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Natasha G's Experience

Experience description:   

I was 12 or 13 at the time with my biological mother, step father and 3 step brothers. Our financial circumstances were very poor. My stepfather was an alcoholic. My mother was extremely violent and mentally unstable. She was extremely violent and both physically and emotionally abusive towards me. My brothers got the bulk of emotional caring and warmth. I was mostly sidelined. My maternal grandmother was my only source of comfort. I cant remember the events of the day only that I "woke up" from being asleep. I was not ill at all. I was not emotionally distressed at that point but I was completely and totally drained and exhausted. I was in an environment that was non-ending. There was not point of reference to begin or end. It was not black but more grey. There were 100's of beings with me standing together. They were human form but had no physical human body. I remember feeling very calm safe and comfortable. I had an extreme sense of being in a natural state. I asked to go with them because I simply couldn't keep on living with my family. I desperately wanted to die and be with these beings. They said no, I have a life to live still I cant go with them yet but that I will be ok. There was a central figure of authority but there was also an equality with everyone. I accepted this and then simply woke up the next morning. These being were not of a specific sex and I did not know anyone. Death was never discussed but was regarded as a shocking taboo. You don't speak about it.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No  

Was the experience difficult to express in words?....No....

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?....More consciousness and alertness than normal    During the entire experience....I had an extreme sense of being in a natural state and environment.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.    Unsure how to comment. My vision was the same.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.    The same

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?    No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?....Calm relaxed and very content. No fear or anxiety whatsoever. A strong sense of acceptance.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?....No....

Did you see an unearthly light?....No....

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?....I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin   

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?....No   

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?....No....

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?....Some unfamiliar and strange place....

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?....No....

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?....No....I had no sense of needing to know anything or of human reasoning. Just a definitive sense of acceptance.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?....Uncertain....The other beings had a human resemblance but they were not physically human. I was the exact same as them but I did not see myself from a different angle. I was grounded in myself if that makes sense. I was aware of me and who and what I am as I am right now.

Did you come to a border or point of no return?....I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was "sent back" against my will....I wanted to go with the other beings but was denied this. I accepted it wholly and did not feel disappointed or unhappy.

Did scenes from the future come to you?....No....

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?....Uncertain....I had no insight or knowledge or reason for my earthly life only that it was something I had to finish. I have no choice in this.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:....Unknown....My views on equality has changed. I believe in absolute equality on all levels be it sex race religion human rights etc.....

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?    No     My beliefs is what I formed through life experiences. My NDE cemented that there is life after death but that it is possibly without god.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?....No    

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes   I don't share my experience with anyone. I have told my children and my husband and maybe one or two others. I feel it is very personal and private not because of feeling embarrassed by it but rather that it is sacred to me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?....No    

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:....Experience was definitely real   

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:....Experience was definitely real....

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?....No....

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?....Yes    I believe in a life after death but it has nothing to do with religion. I despise religion.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?....No   

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes   

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     The fact that I was not allowed to exit this life yet...