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Mary D's Experience

Experience description:   

This is just an excerpt from my experience of oneness that is fully described in my book Loved: A Transcendent Journey.

When I focused my attention on the grass the love was like, I am reveling in the life, in the detail. I am love reveling and expressing myself as grass, it was glorious!

In the experience of being one of the trees, I felt the love resonating like a sense of strength and glorious power, sturdiness, like powerfulness, longevity.

When I felt the love when beam first reached me, it was first like I am precious, I am cherished, I felt cherished, I felt me specifically, I am loved by God and I want you to feel that, that truth, that knowing in your cells, that you are cherished, you are loved, you are precious, you are God's precious baby, delicate precious infant, God's own creation. God loves you as if you were the only thing in existence.

God loves everything like that. God loves all of existence preciously and specifically. God glories in the detail of the magnificence of the life you are co-creating with God. I love God.

When my focus shifted to the rocks, I lost my focus from the love, as I was so surprised, I still felt the love but my focus was on "really?  I am the rock? Really?"

When my focus shifted to become the universe, the love reestablished and multiplied with such immense, immense love. I love remembering it. I love trying to get back to the place, the immensity of the whole universe. I love it. So full, so incredibly awesome, immense love, I want that love for you. I want you to know the immensity of the love that God has for everything in the universe and the universe itself. It's so immense, I love that.

I want to try to take you there with me so imagine how big the earth is, wait, no, back it up, imagine how small a grain of sand is. So you make the earth a grain of sand, and then the sun is as big as the earth, then you make the sun a grain of sand and the solar system as big as the sun then you make the solar system a grain of sand and the galaxy as big as the solar system then you make the galaxy a grain of sand and a tiny little piece of the universe as big as the galaxy then you make the entire, all the quadrant of the Universe a grain of sand and the Void is bigger than the universe, if the universe is a grain of sand. Then stretch it all back, that is the immensity of love.

When my focus went to the field of particles I kind of had the thought "what is this?" which was immediately answered with, this is the tiniest particle. This is what matter comes from. This is love expressed as material.

This is what everything is constructed from. This love, this love expressed as matter, is what the universe is made out of. This is love, this is God's love. Each physical piece of it is love and consciousness and the space between is love consciousness and infinite knowledge infinite information. This is what you did not know yet. This thing, this is it, this is the bridge between my love unexpressed and you. This is the bridge between all that energy unexpressed in the void and you, this field.

I drifted through the field not in any particular spot and I observed how the particles were organized in this matrix and in the matrix the particles were not touching each other, not a single one was touching any of the other ones.

They emitted a light and the rays of light from one reached the rays of light from the other and they entangled and those lines of energy kept the distance stabilized. The energy pushing out, the rays coming out kept the next particle separate there was like a tiny membrane around each particle and inside the particle was illuminated too, it is not that there's something more, this is IT this is the tiniest thing this radiating particle. If I was really going to draw it, it really just looks white but I was seeing or experiencing the information of the particles-ness of the substance, that its actually matter, the way we understand, the way common people understand matter.

Just let me be clear on that, since taking a bunch of physics classes there's some people would say there's no matter in the universe, that is all energy. Well matter is energy, expressed as matter, it's different resonance. It's stable energy and is different. It's not just energy, it's energy expressed as matter. It's love actually. It has equilibrium, a push and a pull, or a radiance and a grab I don't know, anyway, within each little buffered field, each particle did have some wiggle room to move around. It didn't spin.

I shared this story with my astronomy professor and he asked me if they were spinning but they were not spinning. They were just moving slightly in their positions and sometimes there would be several moving in sequence so there would be like the wave effect, mostly they were individually just little nudges moving around slightly so I can now extrapolate what that could result in. Any tiny fluctuation could result in the fabulous detail of the reality that we exist in. Just like that fractal math, the tiniest little fluctuation creates detail and that's what I saw and the love there was really immense and phenomenal too and I don't want to lose that, each particle was conscious and loved specifically. 

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?   No  

Was the experience difficult to express in words?....Yes....There is creation beyond anything in the physical universe.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?....More consciousness and alertness than normal    When I was the vast void.....Say normal is 11 or so lines of coded information. The vast void had a millions lines of coded information.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.    I could see 720 degrees and through time and space. Outside of time and space. Layers and layers of visual information like Photoshop by seeing the image the information of all the layers is self evident. Also emotional and other types of information was available.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.    The sound also contained layers of additional information and emotion and intensity. Still does.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?    Yes   My physical body stayed conscious and operating my vehicle. I have subsequently had veridical OBEs

What emotions did you feel during the experience?....Immense Love  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?....Uncertain....I saw a beam of white. It came out of the sky and touched me on the shoulder. I felt the tangible touch. I became one with the beam. This beam transitioned me from my body. This was an experience that seems to be functionally equivalent to "the tunnel"

Did you see an unearthly light?....Yes....The Beam was diffused at the top and sharp on the edges and came to a point at my shoulder. Then my body glowed a bluish white from inside. The field of particles were also sort of light.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?....I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin    I heard several voices from different locations around me and within me.

One said "everything will be alright." One responding to my unasked question who are  you? "God of Abraham."

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?....No    Not in this particular experience but in many others.

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?....Yes....If you count the life review I had prior to this event. I did remember being 0-4 weeks old being held in my grandfathers arms and was able to verify it with my mom.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?....A clearly mystical or unearthly realm....The field of particles and the vast void.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?....Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning....Slowed stopped and went outside of time.

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?....Everything about the universe....

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?....Yes....there was an event horizon between the field of particle then I went beyond to the vast void.

Did you come to a border or point of no return?....I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was "sent back" against my will....This is a little vague but I did feel like the topic came up and was decided.

Did scenes from the future come to you?....Scenes from the world's future....Why is this an either or question? I received much information about the future.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?....Yes....Omniscient!

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:....Large changes in my life....I felt horrible working for corrupt corporations and challenged their behavior. That did not go over very well. I have a difficult time receiving money now. Work in progress.....

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?    Yes     God does exist and love me. My actions matter. I am more aware of my actions and feelings.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?....Yes     I can talk to the sun and the sun answers. I can feel solar flares and other fluctuations in the magnetic field. Prophetic dreams. Visions. Hugely empathic.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?   Yes   A couple of days after I told my friend who believed me because she had already had an OBE.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?....Yes     I had seen this awesome site. And read a few of the stories. I had also see TV show about it.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:....Experience was definitely real    It was absolutely real but I still wanted to meet someone else who had experienced it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time:....Experience was definitely real....Validation, Validation, Validation. Other people have experienced similar and almost identical experiences.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?....Uncertain....I am still a hot mess when it comes to relationships. LOL But I hope there is a much stronger connection with some.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?....Yes    From doubt to certainty.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?....Yes    I have since had many OBEs Fully through layers of heaven hell and the vast void.

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    No    I only included a excerpt because I published the whole thing in my book. Also there are many other experiences that I continue to have which are to lengthy to include here.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     The field of particles that is the substructure of the universe has not yet been validated by science. But it will. In 2013 UCLA imaged the atoms of platinum and it looks the same as the field I saw. I feel that is because atomic structure is built on the framework of the field.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?....I never was close to death but it is still an NDE because of the spiritual elements. Also it is not enlightenment because I did not have spiritual guides and community. It is not just an OBE from sleeping because I was fully conscious. It does not really fit any category. And I also felt most at home with NDEr as opposed to any other group.