At this point a strange since of fear came over me. The movie was once again un-paused and once again everyone said the same thing, and I found myself, seemingly without consent of my mind, saying again, that this was borderline d�j� vu.  The same reaction as before took place.  After this repeated, around 3-5 times, I was really worried, and decided to leave, I announced I was leaving and walked outside. 

As soon as I was outside though I in a since was not "me" or my "human form" Things switched to say, the perspective of a computer solving puzzles, each puzzle was a frame, like a frame of a movie, or a picture, each one was solved differently and at different speeds, although I didn't always understand how they were solved. Suddenly there was a feeling of complete happiness bliss understanding and enlightenment, then there was nothing.  By nothing I mean, nothing existed, period. Nothing.  I have no idea how long time wise I stayed in the state of nothing.

Then words started appearing. One word at a time. Slowly at first, then speeding up. The first group of words I recall were, This is a joke about the center of the universe. When these words went by in my "mind" (mind is the only word I can think of to describe.) I felt a since of awe, denial, understanding, and a thirst to know more. The words at this point speed up to the point were it was hard to catch every word but I got the general idea of what was being translated and said. The words were stating the basic laws and rules of the universe. I at this point realized that I was having d�j� vu, to the very beginning of the universe. At that realization there was a "snapback" and I was once again, matt, standing on the front porch of my friends house. Although it felt like a good 3 to 4 hours had passed, I looked at my watch and it had only been about 2 minutes. 

I started walking back to my dorm, while thinking of what I had just "seen" and trying to make since out of it.  There was another "snapback" And I was again back in the words defining the universe, but at a point farter from the start or center of the universe. At this point the words were stating about the end and beginning of the universe, that it goes in a "circle" (NOTE: Circle is merely the word I choose, the actual shape that appeared in my "mind" was much more complex then a circle.)  And that everything and everyone lives as everything and everyone in the course of the universe. The words that described this didn't always make since, and were not always English, but I was able to understand them.

Another Snapback. and I was once again matt, still walking along on the way to my dorm. I had only walked a couple of feet in the time this had happened.  I then realized that as I was walking forward, each step I took, the end of the street did not get any closer to me, like a tunnel, that was expanding as I walked through it.  More d�j� vu.

I was confused and a little frightened, not sure what was going on at all. I began to think of what I had saw, the words, the shape, the fact stated in the words that everything became everything, in a sequence, until the shape completed and started over again at nothing.  I thought to myself, "so at some point I will be water?"  Then I was water.  I felt the sensation of being completely wet, and being a wave crashing on a beach.

Another snapback. I was Matt again, a few more feet down the road.  I transferred many forms before I got back to my dorm. and my excitement grew as I realized, that I had somehow stumbled on something big, and that I had a slight amount of control over where I was in this shape. I could do something easy, transferring to "nonliving" forms for example, was easy. Other things were hard. Like changing my physical location. or my physical person, meaning, I could for brief periods, become someone else. (I tried this with 3/4 people.) Altering the speed of time was very hard and seemed to drain me of much energy. Excitement was a major feeling, I felt like I had broken through some human limit.

I got back to my dorm maybe 15 minutes later, Briefly described what had happened was happening to my roommate. (we later greatly discussed this.)

I Then sat down and began to think about everything.  My attention soon was focused on the shape. I had already recognized that I had a since of control over where I was on this shape, although this control was not completely understood. (still isn't) I tried to zoom out on the shape to see more of it, and had success after a few attempts. There was a limit though. I could only zoom out so far. I tried to find myself on the shape. For this part I must use metaphors and examples to describe.

A ball of several different colored yarns will represent the shape. My yarn was red. Everything and everyone had there own color.  All the yarns were always directly in contact with every other color yarn. These yarns were made of words. One word at a time, and everything was connected. I realized that my self, my human form, was the words of my string, but instead of the one word at a time, like what I had seen earlier, the words were accelerated more to give a human concept of time.  I realized that jumping forms and people, was actually jumping string colors in the ball of yarn. And that I had a profound control of what I was. even though I do not understand how I was controlling it.

I spent much time, experimenting with my control over the shape, that I had come to think of as the universe itself.  I briefly became many people and many things. I wrote a quick paragraph about it in my journal and then went to sleep. The paragraph was there when I woke up. That is how I know this was not a dream.

The next couple of days the visions of the shape and strange changes of perception and consciousness kept occurring, Less and less as time went by.  Then I went home for Thanksgiving break.  Nothing unusual happened over break, but I did discuss the occurrence with many people. I came back to college a week later. For one week more nothing strange occurred.

And then suddenly a quick jerk of d�j� vu, I was watching TV and the screen flicked back much like when a CD skips, the screen played, jerked back and played again. I once again saw the shape in my mind. But this time, I was looking up the shape, from within it. I looked up the shape (when doing this I physically looked out the window.) And the scene outside the window, appeared as a "tunnel" the farthest point being a spec of light, that was the out limit of the shape, or as far as I could zoom out.

I looked down the shape towards the center of it, physically turning my human head 180 degrees looking in the opposite direction, the end of this tunnel was dark, out of instinct and logical deduction from what I had seen before I concluded that this was the "nothing" I had experienced earlier.  I realized that to get to the "light" I had to get out of my color of yarn, and move in the right direction towards it, much like a puzzle. I then thought, I need to go the next step up. To get closer to the light.

At this point things started fluctuating, Back in forth in both emotional feeling and visual perception. The room seemed to go from lighter to darker, I couldn't seem to jump strings, or get to the next step. I figured this was because I didn't have a clear understanding of what the next step was.  Nothing else happened that day. 

A few days later, I had finished all my school work and my thoughts once again turned to the shape.  A group function was about to begin for a club I belonged in. I went to the start of this function. It was a very long night and afterwards I was exhausted but sleep was not an option at this point.  Things began to "slow down" slower and slower.  Until once again, things were going one to three words at a time.  This time the words described "gods" That was not the word shown, but that was the human translation I will use in my description.  It stated many things.

The thing that stood out was that everyone and everything had the potential to be a "god" and that everyone and everything can exercise more control over the universe. In a since everything is "one" and by one we are all part of the shape. As I type this I feel chills and a since of peace in my mind. Then "karma" is described, one word at a time, (I would like to once again stress that some words in these series of words were not any human language and yet I understood them.) The main idea stressed is that since we are all one, are actions that don't directly influence us, do directly influence us. So that we are always creating the universe, and that we can change it and make it a more enjoyable place. The karma thing though didn't quite catch my interests as much as the god thing though.

I was walking to a friends house while all this was occurring.  Its was snowing. Not a little, but a lot. The point where snow somewhat blocks your view of what's ahead. I thought to myself, I am cold. I want the snow to go away. The snowflakes disappeared out of the air. Doubt entered my mind and I thought what? the snow reappeared mid air.  I turned the snow off three times.  Before leaving it off for the rest of the walk. My excitement cannot be described. The thing people read about or see in movies or sci-fi's, I had just done with simply a couple of thoughts. 

I suddenly was looking down on myself (human form) from above. even though I was looking down on myself, I could still see the shape in my minds eye. I had not yet gone up to the next step but I was close. I felt a strange attraction to my body. To Matt.  Other humans walking nearby I didn't feel as much attraction too. This could be why changing people never lasted more then 5 minutes. I followed Matt from above. Suddenly I was in both places at once. Thinking an looking out of matt while floating about. The human me was started by both at once, the spirit me felt accomplished The human matt looked up. and "saw" the "soul" matt above. (Seeing only what appeared to be a ripple in the air. a noticeable disturbance in the air but not a solid object by any means, much more transparent, to the point where it almost wasn't there.) Then I was back to seeing just out of the "soul" matt.

The memory of the words speaking of gods returned. I decided to try some experiments. To see what all I could do. I willed the human me to continue walking to my friends house. I followed my order without question, the human me scratching its head and dismissing what it had seen. I was once again seeing from both perspectives at once, human and soul.  But this time the human me was not startled. I zoomed out my view to see the bigger picture, while keeping my human form in sight. I looked at everything around and exercised control over the environment, a lady having trouble getting her car to start on a slippery hill. I helped push the car forward.

I slowed the wind so it wasn't as cold. Then I did something I shouldn't have. I saw someone walking on snow and ice, and thought it would be funny if they fell. They did. Instantly I was back to just the human matt. I had ignored the rules of karma explained to me. I realized that the negative thing a had created had pulled me back.  I reached my friends house. My mind accelerating though thoughts and theories at an extreme pace. I felt the urge to get back to the state of control, I felt the urge to learn and understand more.  

A quick off note here, this paragraph can be skipped.  The whole time of being the external spirit floating above me, I felt a since of peace, of accomplishment, of success, the feeling is indescribable but definitely a good one.  

At the friends house. Still peeved at myself for reversing the change. My friends were watching TV. A show called family guy. I kept trying to zoom out like I had before, view myself from about, continue on the road that lead to the next step up towards the light,  before I had been a couple of feet above my human form, now I could only get inches in any direction. I was sitting concentrating on this, when my friend asked me if I was ok. Apparently I had been very quiet during this, I said yes and we began to talk of events of the day. I didn't go into detail but I described how I turned off the snow earlier. He looked at me like I was crazy. and gave a dismissive remark. I went back to watching the show and let my mind wander to other things.

Suddenly The show was in Spanish, (the channel did not change) As a note I would like to say I nearly failed Spanish and am horrible at it. But I understood every word in Spanish, and I knew it was legitimate Spanish. I at first thought something was wrong, I said, Why did the show switch to Spanish? except it came out of my mouth ┐Por que cam bi≤ la exposici≤n a espa�ol? (I still couldn't translate that today with out reference.)  The whole room turned at me and stared. My friend said, What? (I heard it ┐Que?)  Then The shows in English what are you talking about? I heard it ┐Las exposiciones en inglΘs acerca de quΘ habla usted?  My mind racing I thought, why do I suddenly understand Spanish? I prefer English I thought. After that thought everything was once again English.

I stood up, and once again I was above myself looking down. my human me laughed and said I need to get something to eat. I watched myself from above go to get dinner, changing things along the way, but careful not to cause any harmful changes. I once again wrote a summery of things before I went to bed. My spirit floated above me for 4 hours when I woke up the next day. It reentered my human form when two people began to fight near me. I think I was supposed to somehow interfere and stop the fight indirectly but I didn't think of this at the time. 

Days passed with no occurrence.

I became a formal member of the group I mentioned earlier. I began studying for final exams (it is finals week now as I type this, I really should be studying for my chemistry final I have in 3 h urs but I felt the urge to write this out before details became blurred or unclear.) I took a break and went to play a video game with a friend down the hall in my dorm. His friend is in a Russian family. while playing the video game he called his mom. Same thing with Spanish I understood the Russian. I wont go in as much detail with it here though. I didn't say anything about it, but I was once again in both places at once. spiritual, and physical. The spirit me was now talking directly to the human me, It said not in English but I understood. "you are getting very close."  The human me felt a surge of joy and achievement at this. 

I left the game, and walked to my room. on the way to my room my spirit once again merged with my body. my dad called me. I discussed much of it with him, and he parallel it to the Buddhist religion. My uncle then called, and he stated that I might have some abilities of ESP. I went to the mirror in the bathroom. I still don't know why, it seem natural, I took off my glasses, and looked into the mirror. I remember thinking, what if there are parallel universes. Suddenly my image in the mirror began to shift. I watched as many versions of myself flashed by. Some chubbier, some skinnier, some wore contacts, some still had there glasses on. one winked at me.  several were not there, either no longer existed, were dead, or maybe just didn't go to college or the same college. and when they went by nothing showed in the mirror.  After that I once again wrote the summery in my journal and went to sleep. 

Nothing has happened since, sometimes I feel like its about to but it doesn't.  I have tried meditating and forcing it to happen to no success. I have gone to many sites looking for something similar with no success. I have gone to sites claiming to teach forced OBE and followed there advice to no success. I want to do it again, I want to accomplish more and get farther and figure this "puzzle" out. I thirst for knowledge and if anyone has had similar experience I encourage an email. Some details were left out to make it an easier read and less long although it is still a monster of a read. I really want to do it again, I want to continue on to the next step. 

hellyale@gmail.com 

I also apologize for bad spelling/grammar

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Uncertain            medicine was taken the first day. But I have taken it before without any such occurrences

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     Some things seen and done are hard to describe and recall now.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Alert and Awake

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes     See Above


What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Feelings are in description

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           When I was spirit and human, my since of hearing seemed to be much stronger

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No response     

Did you see a light?           Yes     There is a white dot at the end of the one side of the shape, although, there is much more to that shape, there is a limit to how far I can zoom out when I see it

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? Yes    
Turned off snow

understanding of languages

Moving of a car on ice.

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          Yes            heightened when in sprit form

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     Time seemed to vary significantly during the first occurrence where things went word by word.  Time also seemed accelerated when in spirit form

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes            Described in story

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             Yes     The shape continues, but I could only zoom out so far

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes     That the universe starts over when it ends

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No       I never had much control over returning, I was many a time forced to return.  I did however have some control over leaving

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes     I still have a heightened since of hearing to this moment, I also have been knowing things will happened 5 - 15 seconds before they do, for example a phone ringing.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I think its the goal, to continue up these steps.  to make it to the top where more of the shape will be revealed and to understand more.  To make the universe as a whole a better place.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       Might change my major to philosophy now. Relationships same, Daily life same, but at the same time I want to do it again.  Religious practices same

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain      Not sure yet. Only been 4 days since last occurrence.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Mom blew it off.

Dad tried to relate it to his religion

Uncle said I might have ESP abilities. 

Roommate discussed and seemed interested.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Frustration now that I cant seem to get out of my body anymore.

A since of peace after seeing the shape.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Worst was the feeling of fear and bewilderment at the center, when the words. This is a joke about the center of the universe.  Best, knowing that I can achieve godlike powers.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        If anyone is an expert, that can give tips on how to do this again, please contact me

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes