Max W's Experience
I was a young "born-again" newly Christian man happily planning on getting ready to be married in a few weeks. In August of 1973 I entered a severe and very strong spiritual struggle and that is about the only way I can describe it. Something was wrong and I came to the conclusion I really needed God's help to understand this and overcome it. No one around me seemed to be able to help me at all.
I decided to seek God whom I had came to believe in 2 years before for help. One Friday night I went out into the back yard of my moms home and laid down under the stars and began pouring my heart out to God for help - I really did not know how to pray or what to ask for - I did not understand at all what was going on and that drove me to God. I went well into the night laying face down on the grass and exhausted myself in prayer until I fell asleep.
I awoke the next morning and remember the warm sun rising and being surprised at where I was and that I had fallen asleep and been out there asleep on the grass all night. As I got up and went inside I thought maybe if I went to a pastor I knew he could pray with me and help me find the answer to my spiritual dilemma. I cleaned up and drove over to his house in my '56 Chevy. I remember the day so clear. I got out went up to his side door, knocked and he came to the door but only peeked out and mentioned that it was a Saturday and he had a lot of "honey-do's" to complete and could not spend time with me so he said a short lets get this over fast type prayer, a good day and and then disappeared back into the house.
I walked back to my car thinking where do I go now. I opened the drivers side door, slid in behind the wheel, closed the door then and amazing thing occurred.
The best I can describe the event was a "light" - a spiritual light - came from above me it illumined my spirit and then flooded into my mind so my mind understood what my spirit was seeing and experiencing. Immediately I realized I was in the presence of God - my Creator.
I use the word "he, him, etc" for my emotional appreciation and ease of communication but that was never stated or even implied by this Supreme Spiritual Creator being to me. Rather he was Light, Love and Spirit and all with capital letters for his uniqueness and for lack of any better words to describe him. I sensed his wholeness, completeness, he was completely one as opposed to my being of parts i.e. spirit, mind and body. He did not have a physical form like me. He did not think or decide I will love someone with a mind and body, he is LOVE, endless love - his spiritual being endlessness startled me when he drew me closer towards him and my spirit being briefly seemed to touch him I became afraid - not of anything at all that he did or felt towards me for I only saw and felt this beings wonderful love but for some reason when I touched and realized his endlessness next to my finiteness I was briefly afraid - I was so different than him. He knew that and moved on to answer my prayer and show me what he wanted me to know.
I feel I should share the overall experience of meeting this being as it may be of help to some seeking answerers to find peace and hope and it certainly must be one of the reasons why I was allowed to see him and speak about it .
Everything in this experience was revealed in light, direct spiritual thought and images. No audible words were spoken. I just knew and understood.
He is revealing LIGHT - as soon as I entered his presence I saw myself completely as he saw me - in my humanity and weakness yet with no sense of judgment or condemnation coming from him at all - just pure LOVE.
He is pure LOVE - this earthly English word and the typical images it pulls up from my memories does little to convey the depth and endless spiritual power of the LOVE this being is, exudes and lives in.
He is endless SPIRIT - he does not have a body or form like we do rather a spiritual presence in one place yet an endless being occupying all time and space as one being.
Heaven is above. It is another spiritual "dimension" (for lack of a better word) yet not far far away - he is always, just above me and looking over me and just a hand reach and prayer away.
He is in all time - he is the same being in all time. He specifically showed me this. I asked myself later why did he take that moment to show me that he was the same in all time past i.e. LOVE and I came to realize that I had bought into the "angry god of the old testament" and really feared him more than loved and appreciated him for whom he is and he wanted me to understand that image of God that I had been taught was not him. Later this freed me to walk on in spiritual life and learn to seek to love him and turn away from human religions that use fear to try and manipulate and control those seeking him.
Next, he specifically answered my prayer about my spiritual struggle.
He turned his attention and mine to his right side and said sit at the feet of my Son and learn. That was the first I was aware of another being present. This being had form and appearance as a man like me yet fully spiritual in his nature and so much different then a mere man. I was also instantly aware that he possessed all power and authority in the universe and yet was in complete pure LOVE and ONENESS with his FATHER - my Creator God - their LOVE for each other was so deep and real - I do not have words to communicate it well. They live in this endless LOVE together.
