Chapter Three

A lesson From God

It�s all good, don�t worry. 

I was working as a Financial Advisor for a firm located in downtown Syracuse, New York.  I did not particularly like my job but the money was good and I was the sole supporter of my second child.  It was around five o�clock and I had left work after having a really bad day and was in my car stuck in traffic under the 81 overpass trying to get up onto the ramp that led to home.   

I don�t remember what I was thinking about but I was still battling a lingering depression left over from the birth of my second son.  The post-partum depression that had followed his birth had been severe and even though it had happened a few years earlier it had an effect on me I couldn�t shake.  In addition there were some health issues I was dealing with and on this particular day I�d had enough of life in general and gave in to the depression and was crying.  

All of a sudden while I was sitting wedged between cars under the overpass in front of Upstate Medical Center in crazy downtown traffic I found myself in a really peaceful place.  Where ever I was it was blissful and my entire consciousness had changed.  In the blink of an eye I went from depression to bliss with no transition period.  I was shown that everything in my life was perfect and everything that had ever happened in my life was perfect and I would not change one tiny little piece of it.  A feeling of complete joy came over me while I was experiencing this amazing gift.  There was no trace of depression that had been consuming me just minutes before.  The way I was feeling in that moment was the way I wanted to feel forever.  It felt natural to me and I know that this way of being is available to us at all times.  Bliss and joy that not only permeated every part of me seemed to be what the whole universe felt like.  It seemed like this state of consciousness was the real deal and what we experience every day and get so caught up in is not.   Like all of these experiences you never want it to go away.  You want to exist right where you are forever.   Of all the experiences I have had of this nature this one lasted the longest.  It lasted from under that overpass up onto the ramp leading to interstate 81 and all the way to the Brighten Ave exit where I get off to go home.  One of the amazing things that happen during these shifts in consciousness is that everything including you disappears or falls away.  Just this heightened state of consciousness remains.  So who is driving the car?  Who cares. 

As usual with these experiences you slowly and gently start to shift out of that reality and come back to where you were before it happened physically and mentally.  There is an afterglow which is part of the coming back process where you feel so good and you keep thinking you don�t want it to go away but thinking only speeds it up.   You�re back in your head, back in your body, back in your car driving down the road.  You�re back and you don�t want to be because where you were feels like where you should be.  You feel fabulous and you know and feel the perfection of life and the afterglow that immediate follows the experience gives you time to process what you just experienced and you never forget it because you know it is part of the truth of being.  

An important part of this lesson was it meant everything I had experienced in my life including the death of my mother and the sensational trial that followed was perfect.  It meant that I accepted the time spent at my father�s house and the abuse I suffered because of him.  I wouldn�t change the death of my first child or living with two abusive men or the horrific depression that followed the birth of my second son where I was so depressed I thought I was going to go crazy. There was not one little thing that had happened in my life I would have changed and while I was experiencing this I was filled with such joy and knowing that everything was as it should be.  It was not something reserved for only me it was a universal experience.   I wasn�t thinking this I knew and felt this.  My entire being was immersed in this feeling of the perfection of my life and I remember experiencing a big smile on my face.  As always, I didn�t want to come back from wherever I was. 

This lesson has helped me so many times in my life.  When I get depressed or things are going horribly wrong, I think back to this experience and know that on some level everything is ok and on some level I wouldn�t change the experience one bit.   

I am not a murderer, thief, or someone who created genocides or ruled countries and subjected people to oppression and cruelty.  I don�t know if these people have the same experiences I do.  But, I just want to say this carefully and I will readily admit I don�t know if what I am about to say is truth, but when I have these experiences it does not feel selective.  It feels like this is the way it is and nobody is left out.  It is definitely a different kind of reality than the one I live in every day.   

It doesn�t seem like we can get it wrong.  What I mean is that it seems we all have choice available to us and no matter what we choose, what path we take, we can�t make a wrong decision.  Somewhere, somehow, our own choices and our own paths we take that turn into our lives are not subject to error but instead form the perfection of who we are.   

from my book I self-published

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No  

Was the experience difficult to express in words?....Yes....Of course.  How could I possibly explain God in human words. And to answer the NEXT question (6)THERE IS NO THINKING. It is as if you ARE everything.  You don't hear of see etc. you ARE it so you KNOW it. Question (7)there are no senses there you don't need them.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?....More consciousness and alertness than normal    the entire time....I am in a different state of consciousness and it feels as though I am part of the whole of the universe.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.    see story above 

no senses

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.    no senses

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?    No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?....love, joy, peace, comfortable, a sense of being part of an amazing whole,holy  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?....No....remember they are not a NDE

Did you see an unearthly light?....No....just the space I am in is unearthly.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?....No   

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?....No    we're not dead, ever.

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?....No....I was aware of my entire life

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?....A clearly mystical or unearthly realm....When I have a God moment everything disappears except my consciousness.  If I am driving when it happens everything still disappears except for my consciousness.  When I say everything disappears that means even me.  The only thing left of me is my consciousness there is no body where I am. And where I am is awesome and that word does not even describe it.  For you I will try to describe it and this will be the hardest part of this book but I will give it my best shot.  But even with my best shot I am nowhere near relating where I am and what I am to you. When you are experiencing another reality it is difficult to use words from this reality to express certain aspects from there not present here or maybe are present here but I am not tuned in to. Firstly, this reality completely disappears. The trees, the horse I am walking, the ground I am standing on, the car I am driving-everything. Where I am or where my consciousness is feels like the real reality and it feels like my real home.  It feels comfortable, familiar, timeless, all knowing, peaceful, scintillating, and rich in experience like something only GOD consciousness could be. It feels like I am part of everything. I can�t say like some people do that it feels nurturing because there is nothing in me that needs to be nurtured when I am in this state of consciousness. It is always good, always helpful and therefore I KNOW without any doubt whatsoever God is always aware of my needs and ready to help when the time is right. When I have one of these experiences I never, ever, want to come back.  And one small important thing�I know for sure now I am really not my body!

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?....No....time did not exist

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?....No....understood what I was being shown as each experience the same message was presented in a different way.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?....No....

Did you come to a border or point of no return?....No....

Did scenes from the future come to you?....No....

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?....Yes....see above

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:....Large changes in my life....I see and experience everything entirely different than most people I know.  I no longer fear death and though my life is difficult at times these experiences are like nuggets of wisdom I can revisit and I know I am safe from everything not matter what it is because I am spirit and this earthly life holds no power in the face of the reality that is real.  I would like to add here that you say afterlife.  It is not afterlife.  It is here right now and happening right now we are just not conscious of it.....

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?    Yes     Everything.  I am a different person.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?....Uncertain     I have other experiences while I am in body and aware that are other worldly.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes  

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?....Yes    

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:....Experience was definitely real    that's where my real home is and that is who I really am.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:....Experience was definitely real....

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?....Yes....I am kinder, more compassionate, more loving etc.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?....No   

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?....Yes    They keep happening.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes    As well as one can describe the indescribable.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     I am always safe even if I were being killed because I really as we all are not really of this world.  I am loved. I can't make a wrong decision.  And don't ever let anyone tell you you made mistakes in your life.  It's not true.  It's all perfectly perfect.