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Melody H's Experience

Experience description:   

In 2002 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  While my doctor said that the lump was extremely small and probably a “carcinoma in situ”—meaning the abnormal cells were only in one place—still the prospect of facing cancer in any circumstances is daunting.  I told my husband that evening and went to bed, not fearful but definitely concerned and somewhat apprehensive.  As was my practice I prayed before going to sleep.  My prayer was simple and direct without formality: “God, are we OK?  Do we have the right relationship?  Have I misunderstood and messed anything up?”  I went to sleep and during the night had two very powerful, intense dreams or visions that included messages. 

In the first I was standing on a stone patio or veranda, and I was facing away from a stone house.  At one point there were Spanish arches along the outward edge of the veranda and there was a beautiful brilliant, glowing light filling the space beyond.  The light had strips of white, silver, and pale yellow radiating outward from a center point.  I was drawn to the light and went toward it.  I was then standing on the curb of the veranda, the outermost edge, with the light flooding over and through me.  I knew that the light was God and heaven, and He let me stand there and experience the light and be filled with it.  I felt complete, unconditional love and acceptance, peace and wholeness.  The experience was overwhelming and euphoric, the extreme of spiritual bliss.  I don’t have the words to express the feeling or explain the intensity.  The light was so wonderful that impulsively I expressed the thought, “I’ll just go right now.”  In other words, I’ll save us both the trouble of life and death and go to heaven immediately.  I was even aware of making the first motion of stepping off the curb and directly into the light when I was told, “No, not now.”  It wasn’t said in words but in an instantaneous commanding thought.  The dream/vision ended there. 

I began waking up and was in that state where you’re aware but you haven’t opened your eyes yet.  I remembered the dream and understood the meaning.  The stone house was life, the veranda was between life and heaven, the light was God and heaven.  My future was heaven.  I was going to heaven whenever it was my time to go. 

Instead of waking up completely, I sank back into deep sleep.  In my second dream I was standing on the veranda again, but this time the veranda was larger.  With me there were a lot of people extending back into the light.  I immediately understood that some of the people were Christ’s disciples and we were having a party.  Everyone was talking together and enjoying each other’s company.  I was standing with a disciple, talking to him.  We were near the house with others crowded around on three sides, but none directly between us and the house.  I was angled more or less with my back toward the house. I was aware of being myself, of having my distinct human personality.  I was doing most of the talking.  I was shorter than he, had a smile on my face, and was gesturing with my hands, trying to make a point.  He was being very patient but didn’t have a chance to speak.  At one point I glanced over his shoulder and saw a female on the other side of the veranda but closer to the light.  She seemed to glow, had blonde hair, was all in white, and was standing alone.  I was drawn to her and wanted to meet her, but I continued my one sided discussion with the disciple.  I was so focused on making my point that I didn’t notice that something important was taking place on another part of the veranda.   Everyone else had stopped talking.  They had turned toward the door of the stone house and were looking at the person about to come out.  My disciple, who had been looking at me and listening, raised his head and then focused on the door.  He had a stern, concerned look on his face.  Typical of me, I was two ticks behind everyone else.  I stopped talking, half embarrassed, and quickly faced the door to catch up with events.  A Roman soldier was coming out, and he was on a mission.  He had the gold breastplate, helmet with stiff red “Mohawk” on top, and I think he had a sword in his right hand.  Coming from the back of the party, out of the light, was Jesus.  He was advancing directly towards the soldier.  Jesus was intent on meeting with him.  The soldier got halfway out the door and Jesus was nearly at our position near the house when the dream suddenly stopped.  Jesus and the soldier never met in the dream. 

This time after the dream I woke up completely.  Unlike the first dream, it took a second for this dream’s message to come to my brain, but it was that I was going to be with Jesus when I went to heaven.  I was a member of his group. 

There was no direct message concerning the female in glowing white.  However, it is my theory that she may be the soul of the fetus my mother aborted (naturally lost) several years after giving birth to me. 

As I sat up in bed that morning, marveling at the experiences in my dreams, my response was a verbal “WOW!” over and over again, “WOW!”   I usually don’t remember my dreams, and when I do the images are often muddled and confusing with no messages.  These two dreams were powerful, intense experiences with clear messages.  I had no doubt that God had answered my questions.  We were OK. 

I didn’t tell of my dreams or messages for the longest time.  They were too personal and private and maybe sacred.  I did several years later tell my mother during a private moment about maybe seeing in a dream the child she had lost.  The concept that the child’s soul was with God and that I might have witnessed that pleased her. 

At the time of my dreams I did not know of the phrase “near-death experience” or that studies and compilations of such were being done.  I was aware from television shows that people going through a death-like experience had had impressions of being in dark tunnels and moving towards a light.  That image seems to be part of our culture now.  I think the phrase “go towards the light” has been used in a comedy routine and in shows that I have seen on television. 

In 2010, I was thrilled to read "Evidence of the Afterlife" by Dr. Long because many of the images and feelings he recorded were like the images and feelings in my first dream.  I have since read Moody’s earlier publications.  I especially appreciated Moody’s comment that he was aware that near-death-like experiences had occurred without there being a medical trauma or clinical death.  That seems to be where mine fit.  I wasn’t near death, there was no medical trauma, and I wasn’t on medication (other than my standard antihistamine and decongestant).  Other than my concern over the cancer diagnosis, it was a normal day and a normal sleep. 

These two dreams have changed my spiritual life.  They have made me more secure in my faith, a little more sensitive to others, and happier in a way.  I feel blessed to have had these dreams, and I still find myself marveling that God would answer my basic question with such detail and give me understanding of the dreams’ meanings.  I still find myself at times inwardly repeating “WOW!” in gratitude.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   Uncertain  I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I was told lump was very small.  I was concerned but not anxious.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes     There are no words to express the intensity, the fulfillment, the acceptance, and completeness.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    I was aware of being myself throughout the experience, but the most intense period was when I was standing on the edge of the veranda and the light and love were flowing over and through me.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?      More consciousness and alertness than normal   I was aware of being myself throughout the experience, but the most intense period was when I was standing on the edge of the veranda and the light and love were flowing over and through me.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   There are no words to express the intensity, the fulfillment, the acceptance, and completeness.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.   Except for the feelings while standing in the light, my vision and hearing and the other senses seemed normal throughout.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?   No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?   I felt complete acceptance, unconditional love, a wholeness, euphoria.  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?   No  

Did you see an unearthly light?   Yes   At one point there were Spanish arches along the outward edge of the veranda and there was a beautiful brilliant, glowing light filling the space beyond.  The light had strips of white, silver, and pale yellow radiating outward from a center point.  I was drawn to the light and went toward it.  I was then standing on the curb of the veranda, the outermost edge, with the light flooding over and through me.  I knew that the light was God and heaven, and He let me stand there and experience the light and be filled with it.  I felt complete, unconditional love and acceptance, peace and wholeness.  The experience was overwhelming and euphoric, the extreme of spiritual bliss.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?   I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
The voice spoke to me in telepathy, for lack of a better word.  I understood the concept of the messages immediately.

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?   Yes   Jesus and his disciples and all the other people were clothed on the veranda having a party.  I understood that they were talking, but I wasn't aware of their voices.  I understood that I was speaking, but I wasn't aware of the subject matter or of my words.  I think this image--of Jesus, his disciples and believers enjoying themselves--was the important facet, not the details.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?   Uncertain   I saw from a distance a person that I think may have been my unborn sister.

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?   No  

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?   A clearly mystical or unearthly realm
The veranda, I think, was between physical earth and spiritual heaven.  I was allowed to experience the light flowing over and through me.  That was unlike any experience I have had on earth in this life.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?   No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?   No
I just understood the answers to my question, and that was enough.  I was going to be with God and that means harmony with everything.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?   Yes
I think that the veranda was an in-between place--between earth and heaven.  That is why I was not allowed to step off of it.

