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Michelle B's Experience

Experience description:   

I have had a few experiences that I would like to share but I will start with this one.  In may of 2010 I was in prison due to poor choices I made regarding drinking and driving.  I was an alcoholic and had numerous DUI convictions. (I have not had alcohol since). One morning about a month before I was set to be released I was in a church service.  I was neither happy or sad, under no distress at all.  I was sitting waiting for the service to start and there was some music and singing.  I felt very peaceful.  I was sitting with a large group of people I did not know.  When I felt...Love! unconditional glorious LOVE come in my presence, or me into it's presence.  I then saw what I can only describe as a vision of light.  Wonderful glorious light that was alive like an energy of love. This is very hard to describe. The light was so bright but not a bright that it hurt my eyes like the sun.  The 'light' was an energy, but thick like honey not tangible but like touchable energy?? It was separate yet I was connected to it through my own energy or spirit. It sorted of pulsated like it was alive. It seemed like the center of it was brighter? And I could not see an end to it. Nor was I seeing it with my eyes. It was love.  Love that I could see and feel with more than my five senses. I am not describing it well, there are not words for it.  My spirit seemed to expand beyond the confines of my earthly physical body.  I never felt as though I left my body, only expanded.  Time seemed to stand still or rather there was no time.  It felt as though I was between time?  My spirit seemed to expand to bring me closer to the light. I was still somewhat in my physical body and my body could not handle the emotions and love I was feeling.  My physical body was weeping uncontrollably. I was not concerned with my body, I just noticed that it was not handling it well.  I had tears of Joy running down my face, soaking my shirt profusely. The unconditional LOVE I felt was overwhelming and I knew that I was only being permitted to feel a glimpse of how truly profound it was. There is nothing to compare it to, to convey how wonderful it was.  If the scale was 1-100. I was only experiencing a 1 on that scale and it was so profound that my physical body could not handle it.  I felt like if the light, which I knew to be God, let me feel more that I would just explode. I felt like I was being held back in a way, that I could only come so close.  I was then shown, God, the light, energy never spoke but impressed upon my spirit things like unconditional love and total acceptance.  I was told without words to look beyond.  I saw eternity.

Time, or a lack of 'time' as we know it.  I saw eternity and how it works.  At the time I saw eternity I said. " oh, that's how it works" and I understood it completely and it was so simple. Like 'well, that is so easy, why did I know that?  Yet now, I couldn't explain it to you at all.  I just 'know' it.  I still know it, but cannot explain it with words.  Next I saw I saw people or spirits or souls what ever you would like to call us.  I saw every person everywhere in all of eternity dead and alive physically.  We were connected to the light through a gold cord of light. The cord of light ran from the center of our chest or spirit, although the people I saw including myself did not have physical bodies they were more like spirits or energy?   Everyone's cord went from them to God, the light. During this time I 'thought' "I thought only Christians were connected to God in this way. But all these people are not Christians, we are all connected?"  I remember feeling glad about that and happy that God is with everyone regardless of their religious beliefs.  There was NO separation.  Which I understand completely but went against my former religious teachings that you had to have Jesus as Savior to be connected to God.  I think there is more to this but what I was shown was Gods light and love goes to each of us. We are part of Him whether we know it or not. We are all connected in spirit because we are all connected to God. This was just a knowing.  It was not explained to me or spoke to me. Just impressed upon me without words.  I could see it with spiritual eyes.  During this time I was still aware of my earthly body and surroundings but they felt unimportant.  I never left my body, only expanded with my spirit.  Then it faded per say and I returned to time and the church service.  I am left with a profound sense of Love and Joy and I long to be in that presence again.  I still feel it in a way, the feeling is dulled but still there.  I have wondered why I was permitted to see this as I feel unworthy of such absolute love and acceptance.  I am forever changed.

 I will take the time to share my second experience as it is similar.

First let me explain that I am a Christian.  I believe in Christ as my savior.

About a year prior to this I told Jesus,  You know that I was severely abused by men in my childhood and I love you as a savior but I don't trust you as you were a man So.. just help me to deal with this or just stay away because I'm afraid of you.  I would rather just believe in and worship God because He is not or was not a man and I feel trust with him. So that's how I always 'dealt' with Christ.

  In June of 2010, I was in a yoga class in prison.  I always liked the yoga because at the end of class we had a short meditation period and it was so nice to have a moment of quiet.  Prison is LOUD and unpeaceful. So at the end of yoga during meditation, I was relaxed and at ease.  While in meditation Jesus appeared to me in a vision, I guess I would say vision for lack of a better word. I immediately became frightened and said to Him.  "What are you doing here go away!! I am frightened!.  He simply looked at me lovingly and walked away.  Then I said " No Jesus, I'm sorry I am just scared. Please come back".  When he returned he brought my little brother with him.  (My brother committed suicide at 17 years old.)  I then spoke to my brother without words but through our minds, I think you can say telepathically?  I said " Oh Dewey, I want to come with you, I want to come home now"  He smiled and said "Yes you will come but it is not time yet.  It is really wonderful here. You will like it very much".  I said " I want to come now, please ask them if I can come home now, I don't like it here (on earth I meant)".  He said " You will, but you have things you have to do. You are needed there right now".  Although he didn't really say "you are needed there".  He 'impressed' upon me that I was needed for something. I immediately just knew that it was true and I was a little sad about it but understood what why I had to stay. Jesus was beside Him but did not speak to me. He was just present.  They were both peaceful and loving and unexplainably happy.  Then my eyes opened and I was 'back'.  But I never 'left' so I cant explain how this all happened.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No      


Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     There just doesn't seem to be words to express what I saw and felt.  I struggle with telling others because it was just overwhelming and I feel limited to describe the experience in the manner worthy without the right words.  It was so much MORE than I can convey.  It almost feels sacred and to limit it to words seems to be "dishonoring" the experience.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No       no threat at all.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           heightened awareness

           
Was the experience dream like in any way?   no

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No       I was still in my body but my consciousness seemed to 'expand' if that makes sense. Sort of like a release from constraints.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Unspeakable joy and love and higher knowledge.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           no

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No           

Did you see a light?           Yes     This is very hard to describe. The light was so bright but not a bright that it hurt my eyes like the sun.  The 'light' was an energy, but thick like honey not tangible but like touchable energy?? it was separate yet I was connected to it through my own energy or spirit. It sorted of pulsated like it was alive. And I could not see an end to it. It was love.  Love that I could see and feel with more than my five senses. I am not describing it well, there are not words for it.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     I saw spirits/souls that were connected to God through a cord of light or energy.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes     I had an extra sense if you will, that was not my physical normal 5 senses.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     Time. During the experience I seen eternity and how it works.  At the time I saw eternity I said. " oh, that's how it works" and I understood it completely and it was so simple.  Yet now, I couldn't explain it to you at all.  I just 'know' it.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes     I saw people or spirits or souls what ever you would like to call us.  I saw every person everywhere in all of eternity and we were connected to the light through a gold cord of light. The cord of light ran from the center of our chest or spirit, although the people I saw including myself did not have physical bodies they were more like spirits or energy?   Everyone's cord went from them to God, the light. During this time I 'thought' "I thought only Christians were connected to God in this way. But all these people are not Christians, we are all connected?"  I remember feeling glad about that and happy that God is with everyone regardless of their religious beliefs.  There was NO separation.  Which I understand completely but went against my former religious teachings that you had to have Jesus as Savior to be connected to God.  I think there is more to this but what I was shown was Gods light and love goes to each of us. We are part of Him whether we know it or not.  This was just a knowing.  It was not explained to me or spoke to me. Just impressed upon me without words.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No      

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Uncertain      I did not feel like I left my body, only that my spirit expanded in a sense.  That my spirit was not contained but overflowed and then shrunk? back to return.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes     This too is hard to explain but I have now a knowing about people and I can 'read' them well.  I know by looking in someone's eyes their spirit, their pain their essence if you will.  I see the spirit in all people but at the same time I can see or feel the way they are 'weighted' down with something. I'm not sure what to do with this or why I have it, yet.   I do know that I have a 'calmness' in my spirit that people sense and comment on.  For example people say things like. 1. I feel so calm and peaceful around you. 2. Your home is so 'peaceful' I don't understand what it is when I come here. 3. You have a 'presence' about you, I love but don't understand, I always look forward to coming here. (customers in my office).  I have a knowing about people but do not know what to do with it yet.  A somewhat discouraging result of this gift is, I will sometimes sense something negative, troubling, bad or upset in someone. They will not look in my eyes and my spirit inside me senses their troubled spirit.  They literally run from me either physically walk away or turn away from me spiritually if that makes sense.  I don't pursue it now because I have in the past and whatever is inside them gets 'aggressive' in a sense.  I have a touch of psychic abilities I guess you could say but only if it comes to me.  For some reason I can not will it.  If it comes to me fine but I can't think and make it happen.  When it does happen it is always for another's benefit not my own.  A small example.  if someone says give me a keno number, I can tell immediately what number to play and it always hits but if I try to 'think of a number' its never right.  I avoid this though because it 'feels' wrong in some way.



Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     although I am a Christian and believe in Christ as my Savior.  I struggle with the Churches teaching that this is the only way.  Because that is definitely not what I saw in the light.  I second experience I had confirmed Jesus.   I 100% know Jesus but I let people love and know God in their own way.  I feel that all people should know God in the way God wants them too.  Its more personal per say than religion.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I am a nurse by profession.  I feel more of a desire to care for people spiritually now than just physically.  I feel very sad for people who do not know how wonderful God is and how much LOVE there is.  I feel very close to God now and never feel condemned or convicted or shame.  I feel if I do all things in love, that's all that is needed.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No response           

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     but I become discouraged because there are no words in language to describe it. I am unable to convey an understanding Whenever I share it. I get discouraged like I am not doing the experience justice.  It was just too wonderful and putting it in words seems like I am minimizing or treating something profound and holy with an injustice of mere words.  I just wish EVERYONE could know what it is like.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Complete profound Joy, Love, Acceptance, Forgiveness, A Knowing or Awareness.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was experiencing the Love that came from God that was completely unconditional.  The absolute worst is EVERY, EVERY, day I long to be in that love again.  Life here even on the best day is NOTHING compared and my spirit so longs to go HOME.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        no

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No       I develop an aversion to medications, alcohol or substances of any sort. I don't really know why.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               No       No of course not.  There are not English words capable of expressing these things.