Nicolla's STE 1155

Nicolla's Experience

Experience description:

I was about 9 years old. My parents had a large in ground pool and I don't remember much of the peripheral details of this event, except that it was a hot summer day and I was outside swimming with other children. I don't even know how many or who. I was sitting on the ground beside the pool under a large maple tree after getting out of the pool. I know I was still wet and dripping dry in the sun on the cement stones of the patio, likely sitting on a towel. I think I was eating a pink popsicle. I looked up and saw one of the other swimmers, a girl going down the slide. To this day I can't remember if it was my friend Jennifer or my cousin Joanne. They were about the same age as I was(9 ish) with brown hair so it really doesn't matter which girl, although I've always been curious to know. The girl was wearing a dark pink 2 piece swimsuit that looked almost red because it was wet. I think she had her hair in ponytails. She was doing a "Fonzie" (Happy Days) kind of thumbs up as she went down the slide. Don't forget it was the 70's. Ha ha.

In itself, no big deal! Just a normal summer activity.

The bizarre thing is that something odd happened in my consciousness as I watched this. I have never tried to explain it before but I've noticed that I think about this nearly every day for the past 30 years and I feel that it is truly significant although I can barely comprehend or explain it.

In the split second she would have taken to go down the slide, I had what I can only call a deep spiritual awareness. At the time I had no idea what to think of it as -- it was just "deep" and confusing for my young brain.

I remember looking at her and it was like time stood still. I remember thinking "my perspective is that I am over here looking at her. The trees are on my right and I see a slide and a girl". I realized that her perspective was different. To her, the world at that moment consisted of seeing me on a towel with the trees on (her) left since we were facing opposite directions.

I realized there was no such thing as true perspective. To everyone else the world is different. To us the world "consisted" of a backyard and pool although even between the two of us, our reality or perspective was different as noted above -- because each of us was looking at something differently. But to others I realized that at that very moment the world "consisted" of a different reality -- I realized some people were in war, starving, sleeping, whatever... all looking at different things and experiencing a different reality.

This weird feeling passed and then I knew that there was no reality as commonly perceived. Everything had multi-dimensions and infinite points of view or realities. I kept thinking "for the rest of my life I will only see, know, experience the world through my eyes and my reality, but other people see and experience other things. How can it be that I think my "reality" is truth and for the next 70 years this girl on the slide will see her "reality" and experiences as truth". This confused me. I was mixed between deducing that meant there was no true reality (since to everyone it was different) or that there really weren't any other people's perspectives. Maybe those other people only existed in my own consciousness and everything was like a dream.

I somehow knew or was told that the whole world was only like a figment of imagination in our minds. I also felt that since I could only account for my own perspective, the whole world was my own imagination. I think now the closest word I can find is disassociation.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words?          Yes

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?            Normal

            Was the experience dream like in any way? Not at all, except that it was so quick and instant

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No          Unless I separated quickly and came back with no perception of time lapse.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?          Confusion yet comfort

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?          no

LOCATION DESCRIPTION: Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?        No

Did you see a light?         No

Did you meet or see any other beings?         No

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         No

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?     Yes    That the world had no true reality since there were millions of realities and points of view working simultaneously. For example think of a car. You can look at the front. Someone can look at the back or the side. An atom can be inside it in the metal. There is a vantage point from under the seat, under the wheel, inside the wheel. All of these exist at once. So what is the reality of the car? Which perspective matters? Can all matter at once?

Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?           No

Did you become aware of future events?      No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?          No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?            Yes    Hard to say since I was so young. But I have felt disjointed from the world ever since I can remember. Like it is all a dream and nothing is real except that I conjure it (people, places, things) in my mind. I live in my mind and feel frustrated with having a physical body and trying to believe in "reality". Everything seems surreal and dreamlike. I feel like I am different from other people since I live so much in my thoughts.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?          Uncertain

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I always feel like a third party spectator watching my life like a tv show, although I am "in my body". I don't see myself physically as third person. It all just seems surreal. The movie The Truman Show terrified me.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?          Uncertain

Have you shared this experience with others?        No      What emotions did you experience following your experience?   confusion.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    It was interesting. I am still not sure I am explaining it properly or what it really meant.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?       No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes