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Matt W's Experience

Experience description:   

The Dream 

        The dream, and what followed, seemed to come in answer to a constant wish and desire to know something of the universe beyond the nonsense ideas I heard of in school.

    Though the original dream was vivid, memorable, and tremendously inspiring, it began a process of making attempts to express something for which there was no accurate expression.  From there, this process evolved to include ideas inspired by the original experience, thoughts related to books and research information in cosmology, and new dreams and images, and so forth.

    This is a personal process related to larger and more complex systems of myth and philosophy, but for the purposes of this book, I shall remain close to the domain in which I am most familiar, my own experience.  This is a journey through my own journals, art works, writing, and memory.  It is partly a tracing back of my own process of myth making attempting to reveal that which inspired one piece of art in particular, my 336 square foot oil on canvas, 13 piece, 24-foot tall triangle of paintings entitled, “Krallosvierd”. 

        In my life, I have had a few defining moments which have inspired the contents of my daily thoughts and life long dreams.  Though the originating event is beyond words or accurate description, this process described above, this making of myth, has been in play in my life consuming thousands of hours of dreaming, sketching, painting, writing, reading, researching, studies and it is finally all culminating in the telling of this story.


The Dream   

   In no time, once floating above the house then hovering in space seeing the Earth below.  The darkened Earth sat below with a bright crescent glowing in the sunlight, with little diamond clusters sprinkled about in the shadows.

   Floating above the Earth, with a glowing presence at my side, or was it a reflection, but a reflection of what?  There was nothing there, I did not even have a body at all, and the view was in every direction now.  The Earth below, the moon, the stars, the sun in view all at once. 

   The sun was suddenly smaller, and the Earth gone.  No feeling of movement at all, no body to feel velocity, and no wind to whip in my ears, if I had any.  The movement grew faster.  Stars dimmed and nebulae grew.  Galaxies beyond counting became the field of stars, and stars themselves gone away.

   Clusters and blobs of galaxies grew more distant, now growing fainter and fainter as I moved.  In one direction, the field of dimming dots.  In the other, nothing at all, only darkness never imagined.  The field of dots becomes a wall, no a sphere now, resolving into the shape of a sphere.  In the direction that was nothingness, now a wall of dim solid light, fuzzy, full of colors.

    The direction from which I came now held a glowing sphere.  Though it was of countless galaxies and stars, at this distance and from this view they all blended together.  The backdrop of this sphere was aglow with yet another, much larger sphere, fuzzy around the edges then surrounded by the black nothingness.  The bright sphere was dwarfed against its glowing background, now clearly round, with marks in it like sunspots and swirls and other glowing spheres in the distance.

    As the glowing sphere grew smaller, and even it’s background sphere grew smaller at this distance, the other direction became much more clearly solid, like a wall of dim light.

    Suddenly, flying into the wall of light, buried in light, nothing but light, becoming more and more dense, even solid.  Then instantly changing direction, the process moves in reverse.  Out from the light, into the darkness, moving toward the sphere.  Dots become blobs and walls.  Blobs become masses of galaxies.  Galaxies become masses of stars.  One galaxy, a crooked broken one somehow feeling familiar, grows larger and larger, until the stars reach out enveloping.

    Now in the wonderful, familiar canopy of stars of home, one star grows larger, I know it is home.  Closer, it becomes as large as the morning sun, and then there is Earth with a bright blue sliver of light on the left side of the dark globe.  Growing. 

    Suddenly, I am in bed.  In no time, I dreamed the cosmos was my back yard.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No      

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes    

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Deep asleep

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes     At first seated in chair with glowing body next to me, then just leaving with

360 degree view unlimited by time or velocity...just vision unlimited moving.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            None, just maybe awe or full attention...no blinking....no "eyes".

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No...silence.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?            Yes     Earth, planets, Sun, galaxy, clusters, all feeling like the larger version of "home".

Did you see a light?           Yes     Lots of light, and dynamic dark, almost like I'd say I was moving at the speed of dark...some other form of the universe or element or nature...the other part we don't see or something like that.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     I named the light body next to me "The Zoid"...just what came to mind...and I later figured maybe this was just my own personal 'light body'. To this day my auto license plate reads ZOIDZ and the plates have been on every car I've owned.  Zoid is a part of my life.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No      

Later on in life I did this, yes.  Monroe Institute Remote Viewing exercise.  Listening to music and "floating above the house". When I was little I flew around the neighborhood in dreams, but never very far.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          No      

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?          Yes     Time and space were irrelevant.  Velocity was irrelevant.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes     I was being shown the large scale structure of The Universe.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Yes     At the farthest reaches of "the trip" there was a wall or sphere edge I could not move through and I reversed direction then and followed the same path back.

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes     Could see where our local Universe came from and where it is going.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Yes     It was part of the bargain or deal with The Zoid...to bounce back like a YoYo.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes     Sometimes can see what is going to happen...often not.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     Everything.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       Life has been a jumble of changes and shifting around avoiding being the person who had "the dream" sort of hiding from it until now.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes     Totally.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Only one person knows the whole thing but I've just published it all on a website so others may know later.  In general over the years the more I've mentioned it the stranger I was seen...so I just avoided it.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Awe and wonder.  Passion to do more and paint and explain and describe.  Fear and confusion.  Doubt and denial.  Waiting.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Best = Having my deepest desire answered beyond my wildest (previous) dreams.

Worst = Feeling alone and odd and crazy, even to me.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        Now at age 58 with 2012 coming soon it's time for me to tell all and put it out there in the world.  I've finally realized that the harder I try to blend in and just be normal the stranger I seem to others...so it's time to just really be who I am.  Today when I looked at how I live and what I think and dream daily...it's so strange that I go to work as a bus driver everyday letting the real me just be hidden away like this.  How odd...how very very odd.  But, I have survived to tell the tale.  Over the years I've dealt with fears of being burned at the stake or shot, etc., so maybe I was just waiting for the right time to come.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Uncertain      For more information, my general life story outline, and the images produced from the dream, go to my website at krallosvierd.com

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    Why was it only once and would I wish to do it again?

I have wondered about this and sometimes figure that if I knew ahead of time what was going to happen I would not want to go...too scary in logical terms and far too unreal and impossible to think about or really articulate. And I do not think I could repeat it without the innocent depth of desire overruling my natural defenses, etc.

Thank you for the opportunity here.