I then was shown a large flat area in front of me and directly under the Son. I could and had run and played all around within this area much like a toddler in a playpen. I understood that this was built by God for me and intended to protect me and not to confine me - it was designed for my safety and protection - however in my eagerness and new found spiritual condition I had been running all around like a little toddler and way out to the sides and "banging my head" on the walls that were designed to protect me - keep me in the safe area - and not to harm or hurt me.
The meaning was clear - stop running out to the and sit at the feet of his Son and be safe and learn.
The practical application of this in my life took some time to work out in my life. I had been visiting and trying to participate in numerous types of churches while trying in vain to find my place in this new faith and "born-again" spiritual life that I had been freely given by God 2 years before. However, I had repeatedly experienced incredible religious rejections, judgments, bizarre religious behaviors and even occasional demonic (or some other evil being) manifestations pretending to be "of the light" within these groups. It had become greatly confusing and troubling to my spirit and mind.
I could and should go direct to God and his Son. I belonged to them. I was a "toddler" son in the family. Later, I found this to be clearly stated in the scriptures and exampled by Jesus too.
The Father had instructed me to move closer to and directly under the authority of his Son (the visual thought image was like an umbrella of protective spiritual power coming out from him and then covering over me). The Son instructed me to "leave them alone" and "do not go around them". I sensed no judgment towards them or me or even a singling me out as someone special only his supreme authority and love and concern that I understand and avoid the trouble.
This was the "spiritual" problem. I had naively assumed everything and every one in church authority that claimed to come in His name and had degrees, preaching skills, doctrinal or spiritual power in a "church" might or must be from him. The answer was clear now - it was just not that way.
The revelation ended here and I was consciously back sitting in my '56 Chevy with a clear mind and healthy body. I started the car and drove off absolutely shook to the core of my being - for so much of what I thought I had understood I had not understood much of anything as it really is and will be.
I was given several lifetime awareness's from this experience that grow within me as I grow older . . .
Up to now I was so young in this new faith and even in the years following that I found it hard to imagine some churches of the Christian flavors could possibly be not really that pleasing to the god they claim to teach men of - I struggled with this and the need to "belong" for several years but the revelation and the path god put me on has strengthened me to understand and discern the difference. In the final analysis all who know him will learn to love as he loves.
That my creator God is LOVE - so all things, religions, teachings, spiritual power sources, beings, doctrines, truth, wisdom that are not loving are not like him and so can not be from him.
That my creator God is LIGHT - that when I appear before Him on that day when I leave this body I will again see my self and all the universe will see me as I really am - I pray I have grown in His LOVE and LIGHT within me and I find a place - a home to live with Him forever in his LOVE - so I seek to learn to grow and learn and receive from Him his power and uncreated spiritual life within me - to become more and more like him.
That I can rely and put my complete trust in his SON.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes I find our earthly words about God and their subsequent religious doctrinal meanings and expressions are often inaccurate to even misleading because without first hand experience we can only imagine what these terms and words may mean, we generally see images in our mind based on our own earthly experiences, cultural bias and groups teachings.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? throughout the whole experience - it is so vivid and real it remains with me 36 years later.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: throughout the whole experience - it is so vivid and real it remains with me 36 years later
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes I was completely unaware of the physical world around me (my body), the car I was sitting in and the amount of time that took place during this experience.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
No I do not recall any audible sounds or voices - it was all spiritual thought i.e. I understood instantly and communication was spiritual mind (for lack of a better way to explain it - thought to thought) and images.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes, in that the experience left behind any consciousness of my physical body and the car that I was sitting in at the time
What emotions did you feel during the experience? all in all I felt little if any strong emotion before, during or after. I did experience brief moments of awe, shock, fear, and I was stunned by the experience as it was a sunny Saturday morning and I was wide awake and clear minded when this occurred. No drugs, alcohol, sicknesses.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? No
Did you see a light? Yes
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes A being I instantly understood to be the Creator and His Son seated at his right side
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? Uncertain - Not a full review but a definitive answer to specific issues and actions in my life that had created a spiritual dilemma and I was given instructions on how to resolve that. The experience provided me with several spiritual life lessons or insights that have helped me repeatedly over the last 36 years.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes Heaven as another dimension and real place right above me and not far far away. God is endless. His being extends to all time and space. He is the same in all time and space. The best I could try to describe what I was shown is that time is something we experience linear but that God inhabits it all at the same time as the same being.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes I experienced a moment with God when he was (is- for it was as if in the present for me) in all time past. The extension of this awareness is he that he is also in all time future. I have realized much personal peace and profound awe that in probable reality for him I am already in eternity with him while for me I am still experiencing being in time. So he must see and know me in time to come (eternity) already as the being I someday will become i.e. spiritually completed and with him in LOVE.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes God is revealing LIGHT - as soon as I entered his presence I saw myself completely as he saw me - in my humanity and weakness yet with no sense of judgment or condemnation coming from him - rather pure LOVE.
God is pure LOVE - unfortunately this earthly English word does little to convey the depth and endless spiritual power of the LOVE this being is, exudes and lives in
God is endless SPIRIT - he does not have a body or form like we do rather a spiritual presence yet an endless being occupying all time and space in one place and yet one being - my mind can not extend and understand this in logic and my human experience. I can only relate what I experienced in meeting him .
Heaven is above. It is another spiritual "dimension" (for lack of a better word) yet not far far away - he is always looking over me and just a hand reach and prayer away.
God occupies all time - he is the same being in all time. He specifically showed me this. I asked myself later why did he take that moment to show me that he was the same in all time past i.e. LOVE and I came to realize that I had bought into the "angry god of the old testament" and really feared him more than loved and appreciated him for whom he is and he wanted me to understand that image was not him.
God specifically answered my prayer about my spiritual struggle and instructed me on how to resolve it.
Their is a being at God the creators right side whom he calls his Son. This being has form like a man - like me - yet is spiritual and beyond the authority, power and spiritual presence of any mere man.
That they LOVE each other and me beyond what I can describe in words or images
and that LOVE is the most important spiritual "being" quality I should seek and
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I was shown a large flat area in front of me and directly under the Son. I could and had run and played all around within this area much like a toddler in a playpen. It was clear that it was built by God and intended to protect me and not confine me - however in my eagerness and new found spiritual condition I had been running all around and way out to the sides and "banging my head" on the walls that were designed to protect me and not to harm or hurt me.
Did you become aware of future events? No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Uncertain It clearly defined for me the difference between my spirit and my human mind. I became more aware of how to discern spiritual sources and what is just religious vs. what is really from God.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes However, it was over 20 years before I shared it with anyone. I then shared it with a Christian friend. He honestly could not handle it and never discussed it again with me as I am just an ordinary working guy - no monk guru or saint here.
I never felt a compulsion to speak of it until recently (about 30 years after) - the experience was originally directed to me and my situation in loving answer to my call to god for help.
I do feel a strong urge now with what is going on in the world today that I should speak up about who I saw and the LOVE nature of our creator God and his Son. People may need to know and be aware that if they believe by hating and killing people in gods name that they are pleasing him they may be absolutely shocked someday to find they have entered the presence of their creator in a state of being so foreign to his nature that they could find themselves in quite a dilemma.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was definitely real. I entered and left the experience awake and clear minded. I never doubted it's reality rather I was shook to the core of my being by it.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? I outlined them in the content section.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was definitely real It took me a few years to wrap my mind around the uniqueness and profound meaning this had for all areas of my life both now and after I leave this body. My faith is not blind or just religious superstitious hope as I have seen our Father God Creator and his Son and apparently I am called to share what I was shown to those who want to listen.
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes It drew me to learn to love better. I really did not know how to do this well on earth in my body and I certainly never would have known what his LOVE was like so It set me on a course to learn to grow and do this better. It has not been easy. I would not say everybody appreciates me, my experience or that everything turned out wonderful in all my relationships but I am growing and learning.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes oh yes, I seldom regularly attend an organized religious church. It is extremely difficult now as I now can sense clearly whether gods LOVE is really present or if what is going on is human ambitions, intellect, emotion or something worse.
I focus more on learning who Jesus was while he was on this earth, how he lived, loved, his teachings, miracles, appearances after his resurrection to try and learn more of how I should really live this life and follow him. Faith is more real and in a living person not just a doctrine or creed. I really do not care what "religious" label one wears as long as they want to know God and learn to love as he does. I realize that even at our best on this earth we are just "babbling babes" in this ancient universe he created all around us.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No I am drug and substance free. I do not even take a Tylenol or aspirin unless I am in extreme discomfort. I prefer a clear mind and spirit.
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? none
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes since my experience was not NDE the questions were a little off focus occasionally but that is to be expected as I submitted content out of your normal scope yet I was struck by the similarity my wide awake daytime experience had with many NDE's.