Did you come to a border or point of no return?   No
I got the impression that the edge of the veranda was a border.

Did scenes from the future come to you?  No 

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness suggesting that there either is (or is not) continued existence after earthly life (“life after death”)?   Yes   The light was God and heaven, and that is where I am going when I pass on.  Life after death is definite.  God's love and acceptance are definite.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that God or a supreme being either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Definitely yes. The light was God and heaven.  I experienced his love and acceptance.  That understanding was immediately given to me.  There is no way I can doubt or question this understanding. The experience and feelings were that intense and powerful, all consuming, overwhelming.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that you either did (or did not) exist prior to this lifetime?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness that a mystical universal connection or unity/oneness either does (or does not) exist?   Yes   Particularly with my second dream, I got the sense that I would be with Jesus, his group when I passed on.  There was a secondary understanding that there are different groups.

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s meaning or purpose?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding earthly life’s difficulties, challenges, or hardships?   No  

During your experience, did you encounter any specific information / awareness regarding love?   Yes   Yes, God is love.  It's that simple.  He loves his creation, people, all life.

During your experience, did you encounter any other specific information / awareness that you have not shared in other questions that is relevant to living our earthly lives?   No   No, not specifically, but the dreams/visions have made me more tolerant and sensitive to others.  Because God loves, I should as well.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?   Yes   Yes, in a way, I think people often make spiritual faith too complicated.  God is love, and we need to love each other, even those who witness differently or have a different vision of God.  As long as belief in God is expressed in positive, supportive, life-affirming ways, I think differences should be tolerated.

What occurred during your experience included:   Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience   Yes, in a way, I think people often make spiritual faith too complicated.  God is love, and we need to love each other, even those who witness differently or have a different vision of God.  As long as belief in God is expressed in positive, supportive, life-affirming ways, I think differences should be tolerated.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?   I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience   I had my dreams ten years ago. I remember them as vividly as if they happened last night.

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   I feel happier in my spiritual life.  Some of the questions above were hard for me to answer because my spiritual life has changed only in intensity or by degrees.  My dreams/visions proved my blind, somewhat knowledgeable faith which I had before the experience.

My experience directly resulted in:  
Slight changes in my life

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?  
Yes   Yes, in a way, I think people often make spiritual faith too complicated.  God is love, and we need to love each other, even those who witness differently or have a different vision of God.  As long as belief in God is expressed in positive, supportive, life-affirming ways, I think differences should be tolerated.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?   Standing on the edge of the veranda in the light of God's love is still overwhelming to me--and it's been ten years.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?   No  

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?    
Standing on the edge of the veranda in the light of God's love is still overwhelming to me--and it's been ten years.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?  
Yes  I shared part of the first dream with my mother around two years after the experience.  I shared my entire experience with my best friend after reading Dr. Long's book.  She had also read the book.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?   No   I was glad to read both Long's book and Moody's.  I felt like there was a group of people that would understand what I had experienced--even though I had not gone through a near death or traumatic situation.  I felt connected to a community of people with similar experiences.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:   Experience was definitely real   I felt blessed, touched by God's love.  I felt grateful that God would answer my question so directly and personally.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:   Experience was definitely real   Nothing has changed over the years concerning the reality of and messages from my two dreams.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?   Yes   I try to be more tolerant of and patient with people and life in general.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?     No, my religious practices have not changed.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?   No    

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?   Yes   Yes, the unlimited space in which to write about the experience was helpful.

What could a national organization with an interest in near death experience (NDE) do that would be of interest to you?        An organization would allow me to contact others who have had a similar experience, providing they also wish to be contacted.

Please offer any suggestions that you may have to improve this questionnaire.  Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience?                    The questionnaire seems very thorough.