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MRG's Experience

Experience description:   

Aug 2008- As my brother passed, I was leaning over the side of his bed hugging him and telling him it was ok to go. His partner was on the other side of him leaning over and hugging him, saying similar things. His partner felt this sensation as well, but he no longer has any contact with me, but he confirmed it as it was happening, that he could feel it too.  

The rushing feeling I had go through me was right about where my torso was hugging him. It felt very fast moving and almost felt liquid like, but not really. It was almost a slight sensation of being breathless, like at the top of a roller coaster hill, but I had no problems breathing, it was just a slight sensation like that as this rushing sensation was occurring. It was very much not a part of me, it felt "other". Like belonging not to me. It began a few seconds before his machines no longer detected a H.R. and stopped very shortly before his Dr. "pronounced" his time of death to the nurses. Possibly lasting 30 seconds or so, maybe longer. 

Mar 09- I was reading email or doing something on my computer in our computer room alone and felt a large sensation rushing or rolling into the room behind me. I got a sensation or awareness of anxiety or urgency and I was scared, as this sensation felt large or dissipated, filling my small office area. I told it I was scared and if it were evil to leave me alone. I got a sensation from it, of being in a hurry or anxious or wanting me to do something to help, but I was not sure at the time, if the energy was angry or just pleading with me for something. I ran to my room and got in bed next to my husband. I did not even check on our children as I was scared!  

May 09- I heard five knocks and then one. Like knuckles on a wooden door. It was again in the computer room at night, but no energy, panicked sensation. The knocks seemed to have been on the wooden, cabinet door to the left of where I was sitting and very real. I opened up the cabinet to see if a cat or something was making the noise and there were only my books, not enough room for anything else to be making the knocks. I was not comfortable with this presence being that close to me and asked it to not come close like that again as I was scared again. 

Jun 09- My mother calls me to tell me she heard five knocks and then one at her home in Virginia. She was alone and on her computer in her room at night and heard wooden sounding knocks. She said she opened up her storm door and there was no one or anything there and then realized her storm doors are metal and locked, but the knocks were wooden sounding. She apparently knew right away it was my brother and she has positive feelings about his "visit". I did not tell her of my experiences, until today, Jul 23 2009. 

Jul 22 2009. I was again in my computer room playing the Sims game alone and this time heard several wooden sounding knocks in the wall between our garage and our computer room. I kept playing my game and became aware of suggestions, concerning how I need to spend more time on my relationship with my daughter.  

I went right to bed and watched TV because I was again sort of scared. The dog show was on and I watched a few dogs and handlers and heard another loud knock from my husbands night table area. He was sound asleep, but the next dog to come on the dog show was from my brother and my home town! I laughed and thought this was very funny because all these other times I had tried to not be open to communication from this knocking. So I opened up as much as I could in my mind and got a suggestion, "It can end with you." Which is meaningful to me regarding a conversation my brother and I had while he was living, about me not knowing how to be a good mother to a girl child as our mother had not a very close relationship to us as children, or with her own mother or even her mother with her mother and so on. I also got awareness or suggestions to contact his partner and I told him I try and try and his partner never contacts me back. I told him it was not up to me and to go to him. I got several other suggestions about my relationship with my husband and son as going well and are going to be well, but to focus on my relationship with my daughter more. Like getting closer to her and spending more time on her and putting myself aside a little as I was assured that everything else was doing well and was going to be well. I did not get any suggestions on anything negative happening to my daughter, if I was not closer to her, just an awareness that if I wanted" it (meaning a distant adult relationship) to end with me", I better pay more attention to her and my connection with her.  

I also got very sad and missed him and cried a lot! I wished for him to be in a good "vibration" or "after life" or "heaven" or whatever and to tell me about it, but I got only a slight notion from him of like a traveling or wandering. It was not a negative or positive notion from him, but more like a time and space, like an ageless state of being, that was just a matter of fact and like he had some sort of existence or purpose in his present state, but like he did not want to concern me with it, like it was not even important for me in this existence to even be concerned with it and closed off. I felt like a warm hug like sensation and I went to sleep after this. This whole experience probably lasted an hour or so.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

Because I have no frame of reference to describe the sensations or awareness of this energy or spirit.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Uncertain

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    Just the wooden sounding knocks. And mental pictures or suggestions. Kind of like wise counsel.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  The knocks were audible outside of me. I heard them. I did have a sense of knowing what was communicated on July 22 2009. But NOT Mar 09 AT ALL! That one freaked me out.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           I was just knocking like knuckles knocking a door.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           There are possibilities as we have children and animals, but everyone was asleep but me as that is when I get my quiet time in during the day and there were no animals in the room with me at the times.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Uncertain

Associated with the knocking, no. But his passing yes a physical sensation and the Mar 09 occurrence.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   Unfamiliar, not a skin type of touch. More an awareness of energy or a vibration.

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  Mar 09 anxiety or hurry

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Mar 09- urgent or anxiety

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Yes. Sensations or suggestions about future well being associated with my relationships with my husband and son and animals and to pay attention to my relationship with my daughter.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           The knocking was very audible.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No   

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Scared Mar 09 and May 09. Amused and sad July 22 2009

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           No

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      To me, there as not a best part. The worst part was that horrible feeling of anxiety or urgency coming from that energy.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      I have made more effort with my daughter and told my mother of this experience.

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have?         Other belief   
I want to know more. Does this happen to other people? Am I crazy? Why contact me, when I was not even thinking to contact him or even thinking of him at the time?     

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     I really did not want to be contacted and I did not want to know if that could happen or not. I feel like I had no choice in the matter.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain Just my mother hearing knocks too at her home in Va.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Fear, uncertain

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain

Just that slight awareness of existence other than this life, from him.

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes

Life is all good. I have made efforts to connect more with my daughter.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            Uncertain

I do not know if any of this is my brother. I have had other people pass on like my actual father and all of my grandparents. My mother had the idea that her knocks were my brother. The suggestions about his partner could mean it was him.

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     My mother and she was happy. I am still kind of freaked out.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Uncertain 

Outside one night, I felt embraced by a huge presence that was a positive feeling, but I had had alcohol earlier that day as it was a holiday where you are supposed to drink. Anyway, the next day I felt soooooo happy and rested!

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    No