existence
of the spiritual world.
Has
your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
I am
just more spiritually aware, and appreciative. less materialistic. take pleasure
in simple things like the sun.
Have
you shared this experience with others?
Yes
I
have told only my mother in any great detail, but because i want to let it known
i was on drugs at the time feel i can not really tell other members of my
family. I have told several friends, but they mainly laugh or think i am going
crazy, and of course that i was on drugs does not do a lot for the credibility.
personally, i just think drugs assist massively in allowing you to access a
deeper level of consciousness associated with accessing the deeper realm because
they relax the million thoughts a second you are bombarding yourself with during
normal consciousness
What
emotions did you experience following your experience?
I want to see
it again. and it seems like it is the most important thing in life to see the
tunnel of light again. i am on a mission to see it again.
What
was the best and worst part of your experience?
all good. but
my experience is very brief. i have only submitted it not because i think it has
a lot to offer in terms of what i saw but in terms of it has things to offer
from the perspective i want to make people open to the idea of accessing it
without being in a life endangered situation, and maybe people are neglecting to
look at that.
Is
there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
i do
think we should be looking at training ourselves to access this realm.
everything we have seen is ultimately always potentially viewable at any moment,
with the correct amount of preparation, or understanding. it just happens that
most people only see it as they are about to die/ die. i saw it on drugs. but i
believe we should start thinking about training ourselves to see it - but treat
it with respect obviously. The nights i try to access it i almost always have
very lucid dream experiences, including two dreams in which i "die" before
waking up which i have never had before. maybe the realm is teaching me a quiet
lesson by reversing the effects of abusing its order. maybe if i keep trying, it
will make the dreams progressively worse. i've also had a dream in which i awake
and feel my hands are being held behind my back by someone
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
Uncertain
I
have noticed that when watching TV for example, my body gets very excited if it
sees anything that might be seen to resemble a tunnel of light
Did
the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively
describe your experience?
Yes
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.
Maybe
ask people whether they had any new personal theories on the afterlife/ the
universe's origins just because it's interesting to hear people's ideas on these
subjects