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Molly R's Experience

Experience description:   

I'm sharing this, even though I was not near death at the time it happened, because what I experienced has so much in common, in terms of timelessness, communication method (without word), permeation of feeling of total love, and simultaneous-ness of thoughts with other people's Near Death Experiences. 

 My experience happened when I was about 6 years old. 

For background let me say that I always felt a bit homesick all my life.  I have always felt like this world is not where I belong, everything is foreign and I'm not "from here". 

I have prayed as long as I can remember and have felt close to God, my Heavenly Father.  The thought troubled me though, that when I prayed there were lots of other people praying and how could God hear me among all those prayers.  I was very young and Heavenly Father was very real to me. 

One day I was outside playing in my back yard right underneath the North West window of my back corner bedroom when I was thinking about Heavenly Father.  I don't remember why, but as I was thinking the thought occurred to me "I wonder if He is bald." My earthly father was mostly bald, I think that is why that thought came to me.  Immediately upon thinking that thought I felt bad about wondering that (I'm extremely prone to guilt feelings) and I suddenly looked up and just called out from my soul with a message that had no words, but basically I was saying "I'm sorry (for the thought)...I miss you SO much, I want to come home!!" I think my eyes must have been shut because I wasn't really seeing the sky.  I was just purely feeling. I hadn't even been able to complete the thought and expression of my feelings when, again simultaneously I received a returning thought full of feeling and love.  I will give the thought a description and order, but again, there was none.  It happened all at once and without actual words.  The answer was "I miss you every bit as much as you miss me and long for you to come home, and I feel that way about every one of my children." 

I just stood there with my head tilted upwards feeling that thought come to me.  I knew it was Heavenly Father and I was amazed that He'd given me that experience. 

I didn't tell anyone for many years.  I first started telling it to groups of young women I was in charge of teaching at church, then to adults.  I haven't told it a lot, just when appropriate and to go along with an important point.  Once my Mom was present when I shared this experience.  She later told meth at she remembered that day.  I was very surprised and I asked her how.  She said that as I was coming in the back door to our house from playing outside one day I said to her as I passed something to the effect of "I want to go home." she said she was afraid for a while after that that I might die because she immediately knew what I meant (plus the fact that I was walking into my own home at the time).  She has since passed on so I can't ask her exactly what I said, but she remembered day and what she heard from me for about 40 years before she made the connection upon hearing me talk about that day to others. 

I have relied on that experience my whole life to feel loved when I know I'm quite unlovable and to respect each person I meet as precious, beloved, and a greatly valued child of God.  

It has helped me in countless ways and kept me in a place where I can receive blessings and avoid misery throughout my life.  I am much less likely to judge people and much more likely to see the good in people than I would have been without this experience. 

I have not lost my feeling of homesickness, nor my feeling of not belonging to this world.  I'm grateful to be able to live here though and learn what I need to and fulfill my missions and promises by serving others...still though....I can't wait to get home and I think about it all the time. 

I have to also say that in general my memory is, and always has been bad, but this memory, nor the feelings I felt, have ever faded or changed.  I can still feel myself standing in exactly that spot - the way I was facing, my pose and posture, where the sun was in the sky, what I was looking at when I first had the silly thought that started it all... everything. 

I believe that the reason I was given this experience was two-fold.  One, I believe my Father had compassion on me because I was so believing and so worried that he didn't know about me (among all his children) and that day particularly I was sad to think I may have offended him (by wondering if he was bald).  It was all so sweet and childish and, like any parent, He desired to comfort me.   

I also believe He knew that I would reflect on and rely on that experience in tough times throughout my life.  He knew I was guilt prone and homesick and would tend toward despair and negative feelings a lot in my life and He wanted to provide one real expression of His unconditional Love to sustain me in those times. 

I can truthfully, and with the conviction of sure knowledge testify to all out there that they are loved deeply, unconditionally, and eternally and are held as precious and unique and needed by their loving Father in Heaven.  While we are away from Him during this important time He is ever present in our lives and he is powerful, perfect, and loving.  Please know this and never doubt.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No 

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     It was pure communication without words and so using words puts limitations on expression and the words chosen have connotations that leave the whole thing open to interpretation and assumptions.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    It happened quickly so the entire time...

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I was completely focused with not one other distraction or awareness of anything at all.  It was as if I was entirely made up of, and swallowed up in, the communication that was happening.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   I wasn't seeing anything, just feeling the communication.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
   I wasn't hearing anything.  The communication came without sound.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No   Once my Mom was present when I shared this experience.  She later told meth at she remembered that day.  I was very surprised and I asked her how.  She said that as I was coming in the back door to our house from playing outside one day I said to her as I passed something to the effect of "I want to go home." she said she was afraid for a while after that that I might die because she immediately knew what I meant (plus the fact that I was walking into my own home at the time).  She has since passed on so I can't ask her exactly what I said, but she remembered day and what she heard from me for about 40 years before she made the connection upon hearing me talk about that day to others.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   Love  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   No  

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   Yes   God was communicating with me.  I knew it was Him.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   No  

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No   I knew I lived with God before birth as much as I knew anything.  That was more real than current life, but I did not have a life review of earth life or remember specifics of pre-mortal life.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No
I was completely obtaining the communication and really only had feelings about it after I processed it.  I knew I was loved and longed for, but that feeling wasn't overwhelming as it would have distracted from the communication and me knowing that was paramount to me feeling all the Love coming at me at once.  I retain the knowledge as sure and unquestionable.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No
I understood the communication intended for me in utter completeness.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   No

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   It was express in the nature of what the subject being communicated was - it was an understood fact between us.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   He was communicating with me.  I knew it was Him.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   Yes   I was more aware of that fact than most people as I was constantly plagued with a feeling of "homesickness".

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   I learned that God longs for all His children to be with Him.  We are One With Him.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   Yes   A feeling of their necessity and temporary-ness.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   Yes   A feeling of their necessity and temporary-ness.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   When God expresses that He misses you then you feel very loved.  It's an amazing concept.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   Uncertain  

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   I felt my loving others was important...my main purpose.  That is why He had me feel of the importance of all His children as equal to my importance to Him.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   It was what I knew from my limited understanding, but I never dreamed I was so important to God, so that was new.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   I have to also say that in general my memory is, and always has been bad, but this memory, nor the feelings I felt, have ever faded or changed.  I can still feel myself standing in exactly that spot - the way I was facing, my pose and posture, where the sun was in the sky, what I was looking at when I first had the silly thought that started it all... everything.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I have relied on that experience my whole life to feel loved when I know I'm quite unlovable and to respect each person I meet as precious, beloved, and a greatly valued child of God.  

It has helped me in countless ways and kept me in a place where I can receive blessings and avoid misery throughout my life.  I am much less likely to judge people and much more likely to see the good in people than I would have been without this experience.

My experience directly resulted in:   Large changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
Yes   Valued myself and others more.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No       

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes 

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No  

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real  

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real  

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I know it's affected all my relationships because I am more able to love and respect myself and others.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Uncertain   I was so young.  I was trying to do what I knew was right and I am still trying to do what's right, but now I know I can rely on the power of the atonement to help me do, be, overcome, and become what I could not on my own.  I felt my limitations then and now, but I know where to go for help.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No     

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Uncertain   Nothing could comprehensively describe it, but I've done my best.  I could go on and on in some ways, but the essentials are there.