I - I must have been 8 or 9 years old. It happened while I was asleep.

I am walking in the courtyard of my house, but instead of arriving at the wall which delimits the courtyard, I invariably find myself on the edge of a cliff, and at this point it becomes a very realistic experience. Below, a kind of grey city, deserted, misty, calling to me, literally. And a sad music rising up from the city. I am very, very tempted to jump, but I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that if I do jump, I will never awake again. I am just there, infinitely sad, torn between the desire to jump and the desire to remain. Each time, I retraced my steps, or else the sequence of the dream would change, after a long moment of hesitation.

In this "dream" I have a complete human body.

I had this dream for some years.

II - Still in sleep, I see myself sitting in a grandstand with a masculine presence beside me. I cannot see his face. The stands seem to be in ruins, there is no stadium below. My gaze is directed to the left and there I see a sort of plain, but of such a beautiful green!! No flowers, only grass, like a lawn, perfectly mown. A luminous green. In the background, a forest which exerts a terrible power of attraction on my being. I decide to cut short the dream. I am not ready. Still, I have felt a great serenity while looking at this landscape.

III - Still in sleep, (having gone to sleep thinking that I have a really boring life and that nothing could extricate me from this visceral boredom), I land on a dirt road. But what sort of dirt! The sand seemed to be made of powdered pearls. At the side of the road there were flowers, which deep down I knew did not exist on earth. That beauty and those colors are not yet possible here. I could not stop saying "Oh my God, oh my God! This cannot be possible, it's too beautiful! When I tell mama about this!!" Note that in this dream, I was no more than a pair of eyes and a "nose", so to speak. I could smell and I could see. But not the imitation smelling and seeing we have on earth, I could truly  smell and see. It was as if a membrane had been lifted from my eyes, and my true faculty of sight was revealed in its totality. Furthermore, I found myself automatically at the height of what I was looking at. Now at ground level, now at the height of a tree-branch.

IV - Still in sleep. This experience is the one which makes me think more of a NDE.

I am falling in a black void, but when I say black, I really mean BLACK. A black so opaque that I asked myself if I had my eyes closed. And then I find myself at a sort of threshold, as if coming out of a cellar. In front of me a misty landscape and some people a few yards away who seemed to be waiting for me. At this moment I was happy to see them again (??? but I could not remember who they were) and we greeted one another warmly. I cannot explain my behaviours. I did not really see them, but I felt them, I even said to one of them "At last! About time, I'm really glad to be back." I felt I had come home, my true home, after a long absence. I was happy in a way I cannot explain, even to myself. Never had I felt so much at home. I wondered how it was I could have forgotten that this was my home, right here. We were conversing (it seems that I spoke with my mouth, but that they also caught my thoughts and replied to me in thought) when suddenly everything began to turn white. I could go on for hours about this white!! God, it is really white, this white!!!! Pure, luminous whiteness! And while everything was eclipsed in whiteness I felt an immeasurable peace, no cares, no pain, nothing, just peace, total wellbeing, and a love which forces out tears of happiness. I entered this light, as if I was a part of it. I was absorbed in it. I said to myself that this must be God. I said to him "I almost forgot you, forgot who you were". I felt him laugh gently. He communicated something like (I am trying to put this into words; it was given to me in thought, and so at the speed of thought) "I am still here" or perhaps "I have always been here". I put myself on what seemed to be his knees, a bit like a little cat or a small child on the knees of his master. Just being there, enjoying his love and his light. He was big. Without exaggerating, he felt big in every sense of the word. Physically, spiritually above all. I no longer remember what else we can have talked about. At a certain point, I felt that I had to leave. I knew I had to, I know I have not yet done all I have to do here. I did not discuss it or argue. It was already such a blessing to have been so far. I just left.

And found myself right in the centre of the cosmos together with another soul and a familiar presence (my guardian angel?), and it was there that everything seemed to me to be so obvious, everything! The "whys" of all the "hows" were suddenly clear to me. I remember saying to myself "But of course, yes! How could I have forgotten all that???" I dreaded at this moment that after the experience was over - for I was very lucid - all this would vanish again (as in fact it did).

There, that is what I remember...

Original in French

Il y a plusieurs exp�riences; certaines �taient r�p�t�es. Je regrette de ne pas les avoir racont�es plus t�t. je crains que certains d�tails ne m'aient �chapp�.

I- je devais avoir 8 � 9 ans. Ca se passe dans mon sommeil.

Je marche dans la cour de ma maison et au lieu d'arriver au mur est qui limite la cour, je me retrouve invariablement devant une falaise, et l�, �a devient tr�s r�aliste. En bas, une esp�ce de cit�e grise, d�serte, brumeuse qui m'appelle litt�ralement. Et cette musique triste qui monte de la cit�. Je suis tr�s tr�s tent�e de sauter mais je sais sans l'ombre d'un doute que si je saute, je ne me r�veillerai plus jamais. Je suis juste l�, infiniment triste, et partag�e entre l'envie de sauter et l'envie de rester. A chaque fois, je suis revenue sur mes pas, ou alors la s�quence de r�ve � chang� apr�s un long moment d'h�sitation.

Dans ce "r�ve", j'ai un corps humain, entier.

Ce r�ve, je l'ai fait pendant des ann�es.

II- Toujours dans mon sommeil, je me vois assise dans des gradins avec une pr�sence masculine � mes c�t�s. Je n'ai pas vu son visage. Ces gradins sont comme en ruine, il n'y a pas de stade en bas. Mon regard est d�tourn� vers la gauche et l� je vois une esp�ce de plaine mais d'un vert tellement beau!! pas de fleur, juste de l'herbe, comme du gazon , taill� impeccable. Un vert lumineux. Et au fond une for�t qui exerce un pouvoir d'attraction terrible sur mon �tre. Je d�cide de couper le r�ve. Je ne suis pas pr�te. J'ai cependant ressentie une grande s�r�nit� en regardant ce paysage.

III- Toujours dans mon sommeil. ( je me suis endormie en pensant que j'avais une vie bien ennuyeuse et que rien ne pourrait me tirer de cet ennui visc�ral)

j'atterris sur un chemin de terre. Mais quelle terre! le sable semblait fair de poudre de perles. A bord du chemin il y avait des fleurs qu'en mon fort int�rieur je sais ne pas exister sur terre. Cette beaut� et ces couleurs ne sont pas encore possibles ici. Je n'ai pas arr�t� de dire "oh mon Dieu Oh mon Dieu! c'est pas possible c'est trop beau ! qd je vais raconter �a � maman!!" Notez que dans ce r�ve, je n'�tais qu'une paire d'yeux et un "nez" si je puis dire. Je sentais et je voyais. Mais pas ce semblant de sentir et de voir qu'on a sur terre, je sentais et voyais vraiment. Comme si on m'avait enlev� une membrane des yeux et que ma vraie facult� de voir �tait r�v�l�e dans sa totalit�. D'autre part, je me retrouvais automatiquement � hauteur de ce que je regardais. Tant�t au ras du sol, tant�t � la hauteur d'une branche d'arbre.

IV- Encore dans mon sommeil. Cette exp�rience ci m'a plus fait penser � une EMI;

Je tombe dans un vide noir mais quand je dis noir, c'est vraiment NOIR. Un noir si opaque que je me suis demand� si j'avais les yeux ferm�s. Et je me retrouve comme au seuil d'une porte, un peu comme si je sortais d'une cave. Devant moi un paysage brumeux et des gens � quelques pas de moi qui semblaient m'attendre. Sur le moment j'�tais heureuse de les revoir (??? mais je ne me rappellais pas qui ils �taient) et on se saluait chaleureusement. je ne m'explique pas mon comportement. Je ne les voyais pas vraiment mais je les ressentais. j'ai m�me dit � l'un " enfin! il �tait temps, je suis vraiment contente de renter". Je me sentais revenir chez moi, le vrai chez moi apr�s un long moment d'absence. J'�tais heureuse comme je ne me l'explique pas. Je ne m'�tais jamais autant sentie chez moi. Je me suis demand� comment j'avais pu oublier que c'�tait l� chez moi. Nous �changions (il me semble que je parlais par la bouche mais qu'ils captaient aussi mes pens�es et me r�pondais en pens�e)qd soudain tout � commenc� � devenir blanc. Je pourrais disserter des heures sur ce blanc !! bon sang, �a c'est du vrai blanc!!!! pur lumineux, BLANC! et en m�me temps que tout s'�cilpsait sous le blanc je ressentais une paix incommensurable, plus de souci, plus de douleur, plus rien, de la paix un bien �tre total et un amour qui vous arrache des larmes de bonheur. Je suis entr�e dans cette lumi�re, comme si j'en �tais une partie. J'�tais confondue � elle. Je me suis dit que �a devait �tre Dieu. Je lui ai dit "j'ai failli t'oublier, oubier qui tu �tais" je l'ai senti rire doucement."il m'a transmis quelque chose comme (j'essaie de mettre des mots dessus; c'�tait transmis par pens�e et donc � la vitesse de la pens�e) "je suis toujours l�" ou bien" j'ai toujours �t� l�" Je me suis mise sur ce qui m'a sembl� �tre ses genoux, un peu comme un petit chat ou un petit enfant sur les genoux de son maitre. Juste l� comme �a, profitant de son amour et de sa lumi�re. Il �tait grand. Pas exag�r�ment, mais je le sentais grand dns tous les sens du terme. Physiquement, spirituellement surtout.Je ne me souviens plus ce qu'on a pu se dire d'autre. A un moment, j'ai senti qu'il fallait que je parte. Je savais qu'il fallait que je le fasse, je sais que je n'ai pas encore fait tout ce que j'ai � faire ici. Je n'ai pas discut�, pas rechign�. C'�tait d�j� une b�n�diction d'�tre arriv�e jusque l�. Je suis partie simplement.

Pour me retrouver au beau milieu du cosmos avec une autre �me et une pr�sence famili�re (mon ange gardien?)et l� tout m'a sembl� �vident, tout! le pourquoi de tous les comments m'�taient soudain �vidents. Je me rappelle m'�tre dit " mais oui bien s�r! comment ai-je pu oublier tout �a???" je redoutais � cet instant qu'� la fin de l'exp�rience -car j'�tais tr�s lucide- tout cela ne se volatilise � nouveau..(ce fut le cas)

Voil� ce dont je me souviens..

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain A force de ne pas en parler, certains d�tails s'effacent inexorablement.

Uncertain, through not talking about it, certain details fade inexorably.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? Uncertain Pas que je sache. Je m'�tais endormie quand soudain plut�t que d'un r�ve lucide (j'en fais tr�s souvent) je me suis retrouv�e... ailleurs.

Uncertain, not as far as I know. I had gone to sleep when suddenly, rather than having a lucid dream (which I have often) I found myself... elsewhere.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Tr�s �veill�e. Emerveill�e, consciente de ma chance d'�tre l�. Lucide, et r�alisant pleinement qu'� un moment je reviendrait dans mon corps.

Very awake. Full of wonder, conscious of my good luck in being there. Lucid and fully conscious that at a given time I would come back to my body.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: Tr�s �veill�e. Emerveill�e, consciente de ma chance d'�tre l�. Lucide, et r�alisant pleinement qu'� un moment je reviendrait dans mon corps.

Very awake. Full of wonder, conscious of my good luck in being there. Lucid and fully conscious that at a given time I would come back to my body

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Uncertain Dans le cosmos, je voyais � 360�; Dans la lumi�re, je voyais juste devant moi, ce que je voulais voir. Pas cherch� � regarder ailleurs, la lumi�re englobait tout de toutes mani�res. Sur le chemin bord� de fleurs, et dans la plaine, les couleurs �taient hyper lumineuses, vraies. Plus tard j'ai d�couvert des peintures qui s'en rapprochaient un peu. Des peintures de kagawa.

Uncertain. In the cosmos, I had 360� vision; in the light, I could only see in front of me, what I wanted to see. I did not try to look elsewhere, the light enfolded everything, anyway. On the road lined with flowers, and on the plain, the colors were intensely luminous, and true. Later I found paintings which came near to this in some degree. Paintings of Kagawa.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Uncertain J'entendais directement dans ma t�te.

Uncertain, I heard things directly inside my head.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Devant la falaise, une tristesse tr�s profonde que je ne m'explique toujuors pas.

Devant la for�t, le chemin aux fleurs, de l'�merveillement, une grande paix, la sensation d'avoir beaucoup de chance.

Dans la lumi�re, un amour immense et beaucoup de reconnaissance. La sensation d'avoir eu la chance de revenir � la maison me ressourcer avant de continuer la route.

Dans le cosmos, une sensation de d�j� vu. J'�tais �tonn�e d'avoir pu oublier tout �a. Et du bonheur. Comme quand on revient dans son �l�ment, celui o� on se sent soi.

On the cliff-edge, a profound sadness which I still cannot explain to myself.

Seeing the forest, the flower-lined path, wonder, a great peace, a feeling of great good fortune.

In the light, an immense love and much gratitude. The feeling of having come home and refreshed myself before continuing on my way.

In the cosmos, a feeling of d�j� vu. I was astonished that I could have forgotten all that. And happiness. Like returning to one's element, where one feels oneself.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Uncertain Je suis comme sortie d'une cave vers une aire brumeuse.

Uncertain. It was as if I came from a cellar into a misty area.

Did you see a light? Yes

Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes Des personnes que j'aimais beaucoup, que j'�tais tr�s heureuse de revoir -�a implique qu'on s'�tait quitt�s mais quand?- mais que je r�alise que je ne connais pas.(maintenant je le r�alise)

Yes, persons I loved greatly, whom I was very happy to see again - this implies that we had parted from one another, but when? - but then I realize I do not know them ( I  realize this now ).

Did you experience a review of past events in your life? Uncertain Je ne me souviens pas. Je sens que certains d�tails sont sortis de ma m�moire malgr� mes efforts.

Uncertain, I don't remember. I think some things have slipped my memory despite my efforts.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes Le cosmos.

Ce genre d'incursions dans d'autres dimensions m'arrive souvent. Je ne les ai pas toutes racont�es ici. Parfois je m'y retrouve juste en promenade.

Au cours de l'une d'elles, il me revient avoir travers� une for�t, �tre entr�e dans un temple et avoir vu une quantit� impressionnate de livres. Une pr�sence que j'identifie comme un vieux sage en toge blanche m'a fait comprendre que ces livres parlaient de pouvoir de gu�rison par les plantes. J'ai essay� de lire le titre de l'un d'eux: impossible. Malgr� tous mes efforts, je n'ai pas pu, les lettres m'�chappaient .. je sais pas comment l'expliquer. Comme si je n'avais jamais su lire.

Yes, the cosmos.

This type of entering into other dimensions often happens  to me. I have not related all these things here. Sometimes I find myself there when I'm just out walking.

During one such event, I remember going through a forest, entering a temple and seeing an impressive number of books. A presence, whom I identify as a wise old man in a white toga, made me understand that these books spoke of the power of healing through plants. I tried to read the title of one of them; impossible. For all my efforts, I could not manage it, the letters escaped me... I don't know how to explain this. As if I had never known how to read.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes Dans le cosmos, le retour de connaissance � ma conscience s'est fait � une vitesse surhumaine. Quand l'�value tout ce qui m'est revenu comme connaissance, desvies enti�res ne suffiraient pas � les emmagasiner.

Yes, in the cosmos, the rushing back of knowledge into my consciousness happened at superhuman speed. When I examing everything that came back to me in the way of knowledge, entire lifetimes would not be enough to store it all.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes Tout allait de soi, je comprenais TOUT. J'ai toujours �t� nulle en Maths, mais m�me les formules maths les plus abstraites (pour moi) m'ont soudain sembl� logiques et �videntes.

Tout a une raison d'�tre. Ce que je pensais �tre des injustices, n'en sont pas. Et en plus c'�tait comme si je l'avais toujours su et que mon passage sur terre me l'a fait oubiler.

Yes, everything happened automatically, I understood EVERYTHING. I have always been hopeless at Math, but even the most abstract (to me, that is) mathematical formulae suddenly seemed logical and obvious to me.

Everything has its underlying reason. What I thought of as injustices, are not so. Also, it was as if I had always know this and that my entry into earth existence had made me forget it.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes Devant la falaise. Elle m'appellait litt�ralement, j'avais une envie de sauter, malgr� mon instinct de survie. J'ai eu peur je crois parce qu'une voix tr�s insistante me faisait comprendre que si je sautais je mourrais. C'�tait ainsi quasimment tous les soirs pendant des ann�es. Une sorte de tentation, et l� voix, infatiguable qui me retenait.

Yes, on the cliff-edge. It called to me, literally, I had a desire to jump, despite my survival instinct. I was fearful, I think, because a very insistent voice made me understand that if I jumped, I would die. It was like this almost every evening, for years. A sort of temptation, accompanied by the tireless voice, which restrained me.

Did you become aware of future events? No


Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Uncertain D�s que mon esprit formule une question existentielle ou quand je m'adresse � Dieu, que je pose une question, j'ai une r�ponse dans ma t�te. Comme si je conversais avec quelqu'un.

Uncertain. As soon as my mind forms an existential question, or when I turn to God, with a question, I have the reply in my head. As if I was conversing with someone.

Have you shared this experience with others? Yes ma m�re, un coll�gue. Incr�dules mais bon, ils �coutent poliment. Ma m�re a fini par en �tre curieuse. Elle me croit peut �tre.

Yes, with my mother, with a colleague. They were incredulous, but, well, they listened politely. My mother ended up feeling curious. It may be that she believes me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Oui. Un de mes oncles maternels en a eu une quand il �tait enfant, suite � une longue maladie (une h�morragie interne qui n'en finissait pas, apr�s deux op�rations). Il avait d�j� re�u l'extr�me onction, quand le pr�tre qui tenait sa main a senti son pouls une demie heure apr�s qu'il ait �t� d�clar� mort. Apr�s son retour, il �tait gu�ri.

Yes. One of my maternal uncles had one when he was a child, after a long illness (internal hemorrhage which went on and on, after two operations). He had already received the last rites, when the priest who was holding his hand felt a pulse, half-an-hour after he was declared dead. On his return, he was cured.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Chacune d'elles �taient r�elles et les impressions qu'elles m'ont laiss�, m�me si les d�tails s'estompent par d�faut de verbalisation, sont vives. J'y retournerais volontiers, mais � condition de revenir. J'ai un fils que je n'ai pas fini d'�lever, et cette sensation de ne pas en avoir fini avec ce que j'ai � faire ici.

Experience was definitely real. Each one of them was real, and the impressions they left me with, even if the details are blurred, lacking verbalization, are still vivid. I would go back willingly, on condition I might return here. I have a son I have not finished raising, and the feeling I have is that I have not finished what I have to do here.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? La rencontre avec la Lumi�re. c'�tait comme pour me r�conforter. Rien ne mena�ait ma vie, je ne pense pas avoir �t� morte. C'�tait juste un petit coucou � la maison avant de reprendre la route. Et puis toutes les autres exp�riences qui m'ont aid� � r�aliser combien nos sens peuvent �tre multipli�s hors du corps physique. Et aussi qu'il existe un endroit o� je me sentais plus chez moi que jamais.

The encounter with the Light. It was as if it was to comfort me. Nothing threatened my life, I don't think that I died. It was just a brief stop-off at home, before continuing on my way. And all the other experiences have helped me to realize how much our senses can be enhanced, outside our physical bodies. Also, that there is a place where I felt myself at home more than I ever had.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain J'ai toujours les m�mes amis, mais j'ai une plus grande ouverture d'esprit envers tout le monde. J'apprends � aimer vraiment, inconditionnellement, totalement, � m'aimer moi m�me, � pardonner et � me pardonner, j'essaie d'aimer d'un amour qui puisse tendre vers celui que j'ai ressenti l� bas (j'y arriverai jamais, il �tait immense!!)et je suis plus assoiff�e que jamais de connaissance ( sur les autres peuples, sur moi m�me, sur les humains en g�n�rale, sur tous les sujets possibles et imaginables)

Uncertain. I still have the same friends, but I have more openness of spirit towards everyone. I am learning to love truly, unconditionally, totally, to love myself, to forgive and be forgiven. I am trying to love with something approaching what I felt there (I will never get there, it was immense!!) and I thirst more than ever for knowledge (about other peoples, myself, humanity in general, all the subjects possible and imaginable).

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain Je parle � Dieu comme je lui ai toujours parl�, je pousse des coups de gueule parfois, puis je m'excuse sinc�rement, mais j'ai l'impression de mieux le comprendre. Il est tr�s grand certes mais de ma vision de petit �tre je r�alise l'immensit� de la t�che qui est la sienne. Chacun devrait s'�vertuer � trouver quelle est sa partition et la jouer avec autant de justesse que possible. Mais ce n'est que mon point de vue..

Uncertain. I speak to God as I always have, I shout aloud sometimes, then apologize sincerely, but I think I understand him better. He is obviously very great, but from my viewpoint as a small being I realize the immensity of his task. Everyone should try all they can to find what is their part, then play it as well as possible. But this is just my own point of view...

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes