Max B's Experience
I believe that I was around 11 or 12 at the time, and awoke in the early hours of one morning from an intense dream-like experience, sobbing and face wet with tears. I don’t believe this was an NDE, as there is nothing to suggest that I was in any danger at the time, rather it was perhaps more like some type of transcendental experience.
This is what I remember…
I was in the shadows, at the back of a large balcony hewn from what looked like hard black granite. I was dressed in a dark one piece plain robe which almost touched the floor, a large hood hung down my back. About fifteen feet in front of me stood a row of perhaps 9 figures, backs to me, looking out from the balcony. Each was dressed in the same manner as I was, although each had their hood pulled up. A space had been left between two of the figures on the left hand side. I knew instinctively that this space had been left for me.
As I walked from the shadows at the rear of the balcony, I become aware of a growing sense of joy permeating me from all around, joy from the ‘others’, joy that I had returned. I felt some guilt about the life I had lead on earth, yet it was made clear to me that I was not merely forgiven, that all that had happened during my life on earth was simply unimportant, all that mattered was my return.
As I continued to move forward to take my place, I began to pull up my hood, the feeling of total and unconditional love continued to grow, I felt humbled, was sobbing with the relief, bursting with joy that I was home, and with the knowledge that I was ‘so’ loved. I felt overwhelmed with the joy they were feeling at my return.
Finally I reached the balcony edge and took my place amongst them, to be greeted by an amazing scene. This was not just one balcony, there were thousands, millions arrayed above me, and below me, stretching away to my right and my left. Each identical to the balcony where I stood, and containing the same number of figures in identical robes with hoods pulled up. Opposite my balcony, separated by perhaps 20 meters of void, was another wall of balconies, equal and directly opposite my own, like a mirror image. The balconies on each wall extended further out as you looked downwards, yet the distance between each of the walls, never got any less. i.e. the walls of balconies sloped inwards, yet they never met. I understood that they went on for infinity in every direction.
The void between them was filled with light, yet it was unclear where it came from, although it was brighter above and to my right, further away wisps of cloud or mist floated, until at the extreme range of my vision, the walls disappeared into the mist.
At this point I slowly became aware of the music, unlike any music I have heard before, powerful and emotional it seemed to emanate from the brighter area in the mists above me, I could feel this music blowing through me, ripping away the last shreds of my existence on earth, catching me up in the music, joining me together with the others.
By now, the sense of
joy at my return, that came from them all, everyone of them, was overwhelming,
they were so genuinely overjoyed to have me back, so full of love for me on my
return. I knew then my purpose (although I cannot tell you what it was). I also
knew that I would stand on that balcony forever, as one with them all, at peace.
Wrapped in, and pierced through with love, one with the music. Time had a
different meaning here.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes It's not possible to communicate properly the overwhelming sense of love to those who have never experienced such an event themselves. It was impossible to describe the power and emotional content of the music.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Towards the end of the experience when I became aware of my purpose.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain: Towards the end of the experience when I became aware of my purpose.
Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Uncertain The quality of the dream differed from my normal dreams, the detail and texture experienced was impressive and different.
Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)? Yes I heard music that could not be heard here on earth.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Overwhelming unconditional love, joy at my return, my previous life simply did not matter.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Uncertain
Did you see a light? Yes
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? Uncertain I know my previous life events came up, because at one point (as described above) I felt guilty/ashamed/embarrassed about them, but it was so quick I can't remember any images. Immediately I was told/reassured (without anyone speaking to me), that I was not merely forgiven, but that all of my past life events were simply unimportant/irrelevant. *All* that mattered was my return.
I have carried the
experience with me the whole of my life, I still dwell on its significance.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes As described above.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes As described above...
the facing walls
covered with balconies were infinate, sloped towards each other, yet never met.
Time was different, I would happily stand there forever.
Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Uncertain I believe that I became aware of my purpose during the experience, but, like the music I experienced, it is not possible to recall it.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you become aware of future events? No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience? Yes I had what I believe to be a 'telepathic' experience (although some people might call it an OBE, I believe they are mistaken.)
My father had purchased a terraced house on the other side of town, with the intention of setting up an Accountancy practice, the council had refused planning permission for an office in that area, so the house had been left empty whilst he appealed.
I would be aged around 12, and was going through puberty at the time. I woke up in the early hours of the morning in terror, after having what seemed like a nightmare, but the content of which had a noticeably different/unusual quality.
I had dreamt I was on the street at night, at the back of this property, the green wooden paneled gate off the street was unfastened, opening and banging shut again, and again, in the wind. I approached the gate and pushed it open, the peeling paint and grain of the timber is shown in incredible detail. I can't however see my hand, or any part of my body. As the gate swings open revealing a small back yard, I notice that the kitchen door has been pushed completely open, just leaving a dark rectangular hole in the wall. The top opening pane of the small kitchen window is broken, and partly open. As I move towards the dark door opening, fear starts to build in me, as I reach the threshold the fear becomes incredible, and as I cross the threshold I wake up in terror.
The next morning I still recall the dream in detail, and I do something unusual – I act on the dream (I have never acted on a dream before or since this event). I immediately go downstairs and tell dad about the dream whilst he's having his breakfast, I explain it's unusual quality, and make clear that I believe that something has happened to the property and also pester him to drive over to it immediately.
Dad finishes breakfast, and together with myself and my two elder brothers, we drive over to the house. We pull up round the back, opposite the green gate, which is blowing open and shut in the wind, both my brothers turn to look at me in the car, and pull ‘spooky' faces. We leave the car and enter the gate, to find the kitchen door wide open, and pushed back against the wall, and the top pane of the kitchen window broken and slightly open. We enter the house to find water gushing through the ceiling. And the beginnings of mould on the carpet, it's clear the house was broken into some days before, and the thieves have been returning to remove fixtures and fitting and lead piping over a period of time.
Strangely I notice a slight bump on the stair carpet, and put my hand underneath the carpet to find a hacksaw, which has been hidden by the thieves. We secured the house and turned off the water, and dad refused to talk about the incident ever again, my two brothers found the whole affair creepy and unsettling and recall the incident to this day.
I have thought deeply
about the incident for the whole of my life, and drawn the best conclusions I
can to explain the incident. I have never had any other unusual event of this
type happen in my life since. Neither can I accept that the dream was simply a
highly unusual co-incidence.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes As described, I shared it at the time, the accuracy was verified by three witnesses.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I don't believe I did, but I was only 11-12.
How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened: Experience was probably real
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you? Unconditional love; a purpose; and that this life is unimportant, all that matters is your return.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was probably real
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain I was too young to be able to compare relationships then, with relationships now.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? no
Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